Lollipops and leather
by ozzysgirl
Summary: He was a hit man, enforcer for the Sons of anarchy. And he was the best person in the whole wide world.
1. Chapter 1

I don't own sons of anarchy

CHAPTER 1

"Happeeeeee!" The small, slightly grubby girl ran to his bike, completely unfazed by the reaper decal that decorated it or the fact that the hard faced, tattooed man she approached had killer written all over him. When you're four years old, you only really care about the candy in his pocket and that riding in front of him on his bike is the most thrilling thing in the world.

Happy Lowman, hit man, enforcer for the sons of anarchy and, right now, best person in the whole wide world, dismounted and picking up the little girl, placed her on his hip. "Hi sugar. You got a kiss for your uncle Happy?"

She planted a sticky kiss on his lips and he laughed. "Ugh, what have you been eating?"

"We made cakes. DeeDee let me lick the bowl." She frowned. "You got me candy?"

Happy made a show of searching his pockets. "Happeeee, it's in that pocket, silly." Rolling her eyes, she reached into his inside pocket and pulled out a lollypop. "You are very silly Happy."

"I know sugar. How about I take you home. Dee will be worried."

Again, those baby blue eyes rolled. "DeeDee wont be worried, she heard you, and I am four you know."

Happy grinned. No Dee wouldn't be worried. Just grateful for the five minutes respite that he had provided. He set her on the ground and walked with her to her small, run down home. She ran ahead. "DeeDee. Happy's here."

DeeDee or Dee Miller as she was known to everyone else, turned from the kitchen sink, where she was washing up after an obviously messy baking session. "Hey."

He crossed the small kitchen and kissed her softly. "You look like you've been having fun." He frowned as he looked around. "Where's Mona?"

Dee shrugged. "I dunno. She called me the day before yesterday, freaking out as usual. As soon as I got here, she took off. Haven't seen her since." She dried her hands. "She swore to me she was clean. How am I supposed to do this Hap?"

Happy's eyes fell on the little girl sitting at the kitchen table, licking her lollypop. "She aint your responsibility, Dee."

"No she isn't. But if I don't take care of her who will?"

"I'll talk to ma. Reckon her and the rest of the coven can organize something, they can keep an eye on her."

"Happy! They are not a coven."

He grinned. "Whatever. You'd change your mind if you saw them cackling round the table when I walk in." He tucked a stray hair behind her ear. "You have school, a future. I know you love Lacy- we all do- but you cannot let your sister ruin your life as well as hers. Let me talk to ma."

Dee smiled. "What would I do without you?"

"You'll never have to find out." He kissed her forehead, before turning and tousling Lacy's hair. See you later sugar.

Dee watched through the window as he stalked next door to his mom's house. She couldn't remember a time when Happy wasn't part of her life. From before she was a dorky teenager and he a cocky punk, prospecting for the sons.

It was Happy's mom who made sure Dee and Mona had hot food inside them or let them sleep in the spare room when their junkie mother was too stoned to take care of them- a family trait her sister had inherited- or they were hiding out from the latest crazy boyfriend. If it wasn't for Happy she would have never have had the courage to leave her abusive husband or go back to school.

She looked down as her niece stood next to her, licking her lollypop, a thoughtful expression on her face. "I really love uncle Happy."

Dee picked her up and kissed her sticky cheek. "You and me both, Lacy."

Yvonne Lowman looked up from her bridge game as her son walked through the door. "Happy! What a lovely surprise, you never said you were coming."

He walked over and kissed her cheek. "Was passing, thought I'd drop by."

He rolled his eyes as his mother flashed her friends a triumphant look. -they were very competitive, regarding their offspring's visits.- "I've just seen Dee. Mona's taken off again."

"Oh no, she was doing so well." Yvonne looked over to her friends, the coven. "I'm sure we can take care of Lacy. Dee needs to get back to Frisco." She gathered up the cards. "I'm sorry ladies, we'll continue our game tomorrow and discuss how best to take care of Lacy. But right now I need to make dinner for my son." She gave Happy a smile. "Why don't you and keep Dee company for a while, I'll call you when dinner's cooked."

Happy sighed. His ma was constantly trying to throw them together. She would never give up on the idea that they were perfect for each other. It wasn't that he didn't like Dee, he did. A lot. But she was destined for better things than a second rate life as the old lady of a nomad.

He watched as his ma bustled her friends out of the house. He knew they would take care of Lacy. This neighborhood may have been poor, but it was close knit. They would always look out for one another.

Yvonne knew that her son thought she was a silly old woman sometimes and that the idea of him and Dee was ridiculous. She knew different, though. She firmly believed that if Happy was with the right woman, he'd settle down in one place. She knew he'd never give up that club of his, and in some ways she was glad of that. It may have been the cause of many a sleepless night, but it had also calmed him down. Without it, she was sure he'd have ended up like so many of his peers. Drifting aimlessly through life with a serious drug habit, or worse. She wasn't entirely sure what he did for the club, but she was pretty sure it was bad. But at least all that violence inside him was focused now. He no longer lashed out the way he used to. Hurting those he loved the most.

"Happy." She smiled. "Why don't you go and get Dee and Lacy. I've cooked enough for four."

Later, full on fajitas, they crashed on Yvonne's, ridiculously comfy, sofa in front of the television. Lacy climbed onto Happy's lap and, closing her eyes, stuck her thumb in her mouth. "I lub you Happy." She mumbled.

"I love you too sugar."

"You gonna stay wid us?"

"I can't sugar."

"Jus' tonight?"

Happy sighed. He needed to be in Tacoma by tomorrow night.

"Okay sugar. But I'll be gone before you get up."

She nodded and snuggled deeper into his chest. "Will you put me to bed?"

"Sure."

"And read me a story?"

"And read you a story."

He sat on the edge of the bed in his ma's spare room, reading Winnie the Pooh and stroking her hair. She looked up. "Haaappy."

"Yes sugar?"

"If you married DeeDee, you could be my mommy and daddy."

He shook his head. "Don't think I'd be a very good daddy."

"You would. You could buy me lollypops every day."

She closed her eyes and he sat with her until he was sure she was asleep. Then Happy Lowman, hit man, enforcer and best person in the whole wide world, climbed on his bike and rode off into the night.

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I'm not sure about this. It may stay as a one shot or I might take it further. Please let me know what you think.


	2. Chapter 2

I don't own sons of anarchy

TWO

The feeling of his Harley as it hugged the road, was the best feeling in the world. Happy loved to fight, loved to fuck. But this, weaving through the traffic at ninety, senses alert was what he loved best of all. The knowledge that one slip, one lapse of concentration would leave him a greasy mark on the asphalt just heightened the pleasure. Shit there were times when he thought it was even better than sex. The roar of the engine drowned out any noise in his head. By the time he reached Tacoma, thirteen hours later he had reached an almost Zen like state of calm.

Kozic was sitting on the steps of the clubhouse with Lorca discussing whether or not she girl in front of them was a natural redhead or not. They looked up as Happy killed his engine and approached. "Hey man."

He hugged his brothers and sat on the step next to them. "What's happening?"

"Not much." Kozic indicated to the redhead "Just trying to figure whether the collar matches the cuffs."

Happy grinned. "They don't."

"Fuck." Kozic handed over a ten dollar bill and getting to his feet, marched into the clubhouse.

Happy rolled his eyes. Those two would bet on anything. "So which one of you was planning on finding out?"

Lorca shrugged. "It'd have to be me man. There's no way that fucker was gonna tell the truth."

Happy laughed. "Looks like I saved you the trouble, bro." He moved to follow Kozic.

Lorca rolled his eyes. "Gee thanks."

Happy headed straight for the dorms. If he was lucky, he would be able to get a couple of hours sleep before Quinn and Greg turned up.

"Hey, big guy. Want some company?"

He looked the blonde up and down. Bit too skinny for his tastes and he'd prefer it if her tits were real. "Sure." He watched her ass as she sashayed to one of the dorms. What the hell. A fuck's a fuck at the end of the day.

In the event Happy managed a whole six hours sleep before his fellow nomads turned up.

They had a protection run to Alaska, Happy hated the Alaska runs. They were cold, miserable and they would be on the road for eight days, too long, even for him. But the purse was extremely good and he liked to be able to help out his ma whenever he could. She only had a small pension. And, well, he owed her.

It was a month before he got back to Bakersfield. As usual Lacy was there before he'd killed the engine. He swore that child had the ears of a bat. "Happeee!" She raised her arms to be picked her up. Frowning when he didn't comply. "I need hugs Happy."

He shook his head. "You sure you're not too big for hugs? Now you're nearly five and all."

"Course not. C'mon Happy don't be so mean."

With an exaggerated sigh, he picked her up and kissed her cheek, chuckling as she thrust her hand into his inside pocket. "You only love me for my candy."

Lacy giggled and unwrapped the lollypop. "I love you cos you give the best hugs."

"Sure you do sugar." He looked over to her house. "Is mommy home?"

Lacy nodded. "She said a real bad word when she heard your bike."

"I'm sure she did. Why don't you go an' see Nana Von. I need to talk to her."

"You gonna shout at her?"

"Maybe a little."

"Happy, mommy cries if you shout." She stuck out her bottom lip and Happy felt like a complete shit. The kid really didn't need this.

"I promise, I wont make mommy cry, okay sugar?"

"Okay." She tightened her grip on his neck as he carried her to his ma's house.

Yvonne smiled and hugged her son as Lacy ran into her lounge and switched on the television. "Did she tell you Mona's home?"

"Yeah. Can you watch her while I go next door?"

"Happy, are you sure that's a good idea?"

Happy shrugged. "Probably not." He turned on his heel and headed out of the house to confront the woman next door.

Mona Miller looked up as happy barged into her kitchen, his face like thunder. "Don't start, Hap."

"You really think I aint gonna say anything? You can't keep doing this M."

He ran his hand over his head and looked at the woman in front of him. His mother might have spent half her life trying to push him and Dee together, but while Mona was around it was never going to happen.

Everyone had a weakness, an Achilles heel and for Happy it was Mona. There had never been a time he hadn't loved her. There was no transgression he wouldn't forgive. He knew that their relationship- if that was what it was- was toxic. He had tried time and time again to walk away. But every time, the call of the siren lured him back. Nothing, not her drug habit, not the fact that she had got herself knocked up while he was locked up in county, not the lies could keep him away.

He covered the space between them in two strides. "This has to stop M." He ran his fingers through her hair. "What was it this time?"

She shrugged. "It just gets outta control sometimes. I'm trying. Really, Hap, I am." She laid her hands against his chest. "Maybe if you was around more…"

"Oh no. you don't get to use that excuse, M." He pushed himself away from her. "You gave up that right five years ago." He took a deep breath. There was no point in going over old ground. She wasn't his old lady and, technically free to be with anyone she wanted. But when he found out she was pregnant, he'd wanted to kill her. He had thought he would hate that baby when she looked at him with another man's eyes. He had no idea who the her father was, it wasn't important. He loved that kid like she was his own, and would lay down his life for her.

"You gotta think of Lacy. These binges, they have to stop. You aint a kid anymore, you have responsibilities. It aint fair on her or Dee. Shit, M. It aint fair on any of us."

"I'm sorry." She looked at him through her thick black lashes. "I don't mean to hurt anyone. I'm a fuck up, I know. May be it would be better for everyone if I was dead."

Happy swallowed. She was stunning. Those big brown eyes, like liquid chocolate, coupled with her creamy complexion and blonde hair was a heady mix. The years of drug abuse, the binges had done nothing to diminish her beauty. "Don't." He croaked. "Don't ever say that." He brought his mouth down onto hers, taking her breath away with his ferocity.

He lifted her off the ground and she wrapped her legs around his waist. "I love you, Happy."

"No you don't. You don't love anyone."

Yvonne sat opposite Lacy and laid out the dominoes. "You okay sweetheart?"

Lacy nodded and stuck her finger up her nose. "Happy promised not to make mommy cry.

Yvonne raised an eyebrow. "Don't pick your nose dear. Happy doesn't mean to make your mommy cry. You know that, don't you?"

"I know. He just gets mad cos she goes away." She licked her lolly pop and picked up a domino. "Does Happy love mommy?"

"I think so."

"But he aint gonna marry her."

"Wouldn't you like him to marry her?"

She shook her head. "It would be nice if he was my daddy. But they yell all the time." She looked up at the woman in front of her and her finger found it's way back up her nose. "I think he should marry DeeDee. They never yell." Sliding off her chair, she made her way to the fridge. "Nana Von, can I have some Juice?"

"Sure sweetheart." Yvonne smiled. Out of the mouth's of babes.


	3. Chapter 3

I don't own sons of anarchy

THREE

Happy laid on his back, one arm behind his head, the other wrapped around the woman next to him. Not for the first time he wondered what it was about her that made him so weak.

They had grown up together. She had always been wild, crazy. Even as kids, despite the three year age gap, it had been her who instigated most of the shit they got up to. As the oldest, he always took the blame. From when they got caught stealing candy to when the principle walked in on them smoking weed in the classroom in high school, Happy took the rap. He was the one who led her astray.

She had been his first. He was seventeen and Mona a few days away from her fifteenth birthday, when she had seduced him.

As a teenager, Happy hadn't shown much interest in girls. No that was a lie. They hadn't shown much interest in him. He was lanky and awkward, uncomfortable in his own skin. He was only really comfortable around her. She saw something in him that, at the time, no one else did, and by the time he had grown into his body and girls started to throw themselves at him, the die was cast. Happy was in love. Maybe if he hadn't been such a dick and fucked any girl that looked his way, she wouldn't have looked elsewhere. But by the time he had discovered the sons in Charming, Mona was already hanging with a bad crowd and dabbling in things she shouldn't. Maybe he should've helped her, but he was so wrapped up with prospecting that he didn't notice the change in her until it was too late. They were young, little more than kids. At best their relationship could be described as volatile. They would fight, cheat on each other, take off for weeks on end, before crawling back into each other's arms, for the best make up sex ever.

Happy sat up and swung his legs over the edge of the bed. Mona frowned. "Running out on me again Hap?"

"Aint running out on ya. Got shit to do."

"Sure you have. Same old, same old, aint it hap."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Happy gritted his teeth. "What do you want Mona?"

"That's all I am to you aint I? Just a fuck. Maybe just once you could stay the night.

"You know that's a bad idea, M."

"No I don't."

Happy stood up and pulled on his jeans. "We've talked about this, M."

"No! You piece of shit. You've talked about this. It's bullshit, Hap. You're just using Lacy as an excuse."

"Mona." He sat on the bed and took her hands. He really needed to diffuse the situation, before she blew up on him. "I care about you. But you're bad for me. An' I'm bad for you." He laid his hand on her cheek. "We hurt each other. That little girl don't need to see that shit. She's got enough to deal with."

"What with her having an unstable, junkie mother, and all."

"That's not what I meant."

"Yes it is."

"No it aint."

"Well what is it then huh? Don't wanna get down off that pedestal she's put you on? She aint gonna be a little girl for ever Hap. Sooner or later she's gonna see you for the asshole you really are."

He stood and pulled on the rest of his clothes. She'd hit the nail on the head. Not that he'd ever admit it. He couldn't bear the thought of seeing the disappointment in that little girl's eyes. "She needs stability M. Me being here aint gonna give her that. Watching us going at it all the time is going to hurt her. You might not care whether she gets hurt or not, but I do."

"That's a low blow."

"Don't make it any less true. I know you love her, but you're selfish M. Don't you remember how you felt when your ma took off, or you came home an' she was out cold on the sofa? Why would you wanna put your own kid through the same shit?"

"I don't Hap." She climbed out of bed and stood, naked before him. "When she was born, I swore to myself, I wouldn't turn into my mother." She sighed. "I don't know why I do it. You're right. I'm selfish and weak and pathetic and right now I really hate myself."

He pulled her into his arms. "I'll try to be around more. It must be tough on your own."

"This aint on you Hap." She wrapped her arms around his waist. "You should stay well away from me. I'm poison."

Happy gave a short humourless laugh and kissed the top of her head. "I would if I could baby girl."

Lacy was laying on her stomach on his ma's floor, watching the television. She looked up and smiled as Happy walked in. "You gonna watch Little mermaid with me, Happy?"

"I cant sugar. I'm allergic to mermaids. They make my eyes fall out."

Lacy sat up and looked at him sceptically. "Really?"

"Really."

"Okay." She picked up the remote control, and switched off the tv. "Will you draw with me?"

"Sure." He pulled her to her feet and sat her at the kitchen table, before going to the same drawer where his mom kept the paper and pencils as she did when he was a kid. "So what shall we draw?"

"Unicorns."

Several unicorns later, Lacy's eyes started to close. Happy stroked her hair. "You tired sugar?"

"No."

"Oh I think you are. How about I take you home?"

"And put me to bed?"

"And put you to bed."

"And read me a story."

"And read you a story."

"Okay." He picked her up and she snuggled into his neck. "I love you Happy."

"I love you too sugar."

Yvonne looked up from her knitting. "Goodnight sweetheart."

"Night, Nana Von." Lacy stuck her thumb in her mouth and closed her eyes, resting her head on Happy's shoulder. "Hap?"

"Yes sugar?"

"Did you make mommy cry?"

"No."

"You promise?"

"I promise."

"Hap?"

"Yes sugar?"

"Do you love mommy?"

"Yeah I do."

"Even though she's a fuck up?"

"Don't use words like that."

"Sorry Hap. Hap?"

"Yes sugar?"

"Do you love DeeDee?"

"I like her. What's all this about?"

"I think you should marry her. You don't yell at her and make her cry. Nanna Von thinks you should marry her as well."

"Nanna Von should butt the fuck out."

"Happy! Don't use words like that."

"Sorry sugar. C'mon lets get you to bed."


	4. Chapter 4

I don't own sons of anarchy

FOUR

As much as Happy loved Mona and that little girl of hers, there were times when he would have to push them to the back of his mind. Even his mother had her own compartment. He couldn't let his personal life intrude when he had club shit to take care of. To do that would jeopardise his and his brothers' safety. It was a fine line that he walked, taking care of both his family in Bakersfield and his club family.

It was Lacy's fifth birthday and as much as he'd have liked to, Happy wouldn't be able to see her. He was sure she didn't need him to have a nice day. His ma was having a tea party at her place and Dee was going to be there. He just had to ignore the tiny, nagging voice that was telling him over and over again that he was just one more person letting her down, and deal with the matter at hand.

The Mayans were pushing deeper and deeper into Charming and they needed to be curtailed. But first the sons needed information about the heroin routes they were using, and for that they needed Happy. So while the little girl who he loved more than life itself tucked into jelly and ice cream, he was smashing the fingers of a Mexican, one at a time, using a claw hammer.

He never once saw the irony in what he did. As far as he was concerned you did whatever was necessary to take care of those you loved. He got no pleasure from hurting people, but he did get a sense of satisfaction from a job well done.

The man in front of him screamed and begged for mercy. Happy gave a grim smile. Fucker wouldn't hold out for long. He nodded to Jax and Bobby, who stood by the door looking slightly sick. "I think our little friend is ready to talk."

Walking outside, he lit a cigarette and pulled out his cell.

"Hey ma, she there?"

"Hi honey. Yeah hold on a sec. Lacy sweetheart. You wanna talk to Happy?"

"Happy?"

"Hey sugar. I'm sorry I missed your birthday. Are you having a good time?"

"I guess."

"You mad at me?"

"You promised, Happy."

"I promised to try, sugar. I'll make it up to you."

"Okay. Hap?"

"Yeah sugar?"

"Mommy called you a bad word. She said…."

"It's okay, I don't need to hear it. I can guess."

"Hap?"

"Yes sugar?"

"Do you still love me?"

"Of course I do."

"Hap?"

"Yes?"

"We're having cake. With candles. And jelly."

"Are you gonna save me some?"

"Okay. Have you got me a present?"

"Wait and see. I gotta go sugar, I'll see you soon."

"Kay. Love you Happy."

"Love you too, sugar."

Mona looked up and smiled as her daughter took her place back at the table. "Did you talk to Happy sweetheart?"

"He wants me to save him some cake." Lacy watched as nanna Von lit the candles. "Don't yell at him when he comes."

"Why do you think I'd yell at him?"

"Mommeeee, you always yell if he don't come."

"I'll try not to."

Mona ran her hand over Lacy's head. She was trying really hard this time. Since her last binge two months ago she hadn't touched a drink and, apart from an occasional joint, had stayed away from drugs. More than anything, she wanted to be a good mom. Someone Happy thought worthy of making his old lady. He was probably right when he said that what they had was toxic. Sometimes she wished he would just stay away for ever, and let her get on with her life. No that was a lie. She needed him. More than the drink, more than drugs. She loved him so much she could barely breathe and, at times, hated him enough to rip out his heart.

As she joined in singing 'happy birthday,' she realised that this was the first time she had celebrated her daughter's birthday, sober.

Dee helped her niece to blow out the candles and smiled over at her sister. She really hoped that this time Mona had turned the corner. She knew she was trying to fight the demons inside her and right now it seemed she was winning.

There was a tiny, mean spirited part of her that resented her older sister. She'd had it all. Beauty, a wonderful daughter. Happy. Yet it never seemed enough for her. While Dee worked hard for everything she had, Mona indulged herself or wallowed in self pity. Mostly though, Dee was grateful for her wonderful niece, the opportunities she had been given and that if he couldn't love her like she wished he would, Happy could be her friend.

* * *

It was several weeks before Happy got the chance to be in Bakersfield again. After a quick visit with his ma, he headed next door and let himself in. "Happeee!" Lacy threw herself at him. "Why didn't I hear you coming?"

"Aint on my bike, sugar."

"How'd you get here then?" Lacy was genuinely perplexed. Happy rode a bike. Always.

"Borrowed my buddy's truck. Thought it was more suitable for taking you shopping."

"I could go on your bike. I like going on your bike."

"I know. But if we buy lots of toys we need a truck to get them home."

Lacy grinned. "Toys?"

"You do like toys right?"

"You really are very silly, Happy."

Happy grinned. "I guess I am. Why don't you get yourself ready, while I talk to mommy."

Mona smiled and kissed him softly. "Hey."

"Hey, yourself." He touched her cheek. "You look great."

"Thanks. I feel it." She looked down at her daughter. "Where you planning on taking her?"

"Thought we could hit toys r us."

"You! In a toy shop. I'd pay money to see that."

"Come with us. There's room in the truck." He turned to Lacy. "Wanna take Mommy too?"

"Okay, but no yelling."

Mona frowned. "We don't yell all the time."

Lacy rolled her eyes. "What ever."

"Oh shit. Five going on fifteen." Happy shook his head and crouched down. "We wont yell. Now how about we put those shoes on the right feet."

Lacy was beside herself with excitement. Her mommy and Happy were taking her shopping for toys and had promised not to yell. She sat between them in the truck and jiggled up and down. "Hap?"

"Yes sugar?"

"Are you sure you know how to drive a truck?"

"Reckon I can manage."

Without doubt. This was the best day of her life. She had two Barbie dolls, a Barbie horse, a bright pink teddy and loads of paper and crayons. Mommy had said she could have a Happy meal, which made her giggle a lot. Best of all mommy and Happy hadn't yelled once.

She cuddled her pink teddy as Happy tucked her into bed. "Hap?"

"Yes sugar?"

"You gonna stay the night?"

"Maybe."

"Mommy will cook pancakes for breakfast."

"Pancakes Huh? Guess I'll have to stay then."

She grinned and handed him 'Winnie the Pooh.' "Do you really know someone called Tigger?"

"Yep."

"Wow. Praps he could come for tea."

"Maybe. Think you might be a bit disappointed though. Now lay down an' let me tell you all about the heffalump."


	5. Chapter 5

I don't own sons of anarchy

FIVE

"So Yvonne. I haven't see that son of yours in a while."

Yvonne pursed her lips and looked at her cards. She didn't need reminding that Happy had, for all intents and purposes, gone AWOL. "He's on the east coast. Has been for the last four months." She smiled through gritted teeth. "He should be home for Christmas."

"You must be missing him."

"I do." She looked over to the little girl laying on her belly, colouring in a picture of a unicorn. "Not as much as her though."

"Mommy fall off the wagon again?"

She nodded. "I had hoped that this time… It's like a sickness inside her." She sighed. "I hate to say this Betty, but maybe if Happy stuck around more, she'd find it easier to cope."

"I thought you didn't like the idea of those two together." Betty gave her old friend a smile. "Reckon you thought Dee was better daughter in law material."

"I did. Still do. But that dumbass son of mine can't see it. In their own twisted way, him and Mona love each other." She looked back at her cards. It wasn't that she didn't care about Mona. She did. And she adored Lacy. But she wasn't strong enough to be with a man like Happy. He needed someone who wasn't going to fall apart if he went away and more importantly, was strong enough to stand shoulder to shoulder with him when he was around. Yvonne Lowman was no fool. She knew what her son was and had a pretty good idea what he did. She also knew that he had to take his share of responsibility for Mona's mental state. He would disappear for weeks, months on end and, when he was around, try and lay down the law or make promises he couldn't keep. It wasn't just Mona he was hurting. His behaviour wasn't helping Lacy either. She knew he loved them both, but she also knew that love wasn't enough.

* * *

Happy zipped up his hoodie and leaning on the clubhouse wall, lit a cigarette. Not for the first time, he wondered if agreeing to this secondment to New York, had been a good idea. They had been desperate for bodies while a third of their number were in the joint and as a charter, they earned big. Drugs were not something he was comfortable dealing with, most of the west coast charters avoided them. But here it was how they made most of their money.

He always felt like a hypocrite sending the cash he'd earned from drug running to Mona. Especially now, after his ma told him she thought she was using again. He sighed. He was committed now. Whether he liked it or not, he wouldn't be returning to Bakersfield for at least two months.

He turned and walked back into the Samyork clubhouse, his senses assaulted by the stench of sweat, weed and cheap perfume. As he scanned the room his eyes fell on the raven haired sweetbutt who had become a favourite of his during his stay. Nodding to her, he headed out back to the dorms. New York did have some redeeming features.

* * *

Mona climbed out of bed. "Hey." She pushed the body still laying there. "You need to leave." Without waiting for an answer she headed to the bathroom and turned on the shower. Maybe the scalding water could wash away the filth. Shit, she hated herself so much. She scrubbed and scrubbed but the feeling wouldn't go away. She had promised Happy she wouldn't do this again, although maybe if he hadn't took off to New York she wouldn't have got all twisted up again. Fucking Happy. Fucking piece of shit. It was all his fault. Her skin was raw and starting to bleed as she scrubbed harder. No, this wasn't Happy's fault. She was the weak and pathetic one. No wonder he didn't want to stick around.

The water was running cold, she turned it off and dried herself roughly before dressing herself and returning to the bedroom to remove the stranger from her bed before Lacy came home.

* * *

Lacy woke and stretched. She had stayed at Nana Von's. Mommy had started going out at night again. She sat up and looked out of the window. Maybe happy would come home today. She sighed, she knew that mommy and Nana Von had said he wouldn't be home till Christmas, but she still hoped that, maybe, they were wrong. Lacy hated it when Happy was away. Her mommy started going out all the time, and when she was home, her hands shook and she just slept all the time. She wondered if it was her fault. Maybe if she wasn't naughty Happy would want to stay and mommy would stop being so sad.

* * *

The light was stating to fade as Happy rode through Bakersfield and turned onto his ma's road. Despite the obvious poverty of the area, the houses were decked out with coloured lights giving the place a festive feel. Only one was in darkness and he felt his heart sink. Fucking Mona. Would it kill her to hang some lights outside the house? Lacy didn't need reminding what a deadbeat her mother was.

Instead of going to his ma's, he let himself into her house and headed straight for the bedroom. He guessed Mona was in.- her car was on the driveway.- "Mona?"

"Shit! Happy!"

The man on top of her grunted, then gasped as he felt the barrel of a gun pressed against his temple. "What the…?"

"Shut up asshole." Happy glanced at Mona. "I'm going next door. I want that piece of shit gone by the time I get back." He chuckled. "Wouldn't wanna get blood all over your sheets."

"Hap, I…"

"Don't wanna hear it, M." He turned and marched back out of the house without a backward glance.

Mona laid back against the pillows. "Shit."

"Who the fuck was that?"

"That was your worst nightmare." She gave a tiny smile that failed to reach her eyes. "You better leave. If you're still here when he gets back, he'll probably kill us both."

"Happy!" Yvonne dropped her knitting on the floor and getting to her feet, pulled him into a hug. "I wasn't expecting you till the end of the week."

Happy shrugged and returned the hug. "Lacy here?"

"She's asleep. Leave her till the morning."

"I wont wake her." A lie, they both knew. He headed for the spare room. "She okay?"

"I don't know, Happy. She's getting older, noticing things." She frowned. "You two need to sort yourselves out, one way or another. Cos right now it's that little girl in there that's getting hurt."

Happy sat on the edge of the bed and gently stroked her hair. She always slept like this, curled tightly into a ball, with her thumb in her mouth. She stirred at his touch and opened her eyes. "Happy?"

"Hey sugar." He pulled off his hoodie and his cut and laid down next to her, smiling as her arms snaked around his neck.

"Hap?" He voice was drowsy, full of sleep.

"Yes sugar?"

"I missed you."

"I missed you too."

"Hap?"

"Yes sugar?"

"I knew you'd come home." She snuggled closer. "Mommy's been real sad. Please don't yell at her."

"I'll try not to."

"Hap?"

"Go to sleep, we can talk in the morning."

"Okay. Hap?"

"Yeah?"

"Did you bring me candy?"

"Course I did. Now go back to sleep."

"Hap?"

"Yes sugar?"

"I'm really glad you're home."

"Me too."

He had planned on going back next door to have it out with Mona. But as he laid next to her, he realised that, right now Lacy needed him more. His ma was right. All this shit with him and Mona was fucking her up. So tonight he would put her needs first. Mona could wait.


	6. Chapter 6

I don't own sons of anarchy

SIX

Happy sat on the doorstep trying to figure out how he was going to tell them he was leaving. He had tried, really tried. They both had. Coming home and finding Mona stoned out of her mind with a stranger in her bed had been a wake up call. He couldn't keep disappearing from her life anymore.

Lacy too, was clearly suffering. She had been clingy and needy in the weeks following his homecoming. Actually crying whenever he had to go to Charming for a few days.

He had managed to keep a lid on his temper, Mona was vulnerable, more fragile than he'd ever seen her. Yelling at her for fucking someone when he was away would be counter-productive and given his own behaviour, hypocritical.

For nearly six months he had managed to split his time between Bakersfield, Charming and Vegas, ensuring he got to spend as much time as he could with them, and for the first few weeks it had looked like things might actually work out for them. Mona had managed to clean up her act and they'd kept the fights to a minimum. They'd had a proper Christmas with a tree and Lacy had a stocking full of gifts from Santa.

Yvonne was delighted. She still believed that Dee would be better for her son, but at least he was showing signs of settling down and Mona appeared to be staying clean. As time went on, though, the cracks had started to show.

He rested his head in his hands. Who was he kidding? He wasn't cut out for playing happy families and Mona wasn't cut out to be an old lady. He had loved her for over twenty years, but he was beginning to realise that he didn't actually like her very much. He shut his eyes, he didn't think she liked him very much either. They clashed over pretty much everything, from what to watch on tv to how much time he spent with the sons. The only time things were good between them was when they were fucking or when Lacy was around.

Shit. Lacy. How was he going to tell her. He stood and walked back into the house. "Mona?"

"In here." Mona sat on the bed hugging her knees. It hadn't been a big fight, just him bitching about the state of the place and her getting all defensive. Somehow, though, she knew that this was the final straw. It was getting to the point where they couldn't even be in the same room as each other. She sniffed and roughly brushed away a tear. All her fucking life, this was what she had wanted. And now she had it, she couldn't be more miserable.

While it was true that Happy being around had helped her stay clean and she was definitely a better mommy to Lacy, there wasn't a day went by that she didn't want a drink, or to get high. The only thing that stopped her was the fact that Happy would kick her ass if she fell off the wagon.

She looked up as he walked into the room. "You're leaving." A statement, not a question.

Happy shrugged and sat on the bed. "I'm sorry, M." He reached out and pulled her to him. "It aint that I don't love you. I just don't know how I'm supposed to do this."

"I know." She rested her head on his shoulder. "What about Lacy?"

"I dunno." He ran his hand across his forehead. "I wanna be in her life."

"Never any question, Hap. And me? You wanna be in mine?"

He kissed her softly. "Never been able to stay away before." He chuckled. "I guess the expression can't live with ya, can't live without ya, was made for us."

"What you going to tell her?"

"The truth."

"And what's that?"

"That if we stay together we're gonna be fighting all the time. That I love her an' I'll always be there for her."

Mona smiled and stroked his cheek. "I love you so much Happy. Why can't this be easy?"

"Cos you're an unstable junkie an' I'm an emotionless asshole."

"Yeah that could be it." She gasped as his mouth came crashing down on hers. There could be no denying it, no one did fucked up relationships quite like Happy and Mona.

Lacy grinned as the skipped to the school gates. Happy hardly ever came to pick her up. "Happy!" She squealed as he picked her up and blew raspberries in her ear. "Stop it Happeeee."

Happy laughed and threw her over his shoulder and marched to Mona's car. "So sugar. You wanna get a burger?"

Lacy nodded and climbed into the little car. "Help me buckle up Happy." As he helped her, she sighed. "Are you going away again?"

"Yeah. How'd you know that sugar."

"You always buy me a happy meal if you're going away."

"Smart girl."

"Well I am nearly six. You will be here for my birthday wont you?"

"Yeah, I can do that."

"Hap?"

"Yes sugar?"

"Are you coming back?"

"I'll come back to see you. But I wont be staying anymore."

"Is it cos I was naughty an' didn't tidy my toys away?"

"Shit. No sugar. Me an' your mommy. We gonna start yelling at each other again if I stay."

"Okay. Hap?"

"Yes sugar?"

"Do you still love me?"

"More than anything in the world."

"Hap?"

"Yeah?"

"Can I have ice cream as well?"

"Sure."

She was subdued as she ate her happy meal in silence, her eyes downcast. Happy felt like a complete shit. "Lacy, sugar. I aint leaving cos of you."

"I know."

"Talk to me Lacy."

"What if mommy gets sad again?"

"I'll still be around, to keep my eye on you both."

"Hap?"

"Yes sugar?"

"What if you find another little girl an' you love her more than me?"

"That is never going to happen."

"That's what Jenny's dad said, an' then he got a new girlfriend an' she had a baby an' he loved her more an' he don't go to see Jenny any more." she looked at him with huge eyes, glassy with unshed tears.

"I promise, you will always be my number one girl."

She nodded but looked unconvinced. "Okay."

For the rest of the evening, she wouldn't let him out of her sight and insisted that he stayed with her until she fell asleep. By the time he came downstairs, he was mentally exhausted. "Mona, I'm going round to ma's, I wont be long." Mona nodded and watched him leave. He thought telling Lacy was tough. That was nothing. Yvonne was going to flip.

Yvonne did, indeed, flip. "What do you mean you're leaving? What about Lacy and Mona? They need you Happy."

"I tried ma."

"Ha! Tried? That's a joke. You haven't tried. I'm not blind, I know you and Mona are struggling. But maybe if you were around more. Stop putting that stupid club of yours first all the time."

"This has nothing to do with the club."

"It has everything to do with the club."

"Mona knows the score."

"No Happy. She knows you disappear for days on end. That there's a good chance that you could end up dead or in jail. She knows that you can't keep your dick in your pants. Do you really think she's going to be okay with that?" She stood and poked him in his chest. "Does it ever occur to you that she wouldn't be so screwed up if you spent more time concentrating on her and less time doing shit for the club."

"You have no idea what you're talking about."

"Don't I? Okay then. What about Lacy? Have you thought about what you leaving is going to do to her?"

"I'll always be there for her. I always have."

"I hardly call turning up once in a blue moon with candy and a bedtime story, being there for her. What happens when Mona loses it again? I'm not getting any younger, I cant keep picking up the pieces. You need to man up and be a proper father to her."

"I aint her father."

"It might not be your blood that runs through her veins, but you're the only father she's got. You're letting her down. Just like your father let you down."

"I am nothing like that piece of shit."

"You keep telling yourself that Happy."

"I love Lacy. I'd never hurt her."

"And what do you think you're doing now?" She sat down, suddenly tired. "Just go, Happy. Right now, I can't stand to look at you."

Happy watched Lacy as she slept, trying to swallow the guilt that lodged in his chest. His ma was right, he was going to hurt her.

He was a deadbeat just like his dad.


	7. Chapter 7

I don't own sons of anarchy

SEVEN

Happy marched through the hospital corridor, the sound of his boots only marginally louder than the beating of his heart. This was what his mother had warned him about. He turned the corner and came face to face with Dee feeding coins into a coffee machine. "Shit Happy!" Coffee forgotten she threw herself into his arms.

Wrapping his arms around her, he held her close as she sobbed into his chest. "I got ya, girl."

"I'm sorry Hap. I was determined not to fall apart."

"He held her at arms length. You don't have to be strong all the time, Dee." Leading her back to the waiting room, he sat her down. "How is she?"

She shrugged. "Looks like they got to her in time. She's not awake yet, but she should make a full recovery."

Happy sat down. "This is my fault, I should've been there. Ma warned me this would happen if I bailed."

Dee shrugged. "Did you sell her that smack? Did you put that needle in her arm?"

"No, but…"

"Then this isn't your fault."

"Where's Lacy?"

"With your mom. Poor kid, it was her that found her."

"Shit. Fucking Mona." He rested his forearms on his knees and stared at the floor. "I'm sorry Dee."

"Why should you be sorry. I told you it isn't your fault." she gave a small smile. "She's still got you all twisted up hasn't she?"

Happy shrugged. "Never been a time when she hasn't. When you called, I thought…I thought."

Dee slipped her hand in his. "She'll be fine, Hap."

"And Lacy?"

"Right now she's in bits, but she'll get over it. Kids are pretty resilient, I should know."

"You think I should go and see her?"

"I think she needs you more than Mona does. It's okay Hap, I'll stay here. I'll call you when she wakes up."

He nodded and headed back out to his bike.

"Happy!" As soon as she heard the familiar sound of his bike, Lacy was running to the front door. She knew he'd come. Nana Von had warned her that he might not. But she'd known Happy wouldn't let her down. Nana Von looked up from her knitting but didn't tell her off for opening the front door, like she usually did. Lacy wondered if she was still mad at Happy. She hoped not. Happy loved Nana Von and if she stayed mad at him he might not come home anymore.

Running down the garden path she threw herself at Happy, before he'd even had the chance to take of his helmet. "Happy! I knew you'd come."

He picked her up and she hugged him tightly around his neck. "Nana Von said you wouldn't come. But I knew you would." She sniffed. "Mommy's real sick. I couldn't make her wake up. They put her in an ambulance. Is she gonna die Hap?"

"Hey, hey. Mommy's going to be fine. As soon as she wakes up, I'll take you to see her." Happy managed to remove his helmet. "How 'bout we go in and see if Nana Von is talking to me."

"Okay. Hap?"

"Yes sugar?"

"Is Nana Von mad cos you went away?"

"Yeah, but she'll get over it."

"You said mommy wouldn't get sad, but she did. And then Nana Von got mad an' said it was your fault."

"I'm sorry Sugar. I should have been taking care of her. I wont let it happen again."

Yvonne looked up as they walked back into the house. "Well, well, look what the cat dragged in."

"Not now ma."

She shook her head and stood up. "Are you hungry? Lacy and me were going to have pizza."

"Pizza sounds good." He sat on the sofa with Lacy on his lap, her arms still wrapped tightly around his neck.

He looked at his mom and she gave a tiny shake of her head. Lacy really wasn't okay. "Lacy. Look at me." She turned her head slightly but refused to relinquish her death grip on his neck. "Lacy. Your mommy really is going to be fine."

"Okay." Her voice was tiny. "She was all white, Hap. And I shouted and shouted but she wouldn't open her eyes. And I got scared and came and got Nana Von."

"You did good, sugar."

He felt her relax her grip and he shifted so they could both be more comfortable. "Happy?"

"Yes Sugar."

"If mommy dies, where will I go?"

"She aint gonna die, I told you."

"I know, but…"

"I'll take care of you."

"Okay."

Normally Lacy loved Pizza nights at Nana Von's. But this time she didn't eat, she just sat, staring at her plate, pulling the pizza apart with her fingers. Happy and Yvonne exchanged a look. He stood and held out his hand. "C'mon sugar. How about I take you to bed."

"Will you stay with me?"

"Of course."

It was over an hour before she fell asleep. Happy finally disentangled himself and went downstairs to face the wrath of his mother.

As soon as he entered the lounge, she turned on him. "This is on you Happy. You knew how fragile Mona was. You promised her and that little girl up there that you still be around, so where were you? It's been over three months."

"I know, I'm sorry. I was needed in Tacoma."

"Oh you were needed by that precious club of yours. Well obviously that has to take precedence over the woman you claim to love and her six year old daughter."

"If you're trying to make me feel guilty, don't bother. I already feel like a complete shit."

"Good."

Happy walked to the kitchen and pulled a beer from the fridge. "I dunno what I'm supposed to do here, ma."

"Take care of those you love."

"I'm trying. You really don't get it, do you? The club is my family too. Even if I patched to a single charter and settled in one place and I made her my old lady, Mona would still be the way she is. At least as a nomad I can earn more, send you and her money."

"I don't need your dirty money."

"Bullshit! You know where it comes from but you always have your fucking hand out. And Mona, who do you think pays her bills, her medical insurance?"

"And you couldn't do that if you had a proper job?"

"Doing what? I'm a felon, ma. I've got no education and I'm practically unemployable. As it is I'm thirty five years old and the only thing I have to my name is that bike out there. Do you really think I could provide for you all if I had a minimum wage job at Walmart?"

"Other people manage it."

"I'm not other people. Shit." He threw the bottle across the kitchen, causing it to smash against the wall. "I'm sorry I'm such a disappointment to you. Maybe I should just leave."

"Don't go."

"Oh shit, sugar." He turned to the small figure, clutching a bright pink teddy and swept her up into his arms, hugging her tight. "I didn't mean it. I just got mad."

"You mad at me?"

"I could never be mad at you."

"At Nana Von?"

"No sugar I aint mad at Nana Von. I'm just mad at myself for letting you down."

Yvonne smiled and blinked away her tears. "How about Happy takes you back to bed and I'll bring you a nice glass of milk?" She reached out and touched her hair. "I'm sorry we upset you, but it's okay. Me and happy still love each other. And we both love you very much."


	8. Chapter 8

I don't own sons of anarchy

EIGHT

Happy watched the woman sleeping on the narrow bed. Gently, he touched her hair. "You scared me M." He turned as the door opened and a young woman in a white coat walked in. "Hey doc. Can you tell me what's going on?"

She smiled. "She's going to be fine. We'll keep her sedated until the heroin has left her system. After that…Well that's up to her."

Happy nodded. "We'll get her cleaned up."

He waited in silence, stroking Mona's hair, until Dee arrived. He watched as she pulled up the other chair. It was hard to believe they were sisters. Mona was a fair skinned blonde, whereas Dee was dark haired with olive skin. Their personalities too, were poles apart. Mona had always been the party girl, desperate to be centre of attention. Dee, on the other hand, was quiet, studious, unobtrusive. She just blended into the background. Even when she had been with that asshole of a husband, no one knew the situation she had been in. It was only when Happy had seen the bruises on her neck and had pushed her, that she had admitted he was hitting her. Happy, of course, had put a stop to that in his usual 'Happy' way. No one got away with hurting the ones he loved.

Their eyes met and she smiled. "How long have you been here?"

He shrugged. "Lacy's at school. Thought it was best. Nowhere else for me to be, till she gets home."

She nodded. "I've decided to take a sabbatical, Lacy is going to need taking care of."

"Dee I…"

"Not up for discussion Hap. Mona needs to get on some sort of sober living programme. As soon as she's cleaned up, I'll go back to school."

"I wanna help."

"You can. Lacy's going to need you to be around. And financially. These programmes don't come cheap."

"There's a couple of jobs I can do. The money's good but it does mean I'll be away for a few days at a time."

"Okay, but make sure you make it clear to Lacy that you're not running out on her."

His lips turned up into a tiny smile. "You're a good girl, Dee."

* * *

Lacy sat in the back of DeeDee's car and jiggled around excitedly. Happy was coming home today. She missed mommy, but Happy and DeeDee had sat her down and explained that she had gone away to a special place where she could learn how to stop being sad. "DeeDee?"

"Yes Lacy?"

"Is Happy really coming home today?"

"He sure is."

Dee watched the little girl through her rear view mirror. As she had pointed out to Happy, Kids are resilient and as long as she was kept in the loop, Lacy would be fine. Her mother might be a deadbeat at times but she was still surrounded by people who loved her and wanted what was best for her.

"DeeDee?"

"Yeah?"

"Can we have a pizza and movie night?"

"Yeah, why not. But no mermaids. Happy hates mermaids."

Lacy giggled. "And pink, he really hates pink."

* * *

Happy leaned on the bar in the Charming clubhouse. He was really going to have to leave soon if he wanted to get back to Bakersfield before Lacy went to bed. Tig sauntered over. "You staying for the party, bro?"

"Nah. Wanna get back to Bakersfield 'fore it gets too late."

Tig nodded and they drank their beers in silence, until it was broken by Happy. "You got kids, right?"

Tig nodded. "Yeah, two girls."

"You see much of 'em?"

"Couple of times a year. Supervised visits, thanks to my crazy ass ex." Happy raised an eyebrow and Tig continued. "Bitch always knew what buttons to press. Pushed me till I went for her in front of witnesses." He chuckled. "Not my smartest move."

"But your girls? You love 'em right?"

"No question." He frowned. "What's this about, Hap? You aint got some gash knocked up have ya? I thought you were always careful to keep your junk wrapped."

"Nah, man. Aint nothing like that." He lit a cigarette. "Got a girl in Bakersfield. She's got a kid. I guess I look on her as my own."

"You got an old lady?"

"She aint my old lady. It's… It's complicated." He shook his head. "It don't matter, forget it."

Tig gave a snort. "You really think I'm gonna let this drop now? You don't do 'complicated.' C'mon Hap. What's on your mind?"

"This girl, Mona. She's fucked up. Drugs, booze. You name it."

"So walk away. Gash like that is trouble."

"Can't."

"Cos of the kid?"

"Yeah."

"Aint your kid. Aint your problem."

Happy shook his head. "Like I said. It's complicated."

Tig watched as Happy turned on his heel and walked to the doors. He smiled to himself. He should be shocked that the Killa had got all bent out of shape over someone else's kid, but somehow he wasn't. Happy was loyal to a fault. If he had committed to this kid, he would stick by her. No one cared more about family than Happy Lowman and no one knew better than Happy that family was about more than DNA.

* * *

Lacy laid on the sofa, her head resting on Happy's thigh, trying and failing to keep her eyes open. She loved having DeeDee and Happy here. As much as she loved her mommy and she was sure her mommy loved her, they never had evenings like this, especially if Happy was around. But to lacy, snuggling up on the sofa with Happy and DeeDee, her belly full of pizza and ice cream and Toy story on the TV, was perfect. Her thumb found it's way into her mouth as she gave up the battle against sleep. "Hap?"

"Yes sugar?"

"I lub you."

"I love you too." He stroked her hair. "Think you should go and clean your teeth and get ready for bed."

"Can I stay here for a little while. Please Happy."

He sighed as he felt her tiny hand clutch at his jeans. "Okay sugar, just for a little while."

* * *

Mona sat with her back against the wall and closing her eyes, raised her face to the sun. She couldn't remember a time when she had felt this calm. She opened her eyes as she felt a shadow fall across her. "Happy."

He sat next to her on the wooden bench and looked out across the rose garden. "You okay M?"

"Yeah I am." She smiled. "I'm going home next week."

"Yeah so I heard. So why did you want to see me?"

"We need to talk." She took a deep breath. "Joe, my councillor, he thinks that my relationship with you is just another symptom of my self destructive behaviour. He thinks there should be some distance between us."

Happy said nothing, just looked out at the garden.

"Hap. Say something."

"Ma would love these flowers. She always wanted a proper garden."

"Happy, please."

"What do you want me to say M?"

"That you understand."

"Oh I understand just fine. You finally get your shit together and it's so long Happy. Who do you think is paying for all this?"

"Hap please don't be like this. You know what it's like between us." She took his hand. "I love you. But I can't jeopardise my recovery."

"What about Lacy?"

"I'll never come between you and her, you know that Hap." She sighed. "I'm not sure how we do this, but I do you want you to be part of her life, even if you can't be part of mine."

Happy swallowed. He knew she was right, he'd said the same thing himself. But hearing Mona say it, stung. It stung a lot.


	9. Chapter 9

I don't own sons of anarchy

NINE

They say time flies when you're having fun. If that was the case, the past two years must've been a bundle of laughs. Mona watched as her daughter greeted her friends as they arrived for her eighth birthday party.

She had been sober for two years now. It hadn't always been easy, but with the support of Dee, Yvonne and Happy, she had managed it. More difficult than giving up the drink and drugs, was giving up Happy. There had been the odd relapse, but they both eventually realised that were hurting one another and for the past six months they had managed to maintain some distance from each other. Now the only contact they had was when he came to see Lacy.

She would always feel guilty that her past behaviour had damaged her relationship with Lacy. Even now after two years of sobriety, there was still a distance between them. Her daughter would probably never fully trust her not to let her down.

The sound of excited children drifted through the open window as Yvonne applied her lipstick in preparation for Lacy's party. She allowed herself a small smile. She had been sceptical about how successful Mona's attempt at staying clean would be. It looked like she was proven wrong, and she couldn't be more pleased for her. Happy had visited regularly, always making a point to spend time with Lacy. Her relationship with her son remained the same as it always had been. Volatile. There were few people who refused to be intimidated by Happy, but Yvonne Lowman was one of them. If she thought he was in the wrong, she told him. Their latest fight had been over his decision to settle in Tacoma. She had tried every trick in the book, from accusing the club to emotional blackmail. At one point she actually threw his dinner at him. Nothing worked. He was adamant, Tacoma needed him.

It wasn't just her fear of being left alone that had prompted the fights, although, she wasn't getting any younger and was starting to be dogged with niggling little ailments. Her biggest fear was for Happy himself. He had always had a tendency towards violence and there was something cold and unfeeling about him. Something cruel. The only time it completely vanished from him was when he was with Lacy and if he was so far away from her, Yvonne feared that it would take him over completely. He had insisted though, that he would still visit regularly and that with his own apartment she could come and stay with him for a few days in the school holidays. She sighed. Lacy had accepted it, she guessed she would have to as well.

Lacy's friends followed her through to the back yard. She had never had her friends round for a birthday party and she could barely contain herself. Mommy didn't get sad now and she wasn't afraid about what she would find when she came down the stairs in the morning anymore.

DeeDee had moved back to Bakersfield after she finished school and worked down town in a fancy office. Lacy had been to see her there once or twice but thought it was really boring. Of course she still spent a lot of time with Nana Von. Wednesday nights were pizza and movie nights, when they would eat Nana's home made pizza and she could watch whatever she wanted on TV.

As she played with her friends, she was only half listening to their conversation. The other half of her was listening out for the sound of a Harley coming down the road. Her day would be perfect if Happy came. He hadn't said he would, but still she hoped.

To Lacy, Happy was still a hero. Maybe not quite as perfect as she thought he was when she was just a baby, but a hero none the less. She knew he was going to live in Tacoma and that it was quite a long way away. Nana Von had got mad and had cried when she thought no one was looking. But he had promised that they would still see each other and that she could go and stay with him. Lacy liked the sound of that, but mommy wasn't keen. She didn't really understand why mommy was acting weird around Happy. Especially since she got a new boy friend that they had to keep a secret for some reason. Soon though, all thoughts of Happy disappeared as they played games and tucked into party food. DeeDee showed up in time to see her blow out her candles. It was an almost perfect day.

"So have you told Happy about your new guy?" Dee leaned on the wall with Mona, watching the festivities.

"Who I'm seeing has nothing to do with Happy."

"It does if he's planning on whisking you across the country." Dee frowned. "You haven't even told Lacy have you?"

"Dee, please. She'll find out soon enough."

Dee shook her head. When Happy found out Mona was planning on going to Florida, he was going to flip.

Happy parked the truck out side his ma's house. He guessed she would still be round Mona's. Letting himself into her house, he headed into the kitchen and helped himself to a beer. There was no way he was going round to Mona's while the party was going on. He loved Lacy but not that much.

He had only been there a short while when his ma walked in. "Happy!" She hugged him warmly. "What you doing hiding in here?"

"You really have to ask, ma?"

She chuckled. "I guess not. Don't worry, the party will soon be over. Lacy will be thrilled to see you."

Lacy waved as the last of her guests drove away. As she turned her eyes fell on the one person she really wanted to see. "Happeeee!" She giggled with delight as he picked her up and spun her round. She looked over to where the truck was parked. "Why you got the truck?"

"As if you didn't know. Why don't you go and look in the back."

She ran to the truck and came to a halt with a gasp. "A bike! Thank you, thank you." Her grin was so wide it could probably be seen from space as he set it on the ground. "Oh wow this is the best present ever. And it's pink. You are so cool, Happy."

"I know." He frowned. "You do know how to ride a bike?"

"I am eight you know."

Mona came out and stood next to him as he watched her daughter ride up and down the street. "Thanks Hap. She's been wanting a bike for ages."

"I gathered that. The hints she's been giving haven't exactly been subtle." He turned and resisted the urge to touch her. "You look great, M."

"Hap." She swallowed. Were these feeling ever going to go away. "Please, don't."

"I'll be at ma's. Send Lacy round when she's done." He turned and marched to this ma's house. Even now, after all this time, it killed him to be close to her.

Yvonne smiled as he walked back in. "Lacy like her present?"

"Loves it. Listen ma." He sat down at the table and pulled out a cigarette. "I've decided to put off patching into Tacoma for a few months. Charming is thin on numbers at the moment, with both Otto and Opie in the joint and they're spreading themselves a bit thin. I'm not patching in there but I will be sticking around for a while."

Yvonne smiled and kissed the top of his head. "I'm so glad. Have you told Lacy?"

"Not yet. Like I said. It's only temporary. Kozic is going to Tacoma instead, seeing as him and Tig can't be in the same room as each other. I'll be using his apartment for now."

"How does Herman feel about that? He always loved Charming." She smiled. "I always liked Herman. Is he still clean?"

"Yeah, pretty much. He's slipped a couple of times, but I'd say he's got it under control."

"Good to hear." She looked up. "Hi sweetheart. How's the bike?"

"It's the best. Jenny is going to be so jealous." She climbed into Happy's lap. "Can we take it to the park?"

"In the morning, sugar."

"You staying here tonight?"

"If Nana Von will let me."

"Course she will. Hap?"

"Yes sugar?"

"Will you put me to bed and read me a story."

"Aint you a bit old for bedtime stories. Now you're eight and all."

"No. I've got the chronicles of Narnia."

"Wow, I can hardly contain my excitement."

"Happy…" She rolled her eyes. "If you read to me, I'll give you some of my cake."

"Is it pink?"

"A bit. You could always eat it with your eyes closed."

"Yeah I'll do that. Why don't you go and get yourself ready for bed, and I'll be round in a bit."

Okay. Hap?"

"Yes sugar?"

"I really love my bike."

"Glad to hear it."

"Hap?"

"Yeah?"

"And I love you."

"Love you too, sugar. Now go and get ready for bed."


	10. Chapter 10

I don't own sons of anarchy

TEN

Happy sat on the park bench, smoking a cigarette, watching as Lacy rode around the duck pond, a huge smile on her face. He grinned as she approached him. "You having fun sugar?"

She nodded. "This is the best bike ever." She climbed off and laid it carefully on the ground before joining him on the bench. "Can we get a hotdog, please?"

"Sure." He waited until she was back on her bike then followed her to the hotdog vendor. His heart swelled as he watched her. If he had been told, all those years ago that his cold heart would be stolen by another man's kid, he would have said it could never happen. It wasn't that he didn't like kids, it was just that they never figured in his life. Only Lacy had managed to worm her way under his skin. From the first time she's opened those baby blue eyes and smiled at him, he was smitten. Mona had never said who her father was, and he wondered vaguely if it was someone he knew. He shrugged. Whoever it was clearly wasn't on the scene and he couldn't help feeling a tiny bit sorry for him. Who wouldn't want a daughter like Lacy.

"C'mon Hap!" Lacy waited impatiently for him to catch up with her. She sighed as he rounded the corner. "I'm starving."

"You're always starving." Happy chuckled. She had always been skinny and suddenly she was shooting up like a weed. It looked like she was going to be tall and blonde like her mom. Another real beauty. "Ketchup and mustard?" He shook his head as she smothered the dog. "Disgusting."

Ignoring him she bit into the hotdog and watched him as he ate his own. She loved it when she got to spend the day alone with Happy. It didn't happen that often, usually they would stay round Nana Von's or DeeDee would come out with them for the day. That was good too. But having Happy all to herself was best of all. She wandered back to her bike, wiping her fingers on the napkin and throwing it in the bin. "Maybe you should get a bike, Hap."

"Nah, don't think so, sugar. I like my bikes to have engines."

"Can I have a motorbike when I get older?"

"That's something you'll have to take up with your mom."

"You could teach me how to ride. It would be fun."

"Tell you what, sugar. We'll have this conversation again when you're seventeen."

"Will you still love me when I'm seventeen."

"I'll always love you." Happy frowned, he knew that expression. Something was bothering her. "You gonna tell me what's going on in that head of yours?"

Lacy shook her head. She was worried that when happy found out about Rob, her mom's new boyfriend, he wouldn't come round any more. She really wanted to talk to Happy about it but mommy had told her she mustn't. She climbed back on her bike. "Can we go to the swings?"

"Sure." Happy followed as she sped off. Something was definitely going on. As much as he didn't want to, it looked like he and Mona were going to have to have a little chat.

"Hi sweetheart. Did you have fun." Mona looked up from her book as Lacy breezed in, followed closely by Happy. "Hap?"

"Can we talk?"

"Sure. Lacy why don't you go put a DVD on. Me and Happy need to have a little chat."

Lacy did as she was asked. Happy frowned as she seemed to shrink into herself a little. "It's Okay, sugar. We wont yell."

Mona led him out into the back yard. "Something wrong?"

"Not sure." He shrugged. "Lacy seems bothered about something, but she aint saying what."

Mona sighed. It was almost impossible to keep things from Happy. She had no idea how he did it, but he could read people better than anyone else she knew. "I've met someone."

"Oh."

"He's nice, kind. Not like…."

"Me?"

She shook her head. "I don't love him like I love…loved you. But I like him." She looked at her hands. "I think Lacy's scared you wont wanna stick around if there's another man on the scene."

Happy took a deep breath and lit a cigarette. "He treat you and Lacy okay?"

"Yeah. Like I said, he's kind."

"And Lacy. Does she like him?"

"Yeah. She says she does."

"If he hurts either of you, I will kill him." He stood up and walked back into the house. "Lacy?" He sat on the floor, next to her. "Your mom told me about her new boyfriend."

"Oh. Are you mad?"

"Of course not. You like him?"

"He's okay." She kept her eyes downcast.

"It's okay sugar. It's good that you like him."

"I love you, though." She shuffled closer, so her body was pressed close to him. "I love you best of all."

"Good to hear, sugar." He gently stroked her hair. "I love you too." Kissing the top of her head, he stood up. "I'm gonna have to go, sugar. Take care."

"Hap?"

"Yes sugar?"

"You will still come and see me?"

"You just try keeping me away."

Yvonne smiled as her son walked in and kissed her on the cheek. "hey ma."

"Hey. Did lacy have fun?"

"Yeah." He took the coffee she offered and sat at the table. "Did you know Mona had a new guy?"

"Mona has a boy friend? No I had no idea." She cocked her head. "Did Lacy tell you?"

"Nah. I think Mona had told her to keep it quiet. Kid thought if I found out I'd bail."

"And will you?"

"Ma!"

"I'm sorry." She shook her head. "I really should have more faith in you."

He gave a short, humourless laugh. "Why change the habits of a lifetime."

"Harsh, son." She grinned. "You going to eat before you leave?"

"Sure."

It was dark by the time he got back to Charming and the clubhouse was practically empty. Only Juice and Chibs, playing pool and Tig with his face buried in the ample breasts of a buxom brunette. Chibs looked up as he walked in. "Happy!"

"Hey." He greeted his brothers and headed for the bar.

Tig looked up. "Did the kid like her bike?"

Happy grinned broadly. Something Tig noticed he only did when talking about Lacy. "Kid fucking loved it."

Tig grabbed them both a beer and sent the croweater on her way.

Happy was the most private of his brothers, but over the past couple of years had opened up a little to him about the kid. Tig felt he was getting a rare glimpse of the killer's humanity. Something he felt privileged to witness.


	11. Chapter 11

I don't own sons of anarchy

ELEVEN

Happy loved Vegas. The charter clubhouse was just off the strip, and was by far the biggest and most palatial. The front of the building was a lap dancing club, open to the general public while the sons entered through a door at the end of a dark alley, into the private part of the building. As far as he was concerned, it was an ideal set up. And as for the pussy, well they were just top class. He sat on the old leather sofa in a darkened corner of the clubhouse, a large Jack in his hand as the leggy blonde straddled him, grinding her pussy onto his hardening cock. Yep, it was days like this when Happy loved being a son. He looked over to where Jax and a Vegas son he didn't know, slugged it out in the ring and his eyes met those of Tig and he gave a nod. As soon as he'd fucked this blonde beauty, he would get in the ring and kick his favourite sparring partner's ass.

The party they were attending was to celebrate the fiftieth birthday of the charter president and it was good to be able to just kick back and have some fun. All too often Happy, as a nomad and go to guy for any really unpleasant jobs that needed doing, only visited charters on 'business'. He didn't mind, in fact he loved that he was able to do what he did for the club. But like his fellow sons, what he loved best was to ride and to party. He frowned as he cell buzzed and pushing the girl off him, he pulled it out of his pocket and checked the ID. "Ma?" He swallowed the feeling of dread, she never called out of the blue. "What's up?"

"Happy. You need to come home. It's Lacy. She's disappeared."

"I'm on my way." He hung up. Right now he didn't need details and his throat was too dry to speak anyway.

Tig looked over as Happy hurried to the door. He could tell, even from that distance that something was very wrong. Getting to his feet, he followed his brother. "Hap?"

Happy turned at the sound of his voice. "Gotta get to Bakersfield. It's Lacy. She's vanished."

Tig nodded and ran to his own bike. "I'm coming with. You shouldn't ride alone."

It took just over three house to get to Bakersfield. Tig was surprised that one of them hadn't ended up getting scraped up off the asphalt. They pulled up outside Yvonne's house and Happy was off his bike and heading up the garden path as soon as he'd killed the engine.

As soon as she heard the bikes, Yvonne opened the front door. "Oh Happy." She threw her arms around his neck.

He returned the hug then pushed her away from him so he could look her in the eye. "What's going on?"

"She was upset and took off. We've looked everywhere. There's no sign of her."

"Upset? Why?"

"Does it matter? We need to find her. It's nearly midnight." She looked up as Tig followed Happy up the path. "It's Tig right?"

He smiled and kissed her cheek. "I'm flattered you remember me." He turned to Happy. "Why don't you go and talk to Lacy's mom, I'll wait here and we can talk strategy when you get back."

He and Yvonne went and sat in her cozy kitchen. She patted his hand. "Thank you for looking out for him."

"It's what we do. Hap thinks the world of that little girl, an' he wont rest until he finds her." He frowned. "You gonna tell me why she was upset?"

"They're leaving. Mona's new boyfriend is moving them to Florida."

"Fuck! Hap's gonna lose his shit."

They both looked up as Happy stormed in, slamming the door behind him. "Did you know about this?" He leaned over his mother.

She'd never been scared of her son, but right now Yvonne was sure he was capable of killing her. "Of course not. If Lacy hadn't take off, I wouldn't know now."

He spun on his heel and marched outside, followed closely by Tig. "Hap? You know where she is?"

"I got a pretty good idea." He climbed on his bike and, as soon as Tig was mounted, he sped off.

Lacy was cold, and if she was honest, a little afraid. The old forgotten orchard was a magical place in daylight when she was picking apples from the trees with Happy. She had remembered him telling her that it was here that he had hid out when he was a kid and he wanted to bunk off school. She had known that no one would be able to find her. It was a secret place behind an old burned out retirement home, only accessible by lifting a loose panel in the corrugated iron fence. She shivered and hugged her knees, trying to block out the strange noises that surrounded her. She didn't care how scary it was, she wasn't going back. They couldn't make her move to Florida. Away from Nana Von, away from her school friends, away from Happy. Suddenly, a familiar sound split the air. Lacy smiled. Happy was here.

Tig scowled as Happy lifted the loose panel. "Couldn't you have just told them where she would be? Saved us the best part of a three hundred mile trip."

"To be honest, it never crossed my mind until Mona told me what had happened." He climbed through the gap. "Kid's hiding out. Don't wanna be found." He straightened up. "Lacy! Get your skinny ass out here now!"

It was pitch black. Tig pulled out his lighter. "Fuck, Hap. Didn't it occur to you to bring a torch?"

Happy shrugged. "Lacy! C'mon sugar. I know you're here."

"Happy?" It was a tiny voice from the bushes. Tig lifted his lighter and she stepped forward. "I'm sorry. Are you mad at me?"

Happy crouched down and pulled her into his arms. "I'm fucking furious. Promise me you'll never pull a stunt like that again."

Sobbing loudly she threw her arms around his neck. "I don't wanna go to Florida."

"I know, sugar. Aint too keen on the idea myself." He buried his face in his hair. "It don't mean you can go running off, scaring the shit outta everyone."

Tig shook his head and climbed back through the fence. "C'mon, bro. Let's get her home. It's late and the kid's gotta be freezing." He pulled off his hoodie and as she came through the fence, wrapped it round her. "Hi sweetheart. I'm Tig."

Lacy gave a tiny smile and looked up at happy. "You really do know someone called Tigger."

Happy chuckled and put his helmet on her head and tightened the strap, before sitting her on his bike and climbing on in front of her. "Hang on tight, sugar. Lets get you home."

Mona was pacing up and down Yvonne's kitchen, when her phone rang. "Hello?"

"M, I got her. Be there in five."

"Thank you." She sobbed as her knees buckled and she sank to her knees.

Yvonne pulled out her cell. "I'll phone the cops, tell them she's turned up." She shook her head. "Just wait till I see that little madam. I'll tan her hide."

"No you wont. This is my fault. I handled it all wrong."

"Yes you did. Happy isn't going to let you off lightly, you know that don't you?"

"This has nothing to do with Hap. Lacy aint his kid. This move will mean a promotion for Rob and the chance of a better life for me and Lacy."

They both looked up as Happy, Lacy and Tig walked in.

Mona swept her daughter into her arms. "Oh baby, you scared me so much. Don't ever do that again."

Lacy stuck out her bottom lip, refusing to meet her mom's eyes. "I don't wanna go to Florida." Two fat tears rolled down her cheeks and she turned to Happy. "Tell her, Hap."

Happy shook his head and picked her up, his eyes meeting Mona's. "How about I put you to bed here and Nana Von will bring you up some milk and a sandwich."

"Okay. Hap?"

"Yes sugar."

"Will you stay tonight?"

"Sure."

"And Tig?"

"And Tig."

"Hap, where will he sleep if I stay here?"

"He can crash on the sofa."

"Okay." She buried her face into his shoulder and closed her eyes. "I think I might like Tigger. He has kind eyes."

Happy shook his head as Tig gave a crazy ass grin. "Smart kid."

"Lacy, sugar." He carried her upstairs. "Tig does not have kind eyes."

"Whatever." She yawned. "I love you Hap."

"Love you too, sugar."

Lacy was asleep as soon as her head hit the pillow. Happy kissed her forehead and made his way down stairs.

"Hap…" Mona stood as soon as he walked into the lounge.

"Not here. We'll have this conversation next door." Without checking whether or not, she was following, he turned and marched outside. Tig and Yvonne exchanged a glance and Tig frowned. "You think he'll hurt her?"

Yvonne shook her head. "Oh he'll yell, but he'll never lay hands on her."

Tig nodded. "They need to sort something out. Losing that kid is gonna kill him."


	12. Chapter 12

I don't own sons of anarchy

TWELVE

Mona followed Happy into her house and braced herself for the onslaught she knew was coming. "Hap. Please, before you say anything. You have to listen to me."

"I'm listening."

He was so calm. It was more terrifying than if he had been angry. She took a deep breath. "This move, it's good for us. A fresh start. Lacy will make new friends. The school we're planning on sending her to has an excellent reputation and the house is in a good neighbourhood, with lots of young families." She touched his chest. "I know she's scared and maybe I shouldn't have sprung it on her like that. But change is always scary, Hap. She'll get over it." She fell silent, waiting for him to say something. "Hap?"

"Sounds like you got it all sown up." He reached out and ran his fingers through her hair. "Why you really doing this?"

"I told you."

"Yeah, fresh start, yada yada." He grabbed a handful of her hair and pulled, forcing her head back, so she had no choice but to look in his eyes. "This man. You love him? Is that it?" His lips curled into a sneer as she closed her eyes. "Thought not. Must be his money then." Abruptly he let go of her hair and turned away from her. "You can wrap this up however you want, Mona. Fresh start, good neighbourhood, fancy school for Lacy. But we both know that this is bullshit. You always were a selfish bitch."

"So I want a better life for me and Lacy. What's wrong with that?"

"Lacy. Ha! Since when have you wanted what was best for her? You'll never change."

"I love Lacy."

"I don't doubt it. In your own twisted, selfish way you do. But you love yourself more. Whether it's sticking a needle in your arm or chasing some rich guy's money across the country. It's always been about you." He laughed. "I bet you got that sad fuck wrapped round your finger, just like you did with me. Poor little Mona, she can't help fucking up. But it's okay there's always some sucker to pick up the pieces. What happens when he sees you for what you are? Cos he will M. An' I'm betting he aint as dumb as me. It wont take him more than twenty years to see you for the selfish, manipulative bitch that you are."

She slapped him so hard, her hand stung. Mona gasped as, quick as a rattle snake, his hand shot out and grabbed her throat. "I'll give you that one, a free pass. But I wont take back what I said." His hand dropped and he sat heavily on the sofa. "Lacy don't give a shit about fancy schools or good neighbourhoods. If you had wanted to give her the best start in life, you wouldn't have done all the shit you did. I swear to you, Mona. If you take her away from me I will never forgive you."

"She aint your kid, Happy. You don't get a say." She was pissed now. "How is hanging around with a criminal, a murderer, for fuck's sake, better than a new life in Florida."

"You never had a problem with it before. I guess you don't need my money now." He stood back up and started to pace up and down the small lounge. "She might not be my blood. But I couldn't love that kid more if she was my own. An' what about Ma? Or Dee. They love her too. Please Mona, for once in your life, do the right thing." Even as he said it, Happy knew he was wasting his time. Mona was going to take his sugar away.

Mona watched as he walked slowly to the front door. She didn't think she'd ever seen him look so defeated. "Hap. It is for the best."

"You keep telling yourself that sweetheart."

Tig was lounging on the sofa as Happy walked back in. He didn't need to ask how things went. "She still breathing bro?"

Happy gave a shrug. "Probably be better if she weren't. I'm gonna head up to bed." With a heavy heart he headed upstairs and laid on his narrow, childhood bed, trying and failing to get some sleep.

The rest of the house was still asleep when Happy snuck out at the crack of dawn. He loved riding early in the morning, the only sound was the roar of his bike, no other traffic. Just him and his Harley in the early morning sun, heading downtown in the vague hope that there was something he could do to ease the pain of separation.

It would be a while until anything was open, but he needed this time to clear his head. He knew Lacy was looking to him to make things right, and, not for the first time, he was going to let her down. As he sped along the city streets he spotted a diner opening it's doors. Maybe with coffee and food inside him, he would be better equipped to break her the bad news.

Lacy was woken by the growling in her stomach and the delicious smell of bacon. She was surprised to find only Tig and Nana Von in the kitchen. "Where's Happy?"

Tig smiled. Happy was wrong, he did have kind eyes. "He went out early. Don't look so worried, sweetheart, he'll be back soon."

"Okay." She climbed onto the chair next to him and gave a tiny smile as Nana Von put a plate of bacon and scrambled egg in front of her. She swallowed the urge to cry and forced the food down. She wasn't sure exactly how far away Florida was, but she knew they were going by plane. Lacy was terrified she would never see her family again. "Nana Von?" It was barely a whisper.

"Yes sweetheart?"

"When I go to Florida. Will you come to visit."

"As often as I can."

"And DeeDee?"

"Of course." Yvonne gave a little smile. Dee had told her she was looking into a transfer to Miami, but she didn't want to get Lacy's hopes up. She waited for the little girl to continue.

Lacy took a deep breath. Ah here it came. "An' Happy?"

"Yes baby girl. And Happy."

Tig watched the exchange with interest. He didn't really know Happy's mom at all, having only met her once when they had stopped off at her place while on a run. He knew though, from what Happy had said, that she was a tough old broad and he guessed that she and her son were cut from the same cloth. She clearly loved the kid as much as Happy did and judging by that little exchange, the feeling was mutual. He stepped outside for a cigarette and Yvonne followed him. "You're going to have to watch out for him, Tig."

"I know."

She ran her hand across her brow. "I've got a real bad feeling about all this."

Tig said nothing, just stood looking out across the barren yard. He had a bad feeling too. And his feeling were rarely wrong.

Happy parked his bike and let himself into his ma's house. Tig and Yvonne were still outside and Lacy was sitting at the table pushing a piece of bacon around her plate. He snuck up behind her and snatched it of her plate. "Hey, I was eating that."

"Didn't look like it sugar." He sat in the chair that Tig had vacated and put a bright pink cell phone in front of her. "This is for you. If you want to talk to me, just press one and that key, there. You can call me whenever you want, and if I can't answer, I promise I will call you back as soon as I can."

"Okay. Thank you." She picked up the phone. "Mommy said I was too young for a phone."

"Don't give a shit what your mom said, sugar."

She smiled. "Hap?"

"Yes sugar?"

"Will you come and see me in Florida."

"I'll do my best." He kissed the top of her head. "It don't matter how far away you are, I'll always love you."

She sniffed loudly and roughly brushed away a tear, she wasn't a kid that cried easily. "What if I never see you again?"

"You will, sugar. I promise."


	13. Chapter 13

I don't own sons of anarchy

THIRTEEN

Happy shut his cell and hurled his beer bottle across the clubhouse. Fucking Mona. Just when he thought she couldn't hurt him any more, she gave one more twist of the knife. He stalked out of the clubhouse towards his bike. "Juice."

"What d'ya need Hap?" Juice looked up from the bike he was working on.

"Call Greg. Get him to cover for me on tomorrow's run. I gotta go to Bakersfield."

Juice nodded and watched as Happy sped off the lot.

"Was that Happy?" Jax, leaned on the wall and lit a cigarette.

"Yeah, said to get Greg to cover for him, had to get to Bakersfield. Must be a problem with his mom."

Jax frowned. "Not like him to take off like that." Juice shrugged. It wasn't his business. And to be honest, the mood Happy had been in for the last week, he was secretly glad he wasn't joining them on tomorrow's run.

As Lacy dawdled behind her mom, her scowl deepened. It wasn't that she didn't like Rob, and she really didn't care whether her mom married him or not. But despite her liking for pink, she wasn't a girly girl and she really, really didn't want to wear a stupid frilly dress and be a stupid bridesmaid. She knew her mom was annoyed with her, but she couldn't help that she didn't want to move and she didn't see why she had to change her name. And no matter what they said there was no way she was going to call Rob 'daddy.' She didn't love Rob and he wasn't her daddy.

"Lacy. Hurry up, please." Mora frowned. "Most little girls would give their right arm to be a bridesmaid." She gritted her teeth as they walked towards the bridal salon. Little bitch better not try to sabotage this. Rob had explained that the company he worked for was old fashioned and looked more favourably on married employees and if Lacy had his name, it would mean embarrassing questions would be avoided when they started their new life.

Mona was more than happy to go along with this. He was well paid, from a respectable family and when she had first met him at the local church after one of her group sessions, she had thought there was no way he would show an interest in someone like her. He had surprised her, though. As far as he was concerned the past was the past. She was clean now and was turning her life around. That was good enough for him.

She smiled as she thought of her fiancé. He may not have set her world on fire like Happy did, but he was kind and he genuinely loved her. He offered her the kind of future Happy never could.

Yvonne paced up and down her small kitchen. As soon as Happy had called, she knew that Lacy had told him what was going on. This was not going to be pretty. Her pacing stopped as a Harley pulled onto her driveway and her son stormed into her house. "Happy."

"Hey, ma." The hug was perfunctory. "Did you know about this?"

"Not till Lacy came in this morning in tears. Poor kid. It's all getting too much for her."

Happy sank onto the sofa. "Sonofabitch wants her to call him daddy."

"I know. That's what upset her the most." She sat next to her son. "You're going to have to be careful how you handle this Hap."

Happy shrugged. He hadn't given any thought about what he was going to do. Lacy had been upset and he had just jumped on his bike without another thought. Shit. What was happening to him? Happy Lowman was not impulsive. This shit was getting to him as much as it was to Lacy.

Mona scowled as she pulled onto her driveway and spotted Happy's bike next door. Her daughter gave a squeal of delight and was out of the car and running towards Yvonne's house before she'd even killed the engine. Goddamned Happy, and that goddamned phone. She should have made Lacy throw it away.

Lacy let herself into Nana Von's house and ran into the lounge. "Happy! I didn't think you'd come." She climbed into his lap and hugged him tightly.

Happy didn't answer, he just held her tight and savoured the moment. Eventually He cleared his throat. "Lacy. Why don't you tell me what's going on."

"He aint my dad, Hap." She sniffed. "An' my name's Miller, not Hunter. I don't wanna be his kid."

"You don't have to be, sugar."

"But mommy said…"

"I don't give a shit what your mommy said. You want me to talk to her?"

"No I jus' want to you to stay here with me."

"Okay, sugar." Mona could wait.

Unnoticed by Happy and Lacy, Yvonne slipped outside to the little house next door. Heading round the back, she let herself into the kitchen where Mona was preparing dinner. "Think you and me need to have a little talk."

Mona frowned. "I don't have anything to say to you."

"Well it's me or Happy, sweetheart. Take your pick."

With a resigned sigh, the younger woman walked slowly into the lounge and sat down. "Just say what you've got to say."

Yvonne sat in the armchair opposite her and folded her hands in her lap. "I aint judging you, Mona. If you want to tie yourself to a man you don't love, that's your affair." She straightened up. "But when your actions hurt Lacy, then I have to step in. I'm sure you think you're doing what's right, but she don't love Rob and he's not her daddy. Please Mona, back off the kid."

"Why, what's the matter? You precious son feeling threatened?"

"Oooh now you are way out of line lady." Yvonne stood and leaned over her. "I don't pretend that Happy is an angel, and I know he's done some bad shit in his time. But he loves that little girl of yours and all he wants is for her to be happy."

"Well Rob thinks their relationship is inappropriate."

Happy may never raise a hand to her, but Yvonne had no such compunction. She slapped Mona hard across the cheek. "How dare you. You should thank your lucky stars that I don't plan on passing that information on to Hap. Cos if I did, I doubt very much that either of you would be breathing for much longer."

"I…I didn't mean…" Suddenly the resemblance between mother and son was glaringly obvious. "I know Hap wouldn't ever do anything to hurt her."

"And don't you forget it."

Mona took a deep breath. "I wont. I'm sorry."

Happy and Lacy were snuggled up on the sofa, watching TV, when she walked back in. Yvonne smiled. "Lacy, honey. How about I make some fajitas and you can stay here for your dinner."

"Okay." Lacy looked up. "Did you talk to mommy?"

"Yeah. I don't think Rob will mind if you don't call him daddy. Can't see of any way of getting you out of wearing a bridesmaid dress though."

"Okay." She closed her eyes and snuggled closer to Happy.

"Hap?"

"Yes sugar?"

"You love me?"

"You know I do."

"But you aint ever asked me to call you daddy."

"No."

"Why not?"

"Cos I aint your dad, sugar."

"So what are you then? You aint my dad and you aint my uncle."

"I'm your friend, sugar."

"Okay. Hap?"

"Yeah?"

"I wouldn't mind calling you daddy."

"That's sweet of you, but calling me Happy is just fine."


	14. Chapter 14

I don't own sons of anarchy

FOURTEEN

Lacy squirmed as yet another middle aged woman kissed her on the cheek and told her what a cutie she was. She didn't feel cute, she felt ridiculous. This stupid dress was too frilly, and, really, curls? Lacy's hair had never been curly. She dug her toe into the dirt as the photographer took more and more pictures. Apart from DeeDee, Nana Von and her friends Betty and Joan she didn't know anyone. All the other guests at the church were Rob's friends and family. She had begged and begged her mom to invite Happy but was told emphatically 'no.' She sniffed and blinked away a tear. Tomorrow, they would be flying to Florida and she was sure she would never see Happy again. She looked over to where her mom was standing with Rob,- there was no way she'd ever call him dad.- She looked happy, which she guessed was a good thing, and Rob was kind. He bought them both presents and never yelled like Happy did. He didn't give hugs like Happy did either, and told her she was too old for bedtime stories. Mommy never really hugged her either, maybe she'd never be hugged ever again.

The clubhouse was packed to the rafters. Sons from visiting charters filled the building prior to tomorrow's run to Vegas.

Happy rubbed the point between his eyebrows, trying and failing to rub away the pounding headache that had been a permanent fixture for the last couple of days. The rage inside him was building, he could feel it. Nothing he did would shift it. It had taken three brothers to pull him off the nomad he'd taken in the ring, the poor fuck wouldn't be making the run tomorrow and the beating he gave him did nothing to erase the rage that had lodged in his chest. He had to get out, away from the noise, away from the crowds. If one more person bumped into him, he swore he would rip their heart from their chest. Pushing himself away from the bar, he stalked outside to where his bike was parked. He needed to rid himself of the noise in his head and shake off the darkness that threatened to overwhelm him.

Happy feared nothing, but right now as he mounted his Dyna, he was afraid. The only woman he had ever loved was marrying another man and taking the single ray of light in his life away from him and without that ray of light, he was scared that the darkness would stay, lodged in his heart forever.

He hadn't planned on heading for Bakersfield, his ma had told him in no uncertain terms to stay away. He had to see them, just one more time. He wouldn't cause any trouble, he just wanted to say goodbye.

He knew that the wedding reception was being held at a fancy golf club on the outskirts of town. Pulling up outside his ma's he let himself in and left his cut hanging on the back of the chair in the kitchen. Even without it, he knew he was going to stick out like a sore thumb, and he didn't want to make things difficult for Mona. All he wanted was to touch her one more time and to give her daughter one last hug.

Lacy could hear a Harley. For the first time all day the grin on her face was genuine. Happy was coming! She ran from the marquee and down the long gravel driveway towards to the entrance. Happy grinned and killed the engine as she ran towards him. "Hey sugar, you look ridiculous." He picked her up and sat her on the back of his bike. "Hang on, Your mom will kill me if you fall off and rip that monstrosity you're wearing."

Lacy gripped Happy's hoodie and laughed out loud as he rode slowly towards the marquee. She knew her mom would be pissed, but she didn't care. Happy was family and he should have been invited all along.

Mona's heart lurched as the sound of Happy's bike reached her ears. Shit, she'd told him to stay away. Rob was going to flip. She rushed outside as he lifted her daughter off his bike. "Hap. What the fuck are you doing here?"

"I'm not here to cause any trouble, M. I just…."

"I know." Mona walked slowly towards him and touched him gently on the cheek. "It's for the best."

"Is it?" He swallowed, she had never looked more beautiful. "You know I never stopped loving you."

"I know. I never stopped loving you either. It's not enough though, is it?"

"No it aint." He turned to where Lacy stood, kicking at the gravel, her eyes downcast. "Lacy."

She looked up. Her eyes were glassy, full of tears.

"Lacy, sugar. You're gonna have a great life. You know you can call me whenever you like. And I will come see you. I promise."

"Okay."

He crouched down and pulled one of her stupid ringlets, smirking when it sprung back into place. "There's a McDonalds round the corner. Wanna happy meal?"

She smiled through her tears. "Sure."

He strapped his helmet onto her head and sat her back on his bike. Mona frowned. "Hap."

"I know, I'll be careful."

She grinned. Of course he would. She was the most precious cargo he would ever carry.

Rob frowned as his new wife walked back into the marquee. "Tell me that you haven't let Lacy go off with that biker scum."

"They've gone for a burger. She'll be fine. Happy will take good care of her." She shook her head as he puffed himself up with indignation. "I know you're not comfortable with Happy being around her. But she has known him all her life and she loves him. I'm not going to stop them spending her last night in Bakersfield together."

"Well once we get to Florida, she'll soon forget him."

Mona said nothing, but she knew he was wrong. You didn't forget Happy in a hurry.

Satisfied he had said his piece Rob returned to the celebrations. The sooner he got Mona and Lacy away from the white trash that she associated with, the better.

Happy and Lacy sat outside on the grass eating their burgers, both lost in their own thoughts. Happy never ceased to be amazed how she calmed him. All that noise in his head, all that rage disappeared the second he laid his eyes on her. Not for the first time, Lacy wished that Happy was her dad. She'd never asked who her real dad was and her mom had never mentioned him. The only man that had been a constant in her life was Happy.

"Hap?"

"Yes sugar?"

"Do you really think I'll have a great life?"

"Sure."

"I will miss you, though."

"I'll miss you too."

"Rob said I'd forget you. I wont though."

"I wont forget you either."

She fell silent and picked at the lace on her dress. Happy stroked her hair. "C'mon sugar. It'll be fine, you'll see."

"Okay. Hap?"

"Yes sugar?"

"Can I really call you whenever I want?"

"Any time at all. I told you, if I can't answer, I promise I will call you as soon as I can."

She nodded and rested her head against his arm. "I'm a bit scared, Hap."

"I know, sugar." He gave her a tiny squeeze. "To tell the truth, I'm a bit scared too."

"You? You aint scared of nothing, Hap."

"Yeah, me. I'm scared you'll forget all about me."

"I wont, Happy. I promise."

"Good to hear. C'mon lets get you back to this wedding."

Yvonne looked around. "Where's Lacy?"

Mona smiled. "With Happy."

"Oh Mona, I'm sorry. I told him to stay away. The last thing you need is him coming here causing trouble."

"It's okay, really."

They both turned as the subject of their conversation walked in. Happy stalked over to Yvonne and kissed her on the cheek. "It's okay ma, I aint staying." He bent and kissed Lacy on the top of her head. "Bye, sugar. I'll speak to you soon." Then turned and approached her new step father. "Rob."

"Happy, I presume."

"You presume right." Happy's lips curled up into a sneer. "That little girl and her mom mean everything to me. You hurt them, and I will kill you." He turned on his heel and climbing back onto his bike rode away, feeling the darkness embracing him once again.


	15. Chapter 15

I don't own sons of anarchy

FIFTEEN

Mona and Lacy stood, open mouthed as they gazed on their new house. Rob had said it was big, but neither of them had envisioned just how big. The kitchen alone was bigger than their entire former home. "So?" Rob grinned. "What do you think?"

"It's… Wow, it's huge." Mona placed her hand on her daughter's shoulder. "Do you like it, Honey?"

"Yeah, I guess." Lacy looked through the window. "Is that a pool?"

"Yeah. Want to take a swim?"

"In a bit. Where's my room?"

Rob led her through the house and up the widest staircase she had ever seen to her bedroom. "There you go, Lacy. Make yourself at home." He turned and left her alone to take in her surroundings. Like the rest of the house, the room was huge and Lacy felt a tiny bit intimidated. Maybe if it hadn't already been decorated and furnished she would have felt more comfortable. But clearly the person who had done this room, knew nothing about her, other than she was an eight year old girl. It was decorated in lilac and cream, with everything co-ordinated. She climbed onto her new bed, pulled out her phone and pressed one. "Happy?"

"Hey sugar." Happy stretched and, suppressing a yawn, glanced at the clock on the dresser. 7am, shit. Maybe he should have explained the time difference to her. "How do you like your new house?"

"It's okay. I guess."

"Just okay?"

"It's big, an' it's got a pool."

"Wow. That's good, right?"

"I guess."

Happy sighed and lit a cigarette. "Lacy, it is okay to like your new house."

"I know. But I don't. My room is too girly an' the bed's too big, an' mom said I couldn't keep my quilt cos it was tatty." She sniffed loudly. "How am I supposed to sleep without my quilt?"

"Hey, hey. C'mon, sugar." Happy could hear the hysteria growing in her voice. "All your stuff is still in your old house. Nana Von has a key, I'll get her to rescue your quilt and send it to you. Okay?"

"Okay. Hap?"

"Yes sugar?"

"I hate it here."

"Give it a chance, Lacy."

"Okay. Hap?"

"Yeah?"

"Can I call you tomorrow?"

"Sure sugar. Take care."

Happy laid back on the bed and closed his eyes. He really hoped that this new guy had Lacy's best interests at heart. Without someone fighting her corner, it would be easy for the kid to be overwhelmed and he doubted that Mona would be up to the task. With a sigh, he flipped open his cell. "M."

"Happy? Shit."

"I aint gonna cause trouble, Mona. But I just got off the phone with Lacy. Kid's freaking out."

"She's fine, Hap."

"No she aint. I'm gonna get ma to send her some of her stuff, make her feel more at home."

"She don't need all that old junk. Rob has promised to take her shopping, get a load of new stuff."

"I aint arguing with you over this, M. She needs familiar shit around her right now, not something that matches the décor." Happy shut the cell before he started to yell. Deciding there was no way he was going back to sleep, he climbed out of bed and headed for the shower. He had planned to spend the day working on his bike, but now it looked like he could get an early morning ride in as well.

Rob had not been impressed when, a few days later, Fed ex delivered two huge parcels to Lacy. She, however was delighted and happily spread the threadbare quilt across her bed then proceeded to hang the posters of Harleys on her pristine new walls. "This." He scowled as he picked up a moth eaten pooh bear by its ear. "Is down to that biker scum."

Mona said nothing as she watched the little girl give her first genuine smile in nearly a week. She frowned as her new husband marched into the room. "Lacy. What do you want all this junk for?"

"It's not junk. It's my stuff." Lacy stuck out her bottom lip and snatched pooh from his hands. "Happy bought this for me when I was a baby and Nana Von made the quilt."

"But I can buy you new stuff."

"Don't want new stuff."

"But the quilt's falling to bits and those posters make the walls look a mess. wouldn't you like some nice new pictures?"

"No, I like these." Lacy wasn't going to budge on this. It was her room and she would have it the way she wanted.

Rob shook his head and looked in the second box. "But you don't have to put up with tatty old broken toys anymore. I can get you nice new ones."

Lacy sighed as she placed her Barbie horse on the dresser. She had cried and cried when she had broken its leg off, but Happy had fixed it with duct tape and it was fine now as long as she was careful. She didn't really play with it much any more, but it was a present from Happy so she kept it. "It's okay, I don't like shopping, much."

"Lacy, is this just stuff that Happy gave you?"

She frowned. "No. Of course not. This." She pulled out a chipped ceramic rabbit. "Belonged to an old lady called Rita, she gave it to me when she went into a home. DeeDee gave me the fluffy owls when we went to the zoo." She continued to rummage through the boxes, ignoring Rob's glare. It may have looked like junk to him, but to Lacy, these were precious memories.

Mona touched her husband's arm. "She needs this, Rob. This has been a massive upheaval for her."

He sighed. "I suppose it has." He followed her back down the stairs. He would have to let this go for now.

The Tacoma clubhouse was quiet as Happy walked through to the dorms at the back. He would try to get a decent night's sleep before heading across the border in the morning for the protection run with Quinn and a couple of Tacoma guys. After depositing his bag on the bed, he headed back to the bar for a beer. Kozic was leaning with his back against the bar, showing off his new sergeant at arms patch. Happy grinned. "Wassup, serg?"

"Same old, bro." Kozic passed him a beer. "You doing the Canadian run tomorrow?"

"Yeah."

"Well watch yourself. Couple of trucks have been hit recently."

Happy nodded. This was old news. It was also why Quinn had asked specifically for him. He was sure any of the sons could have done the job, but the nomad president was extremely paranoid and Happy was one of only a few peopled he trusted to have his back. As he took a pull on his beer, his cell vibrated. "Hey sugar. Did Nana Von send that stuff?"

"Yeah. My room looks much better now."

"Good to hear. So how's your new school? Do not use cuss words."

"I wasn't going to."

"So you like it?"

"No. There aint any boys, I have to wear a stupid uniform and the girls are bitches." She sighed and Happy chuckled. "And mom said if I punch any of them, she'll ground me till I'm seventeen."

"Don't get caught then sugar."

"Haaaap. They'll rat me out."

"Guess you'll have to suck it up then."

"S'not fair, Hap. I hate being a kid."

"Life rarely is. I gotta go Lacy. I'm gonna be on the road for a couple of days, so I'll call you next weekend, okay?"

"Okay. Bye Hap."

"Bye sugar."

Kozic raised an eyebrow as Happy hung up. "That Mona's kid?"

"Yeah."

"They okay?"

"I guess." Happy frowned. Since when did Kozic show an interest in Mona and Lacy. As far as he knew he had only met Mona a couple of times, years ago, and had never met her daughter.

The doors opened and Quinn marched in dragging the cold air behind him and Happy pushed any thoughts of Mona and Lacy to the back of his head as he followed his president into the chapel to discuss the upcoming run.


	16. Chapter 16

I don't own sons of anachy

SIXTEEN

Without doubt, this had been one of the worst runs Happy had ever experienced. The rain had been relentless and visibility was practically nonexistent. It was cold too. Bitterly cold. Happy was beginning to wonder if he'd ever feel his face again. With no shelter in sight and a mere thirty miles to their destination, the little convoy of four bikes and one truck, had no choice but to push on.

Gritting his teeth, he looked over to his president. As usual Quinn looked unaffected by the biting wind and driving rain. Happy guessed the big Alaskan was made of tougher stuff that his puny Californian companions.

No one was expecting an ambush, least of all Happy. If he was honest, all he could concentrate on was keeping his bike upright and tying to stave off hypothermia and as a result was completely blindsided when the black van came from nowhere forcing his bike towards the big eighteen wheeler. As he tried to right himself he was aware in his peripheral vision of a bike going down, and the sound of gunfire. He couldn't get to his gun-his jacket was zipped up tight and he couldn't feel his hands- not that it would have made any difference as the van, again, swerved towards him, clipping his front wheel. He was losing it! Every instinct told him to hang on, but as he started to slide towards the wheels of the truck, self preservation took over and he threw himself away from his beloved Dyna and rolled to safety as it disappeared under the big rig's wheel with a sickening sound of twisting metal.

He was alive. Of that, Happy was acutely aware. Death would be a lot less painful. He lay, face down in the road and tried to assess his injuries. His left arm and shoulder were fucked, possibly his collar bone too. There was pain in his left hip, but he thought that was probably superficial, nothing broken. His face too, seemed to have taken a hit, although it was too numb to gauge. More worrying was the pain in his abdomen, deep inside. He coughed, tasting blood. If he didn't get help soon, he was going to die right here on the side of the road in this godforsaken country in the rain. He closed his eyes, too cold and tired to fight, only vaguely aware of a battle taking place around him and someone shouting his name over and over again.

Warm. He was warm, and definitely not dead. With a groan, he forced open his eyes.

"Happy, brother. Welcome back." Quinn grinned. "Big help you were."

"Sorry, Prez." Happy croaked then groaned as fire invaded his guts.

Quinn chuckled. "That's okay, man. Fuckers got the jump on us. Managed to fight 'em off. We're all whole." He laughed again. "Apart from your bike that is. Sorry bro, we couldn't save it."

Happy closed his eyes. "Shit."

The door opened and a young woman in scrubs walked in. "Good morning Mr Lowman. I'm Dr Jameson." She smiled. "You've been remarkably lucky. You had a ruptured spleen which we had to remove and some abdominal tearing which will heal in good time. You've also got a dislocated shoulder and a compound fracture of the ulna, both of which we've managed to fix. Everything else is superficial, just a bit of road rash and bruising. In a couple of months you'll be back on your bike, as good as new."

"Thanks doc." Quinn winked and gave her his best grin, causing her to blush a pretty shade of pink. "When can we get him out of here?"

"Oh he should be fit to travel in a couple of days or so, as long as he takes it easy."

Happy lay, eyes closed, in a world of pain. He had a busted arm, his guts were on fire and his bike had been destroyed. How was that lucky? As if reading his thoughts, Quinn laid a hand on his shoulder. "You aint dead, Hap. Count your blessings."

He was right of course. He could easily have met his maker under the wheels of that truck, but he had survived to fight another day.

* * *

As Lacy climbed out of her mom's car after yet another awful day at school, she failed to notice the nondescript, silver Honda parked on the other side of the road. She didn't even look up at the sound of a car door slamming. Not much caught her attention these days. Mom had enrolled her in ballet classes, but she had two left feet, and she had joined the tennis club but she really wasn't sporty. Lacy liked to ride her bike and climb trees, not dance around in a tutu of mess around on a tennis court. It had been two months and she still hated her life here. She missed her school friends, missed DeeDee and missed Nana Von. Most of all though, she missed Happy.

"Hey sugar."

"Happy?" Lacy spun round. "Happy!" She ran towards him, as fast as her feet would carry her.

Laughing as she launched herself at him and pulled her close using only his right arm. "Hey sugar." He buried his face in her hair. "Pleased to see me?"

Laughing and crying in equal measure, Lacy threw her arms around his neck, causing him to grunt in pain. "What did you do to your arm?" She noticed the plaster that encased it.

"Came off my bike, sugar. Cant ride for a while, so I thought I'd fly out and see you." He looked up and his eyes met Mona's. "I'm staying in a motel down town for a few days. I aint here to stir up shit."

Mona smiled. "I know. But, please Hap, stay out of Rob's way." She looked down at her daughter. "Maybe Hap could take you out for supper or something."

Happy nodded and held out his hand to the little girl. "Wanna happy meal, sugar?"

Taking his hand she nodded and let him lead her to the little hire car across the road. "I don't know where a McDonalds is."

"Don't worry, sugar. We'll find it."

They never did find a McDonalds but they did find a little diner. As they sat in a booth next to the window, Lacy examined the man sitting opposite her. Most of the bruises had faded, but parts of his face were still scarred and discoloured. "How did you fall off your bike Happy?"

"It was raining and a van drove into me, I guess he didn't see me."

"You will be okay though?"

"Sure. My bike was pretty smashed up though. Gotta get a new one."

She fell silent and looked out of the window. She didn't like to think of Happy getting hurt.

Happy frowned. "Don't look so worried, Lacy. I'm okay." He passed her a menu. "Why don't you choose something to eat."

"Anything I want?"

"Anything at all." Happy grinned as she ordered the cheeseburger with extra bacon and fries, then promptly smothered them with ketchup and mustard, ignoring the disapproving looks of the waitress.

They ate in silence, until it was broken by Lacy's loud burp. She grinned. "Sorry, Hap."

He gave a one shouldered shrug. "S'okay, sugar." Taking advantage of the break in the unfamiliar awkwardness between them, he started to speak. "Lacy, what's going on in that head of yours?"

She shrugged. "I hate it here. At school, they call me white trash, an' I keep on getting in trouble for stuff that aint my fault." She sniffed. "I cant help it if I don't know stuff."

"What does your mom say?"

"She gets mad at me. She says I aint trying. But I am, Hap. All the kids are smarter than me." She blinked and a solitary, fat tear rolled down her cheek. "I can't help it if I'm dumb."

"You aint dumb, Lacy. You're the smartest kid I know."

"You don't know any other kids, Hap."

"True dat. Even so. I know you're a smart kid." Happy grinned. "Smarter than me anyhow." Lacy didn't smile back, and his cold, black heart broke for her. "Lacy, sugar. I wish there was something I could do to make this better."

"Take me back with you."

"I can't, little girl."

"Why not? I could stay with DeeDee, or Nana Von." She sighed. "DeeDee was gonna move here, but Rob said it was a bad idea so mom told her not to. I don't think Rob likes any of our old friends or family. He gets weird if we talk about them."

"Weird how?"

Lacy shrugged. "If I talk about my old friends, he says I'm an ungrateful bitch. He says my life is better now, but it's not, Hap."

Happy's jaw clenched. Up until now, he had tried to stay out of Mona's shit, despite every instinct telling him to do otherwise. He loved Lacy, but she wasn't his kid and he was scared that if he pushed too hard he would be prevented from seeing her, and there would be nothing he could do about it. "I think it's time me an' your mom had a little chat."

Lacy nodded. She had always hated it when her mom and Happy got into fights. It was hard watching the two people she loved most in the world, hurt each other. But right now, she didn't care. She just wanted someone to make her mom and Rob understand, just how unhappy she was. And the only person who could do that was sitting opposite her right now.

Rob's car was on the driveway as they pulled up outside the house. They both climbed out of the little hire car and headed towards the house. Happy knew this was a risky strategy. Rob was a jumped up little shit, who would think nothing of calling the cops if he felt threatened, but it was a chance he was going to have to take. He didn't understand Rob's motivation, but he had seen controlling behaviour enough times to recognise it. By isolating Mona he had her in his pocket, a willing slave to do his bidding. He wasn't happy about that, but she was a big girl and would have to look out for herself. Lacy, however was different. He couldn't stand by and watch him chip away at her until there was nothing of the little girl he loved so much, left.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Rob pushed his dinner away and got to his feet. "Lacy, go to your room."

Lacy tucked herself behind Happy. "I want to stay here."

Happy gave a tiny smile as he felt her hand clutch at his tee shirt. "S'okay, sugar. You can stay and hear this." His eyes met Rob's, boring into them until the smaller man took an involuntary step back. "I want to talk to Mona."

"I'm not leaving you alone with her, who knows what you might do."

Happy shrugged. "So stay." He turned to Mona. "I aint sure how this gets fixed, M. But you need to know how hard Lacy is finding all this shit right now. The kids at her school are picking on her, and she's struggling to keep up with the work. She needs you to support her, M. Not yell at her. Why you suddenly hell bent on turning her into something she's not?"

Rob stepped forward. "We are trying to give her the best opportunities in life. And that doesn't involve her hanging round with biker scum like you."

Happy's lips curled up into a sneer. "Oh I agree that I probably aint the ideal person for a kid to be hanging with. What with me being an uneducated criminal type an' all. But the difference between you an' me is, that I love Lacy and will always want what's best for her."

"And what might that be? Running wild on the streets, getting into crime, drugs?"

"I aint saying that couldn't happen, given her family history. But Dee's done okay. And growing up surrounded by people who love her has gotta be better than this."

"We love her." Rob pulled himself up to his full height, which was still several inches short of Happy's. "This isn't about Lacy, it's about me taking Mona away from you. And you losing your influence over her."

"Don't flatter yourself, asshole. I don't give a shit about you an' Mona, cos trust me, if I did…." He left the rest of the sentence unsaid, as Mona shifted uncomfortably in the background. "All I'm asking is that you give Lacy a break, maybe look around for a different school. Somewhere she can shine."

His eyes sought out Mona's. "Please M."

Mona nodded. "Maybe."

Knowing that was the best he could hope for. He turned to the little girl standing behind him pulling his teeshirt out of shape. "I'll come, pick you up tomorrow morning. We'll go and spend the day on the beach or something."

"She has school in the morning."

Happy scowled. This asshole was really starting to push his buttons. "No she don't." He bent and kissed Lacy on the top of the head. "See you tomorrow, sugar."

Mona stood and followed him to the door. "Hap."

"Just have her ready for me at nine." He reached out and touched her face. "I'll see you tomorrow."


	17. Chapter 17

I don't own sons of anarchy

SEVENTEEN

Grinning, Happy watched as Lacy kicked her way through the waves. It was good to see her smile again. He had been afraid that Rob would try to sabotage their day trip, but he had prudently decided to butt out.

He got that he wanted to keep them apart. He hadn't been lying when he said that he wasn't the sort of guy that should be allowed around kids. Not that he'd ever hurt them. He may have been the most feared of the sons, and according to various psyche reports he'd had done whilst in jail, he had definite sociopathic tendencies. But he wasn't crazy and he'd never kill for fun. He understood loyalty, family and he knew how to love. It still spoke volumes about Lacy's life when the only person prepared fight her corner was him. It would have been so much easier if he had been her dad. If there was any way he could get her away from that douche, Rob, he'd take it. Surely Mona could see what he was doing. He had to get her alone, had to talk to her.

Lacy laughed at the feeling of the sand between the toes as the tide dragged it back, the tiny pebbles making a chattering sound under the waves. She looked over to where Happy was sitting, smoking a cigarette and gave a little wave. Life was always better when he was around. She knew Rob didn't like him and for some reason thought that it was because of Happy that her mom got sick and sad. Lacy didn't believe that. It was Happy who paid for her to go to the place to get better. And he and Nana Von always made sure there was food in the cupboards and that she had somewhere to sleep.

She was really beginning to hate Rob. She was too young and lacked the skills to verbalise what it was about him that made her so uncomfortable. When Happy hugged her, she felt safe, like nothing could hurt her. But Rob. On the rare occasions that he did hug her, it just felt… wrong. She couldn't quite put her finger on it. He didn't touch her in the places that the school nurse had talked to her about after seeing Happy picking her up from school one day. But his hands were never still and when he tucked her into bed he would tell her that she was his special girl and how he planned on doing special things with her when she got bigger. Lacy wondered if she should tell Happy, but decided against it. They were having a nice day, just the two of them and she didn't want him getting all mad and taking her home.

She trotted across the hot sand and sat down between his legs, with her back to him. "I'm hot, Hap. Can we get a drink?"

"Sure. He scrambled to his feet, wincing as his hip twinged."

"You okay?"

"Yeah, sugar. Just got a few bumps and bruises is all." He took her hand and they walked slowly towards a little beach side café, a short distance away.

Of course, once they got there, Lacy decided she was hungry. Happy swore she had hollow legs. She looked up from her lasagne. "There's an aquarium down the road, can we go?"

"Are there Mermaids?"

She rolled her eyes. "Happy, that is the dumbest thing I've ever heard. So can we?"

"Of course we can, sugar. This is your day, we can do whatever you want."

Lacy loved the aquarium, as did Happy. They stroked the stingrays and walked through the tunnels, marvelling at the sharks and other wonders of the oceans. Lacy slipped her tiny hand into his. "I'm having a lovely day, Hap."

"Me too, sugar." Happy gave her hand a little squeeze. He knew there was something playing on her mind, but he knew he couldn't push her. She had to trust him enough to share any troubles she might have and she wouldn't do that if he pushed.

As they walked back to the car, Lacy started to drag her heels. "I don't wanna go home yet, Hap."

"I know sugar. I'm sorry, we cant put it off for ever. We could stop for icecream on the way though."

"Yeah, okay."

Happy drank his coffee as Lacy dived into an enormous icecream sundae. "If you puke in the car, you're cleaning it up."

"I never puke, Hap." It was true, she never did. The kid had the most robust constitution, ever.

"Just saying, sugar."

She rolled her eyes and gave him her trademark, lobsided grin. "You wouldn't make me clean it up anyway, you love me waaay too much."

"You keep telling yourself that, Lacy. C'mon, let's get you home, before your mom sends out a search party."

They drove home in silence. Lacy looked out of the window and watched the scenery go by. Tomorrow, Happy would be flying home and she had no idea when she would see him again.

Happy pulled out his cell and dialled. "M? we're on her way, be about half an hour."

She was leaning on the gate as he pulled up outside the house. "Hi sweetheart, you have a good time?"

Lacy nodded and turned to kiss Happy. "Will you call me when you get home?"

"Of course. You know the score, sugar. You wanna talk about anything at all, at any time of day. You call me, understand."

She nodded again and ran into the house, not wanting Happy to see her tears. Mona watched as she entered the house. "You leaving tomorrow?"

"Yeah first thing."

"Where you staying tonight?"

"Little motel next to the airport." Their eyes met and he swallowed. "Same goes for you, M. You need me. You call, okay."

She nodded and turned away. "I better get in. Take care Hap."

He watched as she followed her daughter before climbing back into his car and driving away without a backwards glance.

It was gone midnight and sleep still eluded him. Happy laid on the narrow, musty smelling bed and gazed at the water stained ceiling. There had been several times when he had thought that Lacy was going to tell him something but at the last minute, she had backed off. It wasn't like her to keep things from him and he was starting to get a really bad feeling about all this. He closed his eyes, maybe he should get someone to check this Rob out. Shit maybe he should have done this right from the start. Well there was nothing could be done tonight, he may as well try and get some sleep. He was just starting to drift off, when he was startled awake by a loud knocking. Hating the fact he had no gun, he crept to the door. "Who is it?"

"Hap, it's me. Open the door."

Sliding off the chain, he pulled open the door. "M."


	18. Chapter 18

I don't own sons of anarchy

EIGHTEEN

"M." Happy stood back as she walked into the dingy motel room. "What are you doing here?"

"I had to see you before you left." Mona took a step closer to him.

"Where's Rob?" Happy stepped back.

She shrugged. "Sleeping. I slipped a couple of pills into his cocoa."

"Okay let me get this straight. You've left your eight year old daughter with a man that you've knocked out with sleeping pills. Shit, Mona. You really are a piece of work."

"Lacy will be fine. Rob's sleeping, not unconscious." Mona touched Happy's chest. "I just need five minutes. Please Hap."

"Five minutes." Happy sat on the bed. "Talk."

"I keep getting the feeling I'm making a horrible mistake."

"Go on."

"I thought that I would learn to love him. That as time went on I would love him like I love you." She reached out and touched his cheek. "I still love you Happy."

As her hand ran down his chest, he could feel his muscles jump under her fingers. "Mona." He croaked. "What are you doing?"

"I want you."

Happy jumped to his feet as if he had been shocked. "Jesus Mona. You have got to be kidding me. You got a husband. You will not put me in this position. You want out of this marriage, you leave him. But you do not involve me." He started to pace up and down the room, desperate to put some distance between them. The last thing he needed was his body betraying him. "Go home to your husband and daughter, M."

"Happy." Mona stepped in front of him, halting his pacing. "Look me in the eye and tell me you don't want me." She laid her hands flat against his chest.

He swallowed and closed his eyes. "Don't."

Standing on tiptoes, Mona kissed him softly on the lips, her hands snaking up around his neck and pressing her body up against his.

Groaning as she pressed herself against his hardening cock, Happy's hands found their way around to the small of her back, pulling her closer, still. He deepened the kiss, forcing her lips apart with his tongue.

Who was he kidding. There had never been a time that he could resist her. Happy wasn't perfect, but he was a man of principles, he would never fuck another man's woman. Even if the guy was a complete douche.

They pulled apart and Mona gave a tiny, cat like smile. "You never could resist me, Hap."

Using every last ounce of his self control. He roughly pushed her away. "Well I'm resisting you now. I want you gone, Mona."

"You send me away, and I swear you will never see Lacy again. OH!"

Happy slammed her hard into the wall. "In all my years I have never beaten a woman. But as God is my witness, I promise you. If you try to come between me and that kid. I will kill you with my bare hands."

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry." She slid down the wall as Happy released his grip. "I didn't mean it. I'm just so desperate to get away from him. There's something about him, Hap. It scares me."

"He hurt you?"

She shook her head. "No."

"Lacy?"

"No."

"So leave."

"I…I can't."

"Why not, M. Just jump on a plane and go home."

"Just like that?"

"Seems simple enough to me. The guy is clearly an asshole. Lacy hates him."

"So help me."

"I've been helping you, your entire life, M. It's time you learned to stand on your own two feet."

"I will Hap. I just need you to help me this one more time."

"Aint nothing I can do for you here, darling. You get back to Bakersfield and you'll get all the support you need."

"I don't have any money."

Happy barked a short humourless laugh. "Mona you are wearing at least a grand's worth of gold. Use your imagination." He reached out and ran his fingers through her hair. "I will always love you, Mona. But I will not be treated like an fool. Don't ever forget who you are fucking with." He opened the door. "Go home and take care of your kid." He watched as she walked slowly to her car. Only Mona could get away with the shit she did. If anyone else had pulled the stunts she did, he would kill them, without question.

* * *

Happy flexed his left arm experimentally as the prospect rolled his bike onto the lot. It wasn't ideal, his old bike was a little too slow, the engine a little too small, but he had to admit Tig and the prospect had done a great job tuning it up and getting it fit for the road, and he was getting impatient, very impatient indeed.

This was what he lived for. As he weaved through the traffic, the roar of the engine as his bike thrummed between his legs. It would be a week or so before he was fit for long runs but right now he was just happy to be able to get out for an hour or so at a time. He and Tig pulled onto the TM lot and his companion laughed at the grin on his face. "Good to be back on the road eh, bro."

"You have no idea."

They wandered into the clubhouse and grabbed a couple of beers. Tig leaned with his back to the bar, checking out the croweaters more out of habit than anything. "So how was Miami?"

Happy shrugged. "Kid hates it. There's something she aint telling me."

"Her mom say anything?"

"Not exactly. Reckon they might be home soon, though."

"That's good, right?"

Happy grinned. "Yeah, it's perfect."


	19. Chapter 19

I don't own sons of anarchy

NINETEEN

Happy packed his saddle bags in preparation for the following day's run, trying to shake off the feeling of impending disaster. He was twitchy most of the time these days, and no longer felt he could trust his own judgement. His brothers, too, seemed edgy round him, not that he blamed them. He had always had a reputation for being pretty laid back, despite his role as enforcer. It was rare for Happy to lose his temper, but as the weeks turned into months and there was still no sign of Mona returning to Cali with her little girl, he found himself lashing out more and more, and it was usually his brothers in the firing line. As he carried his bags though the clubhouse and out towards his bike, he could almost hear the collective sigh of relief from his redwood brothers as they watched him prepare for a short stay in Tacoma.

Tig wandered over to Happy's bike. He was one of a few brothers not giving him a wide berth. Partly because he understood why Happy was behaving the way he was, he was the same when Colleen took his girls away, and partly because he wasn't intimidated by anyone, not even a pissed off Happy. "Hey bro. You leaving in the morning?"

"yeah, first thing." Having secured the saddle bags to his bike, he straightened up and turned to go back to the clubhouse.

Tig reached out and placed his hand on his brother's shoulder. "You hear from the kid?"

"Yeah, occasionally. She don't wanna talk much these days. Says she's okay though."

"Maybe she's settling in, starting to find her feet."

"Maybe, hope so."

"What about her mom?"

Happy shrugged. "Don't talk to her." He would never be able to shake the feeling that he should have helped her to get away from the douche. He should have known she wouldn't do it on her own. Mona had never stood on her own two feet, but if her weakness caused Lacy to suffer, he would never forgive her. Or himself.

Despite telling himself that Lacy was okay, he still felt uneasy. Fuck it, as soon as this short secondment was up, he would use some of the cash he'd saved up for his new bike and fly out east to see her. Lacy's wellbeing was more important than a new bike.

He followed Tig into the clubhouse for a beer, before heading to his dorm to get an early night. He had a long day ahead of him so he'd best get as much sleep as he could.

It was dawn when Happy, Quinn and GoGo set off for Tacoma, where they would be joined by Kozic and Lorca before heading over the border to Winnipeg to help oversee the setting up of a new gun warehouse. Winnipeg was a small charter that was more legitimate than outlaw, but they owned several properties that were off the grid and were ideal for gun assembly. Unser transport, and Tacoma shipping both had regular trips across the border so moving the guns in and out of the states shouldn't be a problem and it kept them away from Tacoma and, more importantly the mother charter, while ATF were sniffing around. It was a temporary fix and Happy couldn't think of an argument as to why it wouldn't work, other than what his gut was telling him.

Two days later he found himself in Tacoma, sitting dockside watching as the container loaded with gun parts was loaded on a ship destined for Vancouver. There could be no denying that this was an expensive way of doing things, port officials needed bribing and shipping costs were high. On the plus side they could transport higher volumes in one hit, minimising the risk and increasing the return. In theory anyway. As Happy pulled out a wad of cash and approached the fat official, he heard the familiar sound of a gun being cocked. "Freeze motherfucker."

Shit, shit, shit. This was not good. Not good at all. Happy laid on his front, his legs spayed as the cops frisked him and his companions and the container doors were opened. He looked over to where Quinn was laying. "Looks like we've been set up, bro."

Quinn said nothing. He and Happy were going to do a long bid for this. They weren't going to see freedom for at least five years.

* * *

Lacy sat out back, her feet dangling in the pool. Happy was in prison and wouldn't be coming out for a long time. No matter how she tried to approach it, she couldn't wrap her head around it. Happy wasn't a bad man, despite what Rob said. How could the man she loved more than anything in the world, be in jail? Her mom had said that he would be able to phone her and they could write to one another but she wouldn't be able to see him. She sniffed as the tears ran unchecked down her cheeks and dropped into the water below. In three days time it would be her ninth birthday and she was having a huge party. Lacy sighed, she had really been looking forward to it. She had just started to make friends with the local kids and things were even getting better at school. But right now she really didn't want to celebrate. She just wanted to cry and cry.

* * *

Dee sat in the visiting room, waiting for Happy to come through the door. He was only eight months into a four year sentence and she had no idea how you dealt with something like that. She had thought telling Lacy that he was locked up was tough, but what she was about to tell him could push him over the edge. She had debated with Yvonne whether they should say anything to him. But in the end they knew that one way or another he was going to find out. She just prayed that he didn't lose it, he needed to hold on to his privileges and Lacy needed her weekly phone calls. She looked up as he walked through the door. He had obviously spent his time inside, working out and even under the shapeless orange suit, she could see how he had bulked out. Shit, he looked magnificent.

She stood and kissed him gently on the lips. "Hap."

"Hey." Happy sat at the table and she took a seat opposite him. "You okay?"

She nodded. "You?"

He shrugged. "Trying to stay out of trouble."

Dee nodded again and took a deep breath. There was no way of sugar coating this. "I've got something to tell you, and I don't think you're going to like it."

Happy frowned as she fell silent, steeling herself. "Shit what is it? Lacy? Ma? C'mon Dee just fucking tell me."

"Lacy and your mom are fine. Missing you, but they're okay. It's Mona." She looked up, and her eyes met his. "She's pregnant."

"Oh." Happy really didn't know what else to say. Somewhere, deep inside him, he could feel the rage building, pounding on his ribcage. Her couldn't lose it. And why did he care anyway? They weren't together, she was married to another man. So why did it hurt so much?

Dee took his hand. "Hap? You okay?"

He nodded, his jaw clenched. "Yeah, I'm fine."

He wasn't, she could see that. Even after all these years, all the shit Mona had put him through. Happy still loved her. She squeezed his hand. "Stings huh?"

He looked up again and their eyes met for a second time. "Reckon I fell in love with the wrong sister." He brought her fingers up to his lips. "I always was a dumb fuck."

Blinking away the tears that threatened to fall, she touched his cheek. "You look after yourself, big man." She smiled. "I don't think Mona ever appreciated what she had."

"I aint exactly much of a prize Dee." He looked up as the bell rang. "Thanks for coming, watch out for ma for me." They stood and he kissed her briefly on the cheek, before turning and walking back out without a backwards glance.


	20. Chapter 20

I don't own sons of anarchy

TWENTY

Dear Happy

Thank you for your letter and the drawing of the unicorn. I put it on my bedroom wall mom says you was always a good artist. I hope you are ok and don't get mad again so you can call me. I don't like it if you cant call. I went with mom to the hospitol to see pictures of her baby its going to be a boy. Rob says if I am good and don't get put on repot this term he will by me a pony. That is cool. I am being good at school now. I am going now cos I want to play with my frends. I have drawn a picture of the pony for you to put on your wall. I miss you. Love you lots. Lacy xxxxxxxxx

* * *

Hi Lacy,

Thank you for your letter and the picture of the pony, you're a pretty good artist too. I'm sorry I got mad and wasn't allowed to call you, I'm an idiot sometimes. I will call you next week, I promise.

A baby brother, wow. That's pretty cool, huh? I hope you're going to help your mom take care of him.

I'm glad to hear things are going ok at school now, keep it up. I always knew you were a smart kid. I reckon that getting a pony should stop you getting into trouble. It sounds like things are going ok for you now. I'm really pleased for you Lacy, I really want you to be happy.

I miss you too sugar. More that you'll ever know.

I'll speak to you soon, give your mom a kiss from me.

Love you lots, Happy xxxxx

* * *

Happy laid back on his bunk and closed his eyes. He really hated himself right now. All he had to do was keep his head down and stay out of trouble and he couldn't even manage that. Not only did he get solitary for a week, but he dragged Quinn down with him. It wasn't like him to lose his cool and smashing some jerk's head into the floor for bumping into him was inexcusable. He looked up as the door swung open and a warden stood waiting to escort him back onto his block. "On your feet Lowman." Happy dragged himself to his feet with a grunt of pain. He guessed he deserved the beat down he got. His ribs hurt like a bitch though. Once shackled, he stood waiting as his president was brought out. Quinn grinned at the expression on his brother's face as he shuffled through the door. "It's all good, Hap. I'll be back to my normal handsome self in no time."

"Silence." The guard pushed him hard in the back, causing Quinn to growl. One day that nasty little shit would get his.

Once back in their cell, Happy eased himself carefully onto his bunk. "I'm sorry man."

Quinn chuckled. "It's cool Hap. Would appreciate it if you could refrain from any more shit kicking between now and the next parole hearing though. I really would like to get out of here."

"I'll do my best." Happy gave a rueful grin. "Pretty keen on getting out of here, myself."

Quinn sat on his own bunk and watched his cell mate. This wasn't the first time they'd done a bid together and it was unlike Happy to lose his cool. He figured that it had something to do the mother of the kid he was writing to. Since finding out she was knocked up, he had been walking on a knife edge and it was only a matter of time until he really lost his shit. He sighed, Happy wouldn't be the first to be brought to his knees by some gash, and he doubted he'd be the last. He glanced at the bunch of kid's drawings stuck to the pin board. "Kid doing okay?"

"Yeah." Happy gave a small smile. "She's a tough kid. Aint much keeps her down."

Quinn nodded but said nothing. He couldn't imagine loving a kid that wasn't his own, the way Happy did. There could be no denying though, Happy did love that little girl, as much as if she was his own.

* * *

Finally, they had a release date. In two weeks time, after serving two years of a four year sentence they would be going home. Happy walked back from the payphone with a huge grin on his face. His mom had cried at the news, and Lacy had screamed with delight, especially when he had promised to fly out to see her as soon as he could.

He knew that until his parole was up, he was going to have to box clever. The feds had only been able to make the bribery charge stick. Both Happy and Quinn had denied knowing what was in in the container, where it had come from, or where it was headed. They both stuck to their story about being approached by a stranger in a bar. And despite the fact it was obviously bullshit, without any physical evidence to tie either of them to the gun parts, the smuggling charges were dropped. It did mean, however that the feds would be watching them like hawks. One little slip up and they would be back in the slammer before their feet touched the ground. Luckily the little fat port official who had double crossed them had been taken care of while they were inside, giving them an airtight alibi.

Happy had already decided that as there were no travel restrictions tied to his parole agreement, he would spend the next two years travelling as much as possible. Maybe spend some time on the east coast and the mid west. But as soon as he'd visited his ma, he would head out to Miami. He needed to see with his own eyes, that Lacy really was okay.

* * *

He stood on the forecourt of the Harley dealership, gazing at the gleaming Dyna. It was perfect, pure outlaw. He grinned as he approached the sales office. He would never be able to thank Dee enough for lending him the shortfall. His credit rating was nonexistent and there was no way he'd be able to get finance. Although he knew she earned good money as a legal secretary, it must have been a stretch for her to find six grand, just like that. He'd pay her back, every damn penny, with interest. She'd laughed when he told her that. Just kissing him on the cheek and saying he'd earned it by looking out for Mona and Lacy all those years.

They'd always been close, ever since they were kids. He'd always looked on her like his baby sister. But during his latest bid they'd grown even closer. She was a lovely girl, open and honest, with a generous nature. He really hoped one day, she would find a man deserving of her.

Now he had a decent bike, he decided against flying out to Miami. Instead he would travel east from charter to charter, picking up jobs here and there. He wouldn't rush. Lacy was doing okay, full of talk about her new pony and baby brother, and he needed to earn. Even if he took his time, he could be with her by the end of the month.

* * *

Lacy pulled the saddle from her pony's back and hung it over the fence, before removing his bridle and turning him loose in the paddock. She waved to her mom who was leaning on the hood of the jeep with baby Jack in her arms. Life in Miami hadn't turned out to be so bad, although, despite his generous gift of Sparky, the little dapple grey pony, she still didn't like Rob. Most of the time she managed to stay out of his way. His job was quite important and he was often busy, and she always found ways to avoid being alone with him. Although recently he was becoming more insistent that they spent time together. Lacy really wasn't happy about this. He always made her feel uncomfortable. Maybe when Happy came, she would talk to him. Even though he wasn't as perfect as she first thought he was, and despite their long separation, she still trusted him more than anyone. He might not always be able to be with her. But he was always honest, and she knew he would do whatever he could to keep her safe. She sighed. She missed him so much.

It was only a short drive from the livery yard back to their house. Lacy sat in the back seat and played with Jack. She loved her little brother very much, even though he seemed to take all her mom's time. Her mom had never had much time for her anyway. As they turned into their street her mom turned. "Looks like you have a visitor, sweetheart."

Lacy looked out of the window. There, sitting astride a big black Harley was the person she was so desperate to see. "Happy!"

She jumped from the car and ran towards him as fast as her legs could carry her. He dismounted and she launched herself at him, laughing with delight as he spun her round and kissed her hard on her cheek. "Hey sugar. You smell of horse."

"Hey Hap." She buried her face in his neck. "You smell of Happy."

He set her on the ground and examined her closely. "Shit sugar, whatever they been feeding you? If you grow anymore, you gonna be taller than me." He grinned and stroked her hair. Apart from shooting up like a weed, she hadn't changed that much. Her hair was still white blonde and she still had that cute lobsided grin. "Still as beautiful as ever." He kissed her forehead and looked up as Mona approached holding a tousle hair's toddler on her hip. "Hey."

She smiled. "Hey, you okay?"

"Yeah. Can I take Lacy on the bike? I've bought her a helmet and I swear I'll be careful."

"Sure. I know you'll take good care of her." She reached out and touched his cheek. "I'm glad you're out."

She turned to Lacy who was already climbing onto the back of his bike. "You hold on tight and do whatever Hap says."

Lacy rolled her eyes and took the helmet from Happy. "Yes mom."

It was just a short ride to the nearest beach. Happy didn't want to ride with her for too long. Her feet only just reached the pegs and he hated riding slowly. They dismounted and headed for a stand selling candy and soda. He bought them each a coke and led her to a quiet spot on the beach, where they sat down and looked out over the sea. Lacy rested her head against his arm. "I really missed you, Hap."

"I missed you too, sugar. I'm sorry I let you down."

"I'm okay. I don't mind living here now. I miss you and Nana Von, and Dee. But I've made friends and I start junior high next year."

"I'm glad it's turned out okay for you sugar."

They both fell silent for a while, just enjoying being in each other's presence. Lacy shifted. "Hap?"

"Yes sugar."

"Can I come stay with you?"

"I thought you said you were okay here now."

"I am. But in the summer break, I'd really like to go back to Bakersfield, just for a little while."

"I'll talk to your mom. See if we can't arrange something."

"Really?" She threw her arms around his neck and kissed his cheek. "You really are the best, Hap."

"I know sugar."

The rest of the day was spent goofing around on the beach and hanging round the beachside shops buying stupid stuff. They didn't talk much, Happy was planning on sticking around for a few days, and they needed time to reacquaint themselves. Two years apart was a long time, especially when you're a kid. Although she was obviously much happier now, Happy still couldn't help but get the feeling that she was holding out on him. Hopefully by the end of his stay she would trust him enough to open up and talk to him. Till then though he planned on keeping thing light and just having fun. She was growing up fast and wouldn't be a little girl for much longer.

Lacy really wanted to tell Happy how she felt about Rob, just not today. She watched him try and win her a sparkly unicorn on the hoopla stall, all she wanted to do was goof around and have fun like they used to when she was a little kid. She laughed as he got more and more pissed off with the stall holder until the poor man gave in and gave her the prize anyway. Slipping her hand into his she dragged him towards the hotdog stand. "Hap?"

"Yes sugar."

"It really is good to have you back."

"Good to be back."

"Hap?"

"Yeah."

"Try not to get locked up again."

"I'll do my best, sugar. I'll do my best."


	21. Chapter 21

Sons of anarchy

TWENTY ONE

For three days, Happy and Lacy spent every available minute together. Despite Rob's disapproval, Mona had agreed that she could bunk off school. She really didn't want to piss off Happy after their last encounter, and she could see that he and her daughter needed time to reconnect after such a long period apart.

They had revisited the aquarium, and she had taken him to the livery yard to meet her pony. She had hoped he would hire out one of the bigger horses from the yard and go with her for a ride, but he had told her in no uncertain terms, that wasn't going to happen. Most of the time though, had been spent on the beach, just walking along in the surf and talking. Lacy slipped her hand into his as they walked to their favourite café. "Hap?"

"Yes sugar?"

"If I tell you something, will you promise not to get mad?"

"I'll promise to try." Happy could feel his heart pounding in his chest. "I will promise not to get mad at you. How about that?"

Lacy nodded, trying to rehearse in her head, what she wanted to say.

Happy frowned. "Lacy?"

"I don't like Rob."

"You gonna tell me why?"

She shrugged. "I don't know."

"C'mon sugar, you can do better than that."

"He… I… I really don't know, Hap."

Happy stopped walking and sat on the sand dune. "Sit." Lacy sat next to him. Happy took her hand and gave it a tiny squeeze. He really didn't want to put words into her mouth. "How about you just tell me how you feel when you're with him."

"I don't like being with him."

"Why?"

"He's creepy."

Happy could feel the anger rising in his chest. "He touch you?"

She shook her head. "No." She looked out over the sea. She wished she knew how to explain to him how she felt. "He says stuff." She looked over to Happy, frowning as his jaw clenched. "Hap you promised not to get mad."

"I aint mad sugar." He gave a tight smile. "What does he say?"

"He says I'm his special girl and he cant wait till I get bigger. I don't like it Hap, he makes me feel uncomfortable."

"Have you said anything to your mom?"

"I tried, once."

"And what did she say?" Happy wasn't sure he wanted to know the answer.

"She said I was imagining things, an' that I shouldn't tell anyone. Especially you." Lacy sniffed. "She said no one would believe me."

"I believe you." He slipped his arm around her shoulders. "You want me to talk to him?"

"Will it make him stop?"

"Not sure sugar, he's just gonna say that he hasn't done anything wrong."

"Will you talk to him anyway?"

"Oh yes I will." He was going to talk to Mona too. He wasn't sure how he was going to tackle this. Clearly Rob hadn't done anything, yet. If he want wading in making wild accusations, they would keep Lacy away from him. But if he said nothing and Rob….He couldn't even bring himself to think of it.

Lacy rested her head on his shoulder. "I'm just glad you believe me."

"Of course I do. You know you can tell me anything, sugar. I can't promise I can always make things right, but I will always believe you."

* * *

It was early the following morning when Rob left his house and walked down his driveway towards his brand new BMW. He looked up and scowled, that biker scum was actually sitting on the hood. "What the hell do you think you're doing?"

"Think you an' me need to have a little chat."

Rob swallowed. That little bitch had been talking. "I've got nothing to say to you."

"Then just listen." Happy slid off the hood and stood in front of him. "The shit you're saying to Lacy stops now. You do not touch her and if she doesn't want to be alone with you, you respect that." Rob opened his mouth to speak but Happy held up his hand. "If you as much as look at her in a way that makes her feel uncomfortable. I will find you and I will kill you." He smiled. "Slowly."

Rob swallowed. "I don't know what Lacy's been saying to you. But I have never laid a hand on her."

"Nor will you, asshole." He pushed past him and headed towards the house. When he reached the front door, he turned. "I will be watching you."

Rob climbed into his car and turned the ignition key with a trembling hand. He wasn't a paedophile, they were sick perverts who preyed on little kids. He liked young girls, it was true. But he'd never touch then until they'd hit their teens. He took a deep breath, not quite able to believe that little bitch blabbed. He'd never touched her and thought his approach was subtle enough for her not to pick up on his intentions. Rob's jaw clenched. Well if he couldn't have Lacy, he sure as fuck didn't want her mother. He'd put up with that junkie whore for long enough, but without the promise of that perfect piece of young flesh, he had no incentive to keep her around.

Mona opened the door. "Hap, you're early. Lacy isn't up yet."

Happy shrugged. "I wanted to catch you before she got up."

"Oh is there a problem?"

"Yes, M. I think there is." He turned and tickled the cheek of the baby sitting in a high chair. "Lacy isn't comfortable around Rob. I think he might be grooming her."

"No! You're wrong. She's lying."

"Why would she lie, Mona?"

"Because, because." Mona opened her arms wide. "Because she's a shit stirring little bitch."

It took every last vestige of self control not to bury his fist in her face. "That is your daughter you are talking about. Jesus, M. How can you not believe her?"

"Because it's not true."

He was trying hard to keep a lid on his temper. He didn't want to start yelling and wake up Lacy. "Mona, I will tell you what I told that piece of shit of a husband of yours. I will be watching very closely. If I hear that he has laid one finger on her I will cut off his balls and leave him to bleed out." He pointed his finger at her. "I know I can't prove anything and I'm sure the authorities will believe a respectable accountant over a convicted felon. But trust me, M. Mud sticks. You try to keep me away from her and I will be shouting my concerns from the highest rooftops. I'm sure the members of his lodge, wont be keen on him keeping his membership once I've finished talking to them."

"Please Hap, you can't say anything. Lacy is mistaken. He hasn't done anything."

Happy leaned on the table. "Fuck how could I ever have loved a selfish bitch like you." He straightened up. "Have Lacy ready for me in an hour. I'll be back then."

Mona reached out and touched his arm. Roughly, he pushed her hand away. "Don't." He turned away. "I can't even stand to look at you right now."

He stormed out of the house and onto his bike. He roared off, the rage coursing through his veins. He needed to calm down, he couldn't be with Lacy when he was like this.

He had promised the little girl he wouldn't get mad. And when Happy made a promise to Lacy he always tried to keep it.


	22. Chapter 22

I don't own sons of anarchy

TWENTY TWO

His lips curled up in a sneer as she ran towards him, her arms outstretched. "Why would I be interested in an ugly bitch like you?"

"Please." She whispered, stepping closer. "Please, just give me a chance." In the background, she could hear Motorhead, Kill by death, playing over and over, worming it's way into her brain.

With a gasp, Dee opened her eyes as Happy's ringtone found it's way into her consciousness. "Hap? What time is it?"

"Early. Sorry for waking you, darling. But this can't wait."

"Problem?"

"Yeah, I think so." Happy took a deep breath. "Lacy say anything to you about Rob?"

"I know she doesn't like him." She frowned and sat up with her back against the pillows. "I've got to admit the guy gives me the creeps. What's going on, Hap?"

"I think he's been grooming her. I confronted him and Mona, of course they both denied it."

"Shit! You think Mona knew?"

"No." She was selfish and probably deep in denial, but he didn't believe Mona would deliberately put Lacy at risk. He took a deep breath. "I hate to put this on you, but I think we should get Lacy out of there."

"What about the baby?"

Happy shrugged, the baby hadn't crossed his mind. "I think he'll be fine. I just don't want the fact that she talked to me, blowing back on Lacy."

Dee nodded. "Makes sense. I have some vacation time due. I can arrange a flight and go out there." She sighed. "My boss deals in family law. I'll talk to him. See where I stand legally. It would be best if we could keep the authorities out of this."

"Thanks Dee. You're…"

"Yeah. I know. I'm a good girl. I'll talk to you soon." She hung up and closed her eyes. If she was honest, she wasn't surprised. There was something about Rob that had made the hairs on the back of her neck stand on end. There had never been anything she could put her finger on, just a feeling. She sighed. In future she would have to trust her gut more.

* * *

Happy climbed back on his bike, and headed back towards Mona's house. He wanted to get Lacy out of there. He didn't believe she was in immediate danger, but he did think that by confronting, Rob and Mona, he had stirred up a shit storm and Lacy was in the eye.

He banged on the front door and she pulled it open, her eyes, red rimmed from crying. "Lacy, sugar. What's wrong?"

She sniffed loudly. "Mom's angry with me. She said I shouldn't have said anything about Rob."

"You did right, sugar. You should never keep things like that to yourself. Ever. Do you understand me?" He ran a callused finger down her cheek. "You want me to talk to your mom?"

She shook her head. "I just want to go out an' spend the day with you."

"Okay sugar. Whatever you want."

Instead of heading for the beach, Happy took her to the zoo. Lacy loved animals and he wanted to take her mind off things. He hoped Dee would be able to take her back to Bakersfield with her. He wasn't sure whether it could be a long term solution, but he figured that if Rob had been grooming her, like he suspected, he wouldn't put up much of a fight.

He had decided to give Juice a call and see if he couldn't do a little digging into the asshole's past. He doubted that Lacy was his first, and there was a chance that he was already known to the authorities. Happy's instinct was to kill the fucker, but he knew had had to try and go through the proper channels, for Mona and Lacy's sakes. Of course if the authorities couldn't protect the little girl, well there was always the Happy way.

Lacy loved the zoo. She leaned over the barrier to get a closer look at the lions. "Would he really eat me if I went in?"

"Probably although there aint much meat on you."

"He'd prefer to eat you." She giggled.

"Nah I'd take it out with one punch."

"You aint that tough, Hap."

"Yeah I am. All the animals here are pussies compared to me."

"Even the gorillas?"

"Especially the gorillas."

"If you're so tough. How come you were too scared ride a horse."

"I aint scared of no horse."

"Yeah. Whatever." She grinned. "I'm getting pretty hungry, Hap. Can we get a burger?"

"Sure sugar."

The restaurant overlooked a lake occupied by flamingos. They both sat by the windows, enjoying the view and the air conditioning. Happy watched Lacy as she tucked into her burger and fries. It never ceased to amaze him, that despite all the shit she'd been through in her short life, just how well adjusted she was. He wished there was a way he could wave a magic wand and make everything perfect for her.

She looked up and smiled. "I'm okay, Hap."

"Good to hear."

Her smile got wider. "I know you will always look out for me."

"Yeah, I will." Her faith in him was truly humbling, and he wasn't sure he deserved it. "C'mon, sugar finish your food. If we hurry we'll be able to catch the alligators' feeding time."

"S'pose you could take out a gator too."

"You'd better believe it, sugar."

As they walked to the alligators' enclosure, Lacy slipped her hand in his. She knew he was planning on leaving in the morning so she wanted this day to be perfect. There seemed no point in discussing what Happy had said to Rob or her mom. Clearly, judging by her mom's mood this morning, he'd said something. Lacy didn't care what he said as long as he made Rob back off. He really made her skin crawl.

It was dark when Happy dropped her off at her house. They had been putting off this moment for as long as possible, but now the time had come. Happy was going home. After giving her a long talk about not bottling stuff up, and how she could tell him anything, he kissed her on the top of her head and watched as she ran down her path to her front door, before gunning the engine and roaring off into the night.


	23. Chapter 23

I don't sons of anarchy

TWENTY THREE

Dee parked her little hire car outside her sister's house. She hadn't warned Mona she was coming, anything she wanted to say needed to be said face to face.

As she walked slowly towards the front door, she had to admit to herself, she was a little pissed with Happy for dumping this on her. She got that there was no way Mona would let Lacy stay with him, and legally he wouldn't have a leg to stand on. But would it have killed him to stick around and give her some moral support? That fucking club was always going to take precedence, even over an eleven year old girl at risk of abuse. Maybe his mother had a point.

"Dee. Wow this is a surprise, come in." Mona led her sister into her expansive kitchen. "Coffee?"

"Thanks." Dee sat at the island with the steaming mug in front of her, pulling faces at the baby in the high chair. "He's getting big."

"Yeah he is." Mona smiled. "He's a good baby, not fussy like Lacy was."

Dee frowned. Lacy hadn't been a fussy baby, and what would Mona know, she was always too stoned to notice her. She took a deep breath, unsure how to proceed. "Happy called me. He's worried about Lacy."

"Lacy's fine."

"Happy doesn't think so, and I gotta admit I'm inclined to agree with him." She looked up at her older sister. "He thinks Rob is grooming her."

"He's not! I'd know. He loves Lacy." Mona started to pace up and down. "Why can't Happy just butt out. Rob is so pissed off he stayed at his club last night. He just wants to come between me and Rob."

"Oh for fuck's sake, Mona. If Hap wanted to come between you and that piece of shit he would have done it a long time ago. You need to open your eyes and see what's in front of you. The kid hates being around Rob, and Lacy is one of the most trusting kids I have ever met." She stood and laid her hands flat on the island. "I think it would be a good idea for Lacy to come and stay with me for a while."

"And why would I agree to that?"

"Because if you don't I will call the authorities with my suspicions."

"Ha! They'd never believe you. What you gonna tell them? That a convicted felon thinks my highly respected husband is a paedophile."

"I think you will find that sex offenders come from all walks of life. Trust me, Mona. If an accusation is made, they will look into it. Of course if Rob is innocent and you are absolutely sure Lacy and Hap are lying, then you'll have nothing to worry about will you?"

Mona swallowed. "Happy really believes her doesn't he?"

"Of course. Lacy wouldn't lie to him."

"Shit. She tried to tell me once, but I shot her down." She blinked away the tears that were threatening to fall. "I was more worried about her threatening my lifestyle than her wellbeing. What sort of mother does that make me?"

Dee said nothing. Mona had always been a pretty lousy mother, putting her own needs before her daughter's. "You do know that if Hap's suspicions are right, Rob isn't going to want to be with you if he can't have Lacy?"

"You really think I care about that? I may be a terrible mother, but I'm not going to be with a man that is planning on abusing my kid. Jesus, Dee. You must really have a low opinion of me."

"Actually I don't, which is why I've already got tickets for you and the kids to fly back to Cali with me." She gave a rueful grin. "I don't think Rob will put up much of a fight over you taking Jack out of the state, and if you box clever, you should get a pretty generous settlement."

"I don't care about the money. I just want to get as far away from him as I can."

"Sure you don't, Mona. If it wasn't for his money you wouldn't be with him in the first place."

"We can't all be smart like you, with your fancy degree and high powered career. What was I supposed to do, huh? It was never going to work between Hap and me. Do you have any idea how hard it is to be a single mom?"

"Happy has always supported you. He would never see you or Lacy go without. A lesser man would have refused to even acknowledge you after all the shit you've put him through."

"I loved him. Still love him."

"Ha! You don't even know the meaning of the word. If it wasn't for Hap, you'd have been evicted a thousand times over. Who do you think paid for your rehab, your medical insurance?" Dee spun and faced her sister. "You've played him, Mona. All these years you've reeled him in then pushed him aside whenever someone you thought was a better prospect came along. I know he's far from perfect, and I know he has to take some responsibility for the shit that happened between you two. But there has never time when he hasn't been there for you and Lacy. That's love, Mona. Maybe you should try it sometime."

"You're in love with him! Shit, how could I never have seen it?" Mona laughed. "Oh that is so funny! Happy would never look at someone like you."

Dee looked at her hands. She knew she didn't share her sister's looks. That she had always been the plain, dowdy one. She also knew that Happy would never see her as anything other than a kid sister. Mona was right though, she did love him. Always had. She looked up and her eyes met those of her sister. "I suggest you start packing. The plane leaves at eight thirty tonight. I'll pick you and the kids up at six." She turned on her heel and walked out, leaving Mona staring opened mouthed behind her.

Lacy jiggled in her seat as the plane started to taxi along the runway. She couldn't believe she was going back to Bakersfield. While it was true that she had made new friends and would miss her pony, Bakersfield would always be her home, and she couldn't get there soon enough. Jack fidgeted on his mother's lap and she turned and tickled him under the chin, making him giggle. "Where we gonna stay, mom?" It was clear that they wouldn't be coming back to Florida, judging by the amount of stuff they had packed.

"It's okay sweetheart, we can stay with Dee until we get our own place." Mona smiled.

Lacy nodded. "Can we get a place near to Nana Von again?"

"We'll see, sweetheart." Mona had no intention of moving back there. She fully intended on taking Rob for every penny he'd got. She was sure she'd be able to afford a decent place in a good neighbourhood, she liked her middle class lifestyle and had no intention of giving it up any time soon.

Happy leaned over Juice's shoulder at the computer screen. Juice sighed. "Looks like your guy is clean, no convictions. He seems to move around quite a bit with his job, always active in the local community, organizing church picnics and such like. I don't know how relevant this is. But is seems he left a couple of churches under a cloud. There's nothing specific but, here look." He pointed to the screen. "He is on the church committee for just over a year, then suddenly he quits. There's no reason given, but look. It happens again two years later at a different church then again, here and here."

Happy frowned. "There's no mention of why?"

"No, but that in itself is unusual, you would expect the minutes to mention the reason for a committee member quitting. The only time they keep quiet is if they want to avoid a scandal."

Happy could feel his hands ball up into a fist. He would have loved to fly back out there and squeeze the life out of that sick fuck, he knew though, that wasn't an option. For now, anyway. Happy gave a grim smile. He could wait.


	24. Chapter 24

I don't own sons of anarchy

TWENTY FOUR

Lacy sat on the front doorstep listening for the sound of a Harley. Happy was coming today, and she couldn't wait to see him.

They had been back in Bakersfield for nearly two months and still hadn't moved out of Dee's condo. It was small and cramped with all of them there and the atmosphere between her mom and her aunt was strained, to say the least. She sighed. Why did the adults in her life have to spent all their time fighting. Lacy didn't get it. Surely if you loved someone, you wanted them to be happy. Why would you yell and say hurtful things that made them cry? If it wasn't Happy yelling at her mom, it was Nana Von yelling at Hap, or Mona yelling at Dee. Were all families like this?

She stood up as the sound of Happy's bike split the air. Maybe she should talk to Happy about it, although she doubted he'd have a satisfactory answer.

Happy pulled up outside Dee's condo but made no attempt to dismount, instead he waited for Lacy to come to him. He kissed her on the forehead before making sure she'd put her helmet on correctly and was sat securely behind him, then pulled off without saying a word. Lacy gripped tightly on to his hoodie and tucked her face into his back, out of the wind. This was the first time she'd seen him since returning to Cali although they had spoken on the phone. He'd insisted he'd been busy, but Lacy got the distinct impression that he was avoiding her mom for some reason.

They stopped at a small park that was little more than a duck pond and a kid's play area, but had always been a favourite place to hang out when she was a little kid. Happy helped her to dismount then they wandered slowly to the hot dog stand on the other side of the pond to beg for some stale rolls to feed the ducks. Lacy glanced over to her companion as they threw the bread to the ducks. "You okay, Hap?"

"Sure." He smiled. "I'm sorry sugar. Got stuff on my mind, is all."

"Are you pissed with my mom?"

"No, what makes you think that?"

She shrugged. "I dunno. Everyone seems pissed at the moment. Is it cos I told you about Rob?"

"No of course not. You did the right thing sugar." Happy gave her a little nudge. "I think it's tough on your mom and Dee living in such a small space, they'll be fine as soon as you get your own place."

"I guess." She sighed. "Can we go an' see Nana Von. I've only seen her once since we got back. Every time I ask mom she makes an excuse, an' Dee's busy all the time."

"Sure. She'd love to see you." Happy had intended on taking Lacy to his ma's all along. He had just wanted some time alone with her first, just to touch base.

* * *

Yvonne smiled as she heard Happy's bike pull up outside. Slowly and painfully, she hauled herself to her feet. The doctor had told her she had osteoporosis. Her bones were crumbling away, not uncommon, apparently, in one as slender as her. She guessed all those missed meals, when Happy was growing up and she was broke were taking their toll. Despite her best efforts to hide her discomfort, she knew Happy was worried about her. They might fight all the time, but they did love one another, and he would always be looking out for her.

"Happy, Lacy. Come in, come in." She hugged them both and led them into her cluttered lounge. "I've baked a chocolate cake, and there's home made lemonade. Would you like some." Lacy nodded enthusiastically and followed her into the kitchen. Nana Von was the best cook ever and her chocolate cakes were to die for. Happy wandered behind them, frowning at how stiff she seemed. "You got any beer?"

"In the fridge." She smiled as her son pulled out a bottle. Cake and lemonade would always be wasted on him. Cutting a large slice, she put it on the table in front of lacy. "You okay sweetheart?"

"Yeah."

"How's school? It must be good to catch up with all your old friends again."

"Yeah, it is." She sighed. "I want to get a house near to you, but Mom says it's a shit hole. She wants to get a place across town."

"Even if you get a place across town, you can still come and see me and your friends. It's only a bus ride away."

"I guess."

Happy and Yvonne exchanged a look. While neither could find fault with Mona wanting her kids to grow up in a decent neighbourhood, it was still looking like she was riding roughshod over Lacy's feelings. Happy slipped outside and lit a cigarette, closely followed by his ma. "Have you spoke to Mona?"

He shook his head. "To be honest ma, I'm trying to stay out of her way. She let Lacy down badly. I don't think I can forgive her this time."

"She did the right thing in the end."

"She accused Lacy of lying. No ma, it it hadn't been for me and Dee, that kid would still be there at the mercy of that asshole. She did the right thing because she was forced into a corner."

Yvonne nodded, watching her son closely. "Have you told Lacy you planning on moving to Tacoma?"

"Not yet. But I will. I know you aint keen on the idea, but it was something I always planned on doing eventually. And to be honest ma, I need the distance between me and M." His lips turned up into a tiny smile. "The last thing I need is that bitch sucking me back in."

"Even now? After everything you just said, you think that could happen?"

He shrugged. "I wish I could say no. But I really don't know. You have no idea, ma, how many times I've convinced myself that we're done, only to have her do whatever it is she does, and I've caved in again and I'm back where I started. I aint prepared to put myself in that position again."

"And Lacy? Where does she stand in all of this."

"I love that kid and I'll always try to do right by her."

"And me and Dee?"

"Same goes for you and Dee. You're my family, and I will always look out for you." He turned and headed back into the house. "I'll only be a day away."

Yvonne nodded and followed him back into the kitchen where she joined Lacy at the table. In the past, she would have fought Happy, tooth and nail over this. But she knew he was right. He needed to put some space between him and Mona, for everybody's sakes and he had proved, time and time again that despite his commitment to the sons, he would support those he considered to be his family.

Lacy smiled as Nana Von sat next to her. "This cake is great, you really are the greatest cook ever."

"High praise indeed. Listen sweetheart. How about you call your mom, ask her if it's okay to stay here tonight. I'm sure Jenny would love to see you and we can have a pizza and movie night like when you were little."

Lacy gave a squeal of delight and kissed her on the cheek. "Will you stay as well, Hap?"

He hadn't planned on it. "Sure sugar, why not. But no mermaids."

"I think you'll find I'm too old for mermaids now Hap."

"Good to hear." He grinned and kissed the top of her head. "So do you wanna take a ride with me, or are you gonna go an' see Jenny?"

"I'd really like to see Jenny. Do you mind?"

"Well obviously I'm broken hearted, but I'll survive."

Lacy giggled. "I really love you Hap."

"I know sugar. I love you too."

* * *

Dee watched as they all piled into Mona's new car ready to head off to their new house. Rob had given her a generous settlement, and hadn't fought her over anything. With the child support he would be paying, it looked as if Mona had fallen on her feet yet again. Dee sighed and raised her hand as they drove away. She would be lying if she said she was sorry to see them leave. She loved the kids and when she wasn't pissed with her, loved her sister. But it would be lovely to get her space back again. And maybe if Mona wasn't around, Happy would come visit next time he was in town.


	25. Chapter 25

I don't own sons of anarchy

TWENTY FIVE

Happy had always liked Tacoma. He had always viewed it as his second home. Like many of his nomad brothers he had based himself up north and the Tacoma clubhouse was often the place he would crash for the night.

He was one of those brothers who got along with everyone. He never bore grudges. If he had a problem with someone he would take them into the ring, beat the shit out of them and move on. As he walked out of church as Tacoma's latest patch, he couldn't help the broad grin spreading across his face.

Kozic grinned and hugged his brother. They had always been close, having prospected together in Charming. Happy was one of the few sons that had stood by him when his drug habit started to spiral out of control, if it hadn't been for him and, ironically, Tig he would have been stripped of his patch. The sons didn't care much, one way or another, about drug taking within it's ranks, but a junkie was a liability, and as a rule they had to go. It had taken Kozic over four years and several relapses before he would consider himself, truly clean. Of course in that time he had managed to mow down Tig's dog and, well, as a junkie sometimes he didn't always make the wisest decisions. He wasn't proud of the shit he had done, it had cost him his friendship with Tig and he had betrayed Happy's trust. If the killa ever found out what he did, he'd probably end up as another smiley face on his brothers abdomen.

The sons never really needed an excuse to party, but Happy was a popular choice, so him patching in meant they threw themselves into it with extra gusto and it wasn't long before a sweet butt approached him, pressing her surgically enhanced tits against his chest and promising him any number of delights. Oh yes, Happy loved Tacoma.

* * *

Dee stood with her back to the wall, sipping her champagne cocktail. She hated parties like this. Despite her degree and the fact that she had a successful career, she would always feel like a fraud. It didn't matter that she was dressed in head to toe designer gear, that her perfume cost three hundred bucks, or that the hairdresser she used had a month long waiting list. In her mind, she would always be the white trash daughter of a dead junkie and an unknown father. It was one of the reason she rarely dated, she was convinced that they would see through her façade, see her for what she really was.

She wasn't ashamed of her past, but she wasn't proud of it either, and she knew that in the circles she moved in now, it could hold her back. With a sigh, she fixed a smile to her lips and pushed herself away from the wall, time to mingle. Her boss was hugely ambitious and expected his staff to network as enthusiastically as he did. As she drifted through the crowd, accepting compliments with an incline of her head, she wondered what it would take to make her truly happy. She gave a tiny shake of her head, she knew the answer to that. Always had.

* * *

Mona was pissed, again. Despite moving to one of the more affluent suburbs of Bakersfield she wasn't happy. Her neighbours were stuck up and looked down their noses at her. Maybe if Lacy had agreed to go to the local high school rather than the one across town, they would have fitted in more. Or if she wasn't a divorcee, that for some reason all the women saw as a threat to their own marriages. Whatever the reason, she felt isolated and lonely.

She had started drinking again, just the odd glass of wine in the evening, and maybe one when Jack had his afternoon nap. It wasn't a problem, though. She had it under control. She just needed something to take the edge off. She gritted her teeth as Jack started to cry. Why couldn't he just shut up and why couldn't Lacy be here to help her look after him. How the hell was she supposed to cope on her own?

* * *

Lacy walked slowly down the street towards Nana Von's house, her school bag hanging from one shoulder as she chatted animatedly to her best friend, Jenny.

She would stay with Nana Von at least once a week. Her new house was fine, but she preferred the neighbourhood she was born in. She was also a little worried about Nana Von. She seemed to struggle getting out of her chair and she stooped slightly when she walked. She had told her not to worry, she was just getting old. Lacy guessed that could be the case, but always made a point of helping her with the house work. Nana Von had always been house proud and even if she was in pain would force herself to do her chores.

She sighed as she walked up the garden path, she knew that Nana Von missed Happy as well. She knew they talked on the phone, but it wasn't the same. Lacy missed Happy too. As much now as she ever did.

Yvonne smiled as she watched Lacy amble towards her front door. Slowly easing herself out of her chair, she made her way to the kitchen. Everything seemed to take twice as long these days. Wincing slightly she bent and pulled the baking tray out of the cupboard. Just because she had a few aches and pains, didn't mean she couldn't make sure Lacy had some decent home cooked food inside her at least once a week. She knew Lacy was concerned for her. She was growing up fast and it was getting hard to keep things from her. She had tried brushing it off, but she wasn't sure lacy was convinced. Well as long as she didn't share her worries with Happy, it would be fine. The last thing Yvonne needed was him fussing over her.

* * *

As the weeks turned into months, Happy's little family moved on with their lives. Dee signed up for another course and pretended that she'd always wanted a high powered career.

Mona's drinking became more frequent as she became more and more convinced that everyone was happy except her.

Yvonne continued to struggle on. Not mentioning to anyone how she eked out her medication because of the cost, or that she tended to sleep in her armchair as often as not. Some nights she just couldn't face the stairs.

Lacy juggled her schoolwork and helping out Nana Von, with taking care of Baby Jack. She knew her mom was drinking, despite her best efforts to hide it. She wondered sometimes whether she should tell anyone, but decided against it. She didn't want Jack taken away, Nana Von was in no state to look after a baby, Dee was always busy and Happy….Well she wasn't a little kid anymore, and she couldn't go running to him with every little problem. He didn't seem that interested anyway.

Every week Happy told himself that he would make time to go to Bakersfield and spend some time with his family, and every week, something came up that prevented that from happening. The phone calls from Lacy got less and less frequent and when he called her she didn't seem to want to talk much. He guessed she was growing up and didn't really need him any more. His ma had insisted they were all fine and he chose to believe her, ignoring the little voice that was telling him that maybe he should go home and see for himself.

* * *

Sometimes time just gets away with you and it was eight months before he found himself pulling up outside his ma's house. The front door flew open and Lacy raced down the garden path throwing herself into his arms. Laughing he hugged her tight, before holding her at arms length to get a better look at her. She was rapidly leaving the little girl she once was, behind. "Wow, sugar. You are growing up so fast."

Lacy grinned and with her hand in his led him towards the house where his ma was waiting in the doorway. "Hey ma." He kissed her on the cheek and frowning as she turned and led him into the house, limping slightly. "You okay?"

"Bit of a back ache. I'm fine." It was clear she wasn't, but he let it go.

After feasting on fajitas they all settled down to watch TV. Lacy snuggled against Happy with his arm around her shoulders. "Hap?"

"Yes sugar?"

"Can you take me to Dee's tomorrow. I haven't seen her for ages."

"Sure." He was planning on seeing her anyway. "Why haven't you seen her?"

"I dunno, she's busy, I guess."

Happy gave her a squeeze. "She's started another course. I guess that, with her job, takes up a lot of her time. Be worth it when she's a high flying lawyer, though."

* * *

It took all of Dee's self control not to throw herself into Happy's arms. She hugged her niece, her eyes never leaving him. "I'm sorry, sweetheart, I've been a terrible aunt. As soon as this course is done, I promise I will spend more time with you."

Lacy shrugged. "It's okay, I know you've been busy." She wandered into the lounge leaving Happy and Dee alone in the kitchen.

Happy reached out and touched her cheek. "You look tired."

"I'm okay." She smiled and leaned slightly into his touch. "I've missed you Hap." He was so close, she could almost taste him. Her hand came up, almost of it's own accord, and touched his chest. "Hap." It was barely a whisper.

"Dee?" Happy stiffened as she reached up on tiptoes and kissed him on the lips.

Dee's hands worked their way up his chest and snaked around his neck as she deepened the kiss. Happy placed his hands on her hips and gently pushed her away. "Dee, you have to stop."

"I'm, I'm sorry. I just wanted." She looked into his eyes. "I just wanted to know what it would be like."

"Why?"

"You really don't know?" She kissed him again. "I've wanted to be with you for so long, I don't know what it feels like not to want you."

"Why would you want someone like me? You could so much better." he ran his fingers through her hair. "You're a gre…."

"I know. I'm a great girl. Too good for the likes of you. I've heard it all before, Hap." She scowled. "Why can't you just be honest with me? I know I'm not beautiful like Mona."

"Shit Dee. Have you looked in the mirror recently? You might not be a blonde bombshell like M. But you are beautiful. Inside and out." He leaned down and kissed so softly, she could hardly feel his lips on hers. "I aint bullshitting you Dee. I aint the prize you think I am. You know how I felt about Mona, but there aint ever been a time that I wasn't fucking around on her. You are a beautiful, intelligent, successful woman. Trust me, you really could do so much better."

"And if I said I didn't care?"

He shrugged. "Don't make no difference. It aint that I don't care about you. But I would rather tear out my own heart than hurt you. You're my baby sister. I'm sorry Dee, that's all you'll ever be to me." He wiped a tear from her cheek. "Tell Lacy I'll pick her up later." Turning on his heel, he walked quickly from her condo, towards his bike.

"Where's Hap going?" Lacy walked into the kitchen. ""Are you okay?"

"I'm fine sweetheart. Hap will be back later." Dee gave a small smile. She'd known deep down that Happy would never love her like she wished he would. But at least now she'd actually heard it from his lips. Maybe it was time to grow up and stop acting like a love struck teenager. Happy was right. She was a successful, intelligent woman, maybe not beautiful like he said, but she sure as shit wasn't ugly. It was time Dee Miller took control of her life and moved on.


	26. Chapter 26

I don't own sons of anarchy

TWENTY SIX

Happy rode through the streets of his home town, trying to drown out the noise in his head. Dee was in love with him. How could he have not seen that?

He hadn't wanted to hurt her, but to lead her on would hurt her more. He couldn't help wondering how things would've turned out if it had been Dee and not Mona that he'd fallen in love with. He'd never take an old lady, he knew that. He believed that unless a man was prepared to be monogamous he had no right to ask a woman to be the same. With Mona it had never been an issue. He may have loved her, and she him, but they weren't exclusive, never had been. Sometimes, at times like this, he wondered what it was that was wrong with him. He knew he had loved Mona, so much he wanted to rip out his own heart, but he could never properly commit to her. Was it self preservation? A way of protecting himself from her? He'd always known she was flaky, that she would never refuse what she considered a better offer. That she would break his shrivelled black heart.

He knew though, that Dee deserved better. Someone who was prepared give her one hundred percent commitment. Happy did love Dee but he wasn't in love with her and up until five minutes ago he had thought she felt the same. He hadn't been lying to her when he said he wasn't a prize. He was a killer, a sadistic, nasty piece of work who thought nothing of hurting people. He wasn't the knight in shining armour she seemed to think he was. She had a career, real prospects. There was no way he could fit into her life or she into his.

Happy pulled over at a small diner and sat astride his Harley with his head in his hands. This was so fucked up. What was he supposed to do now?

* * *

Dee buttered the bread for Lacy's sandwich, all the time her words played over and over again. Shit how could she be so stupid? Why couldn't she have just kept her feelings to herself?

For nearly twenty years she had been in love with him. She wasn't a fool, she knew what he was, what he did, and she knew that being with him would jeopardise her career. She didn't care. Truthfully, a career in law wasn't something she'd particularly wanted. It wasn't that she didn't enjoy her work, but even after four years with the law firm that she worked for, she hadn't made any close friends. She guessed she would never really fit in there. She blinked away the tears that threatened to fall. For all those years she had watched her older sister play Happy for a fool and watched him let her. This remarkable man that she knew would kill, hell he'd die for those he loved. How could Mona treat him the way she did? She took a deep breath, took the sandwich into the lounge and joined Lacy on the sofa. She stared at the TV screen without seeing it. This was so fucked up. What was she supposed to do now?

Lacy wasn't sure what had just happened, one minute she and Happy were planning on spending the day with Dee, then next, Happy was storming out and Dee looked like she'd just been slapped. She had always thought that Dee and Hap would make a great couple. They both cared deeply for each other and unlike him and her mom, didn't spend all their time hurting one another. She was just a kid and didn't understand the complexities of adult relationships, but for the life of her she couldn't understand why someone would prefer to be with a person that hurt them than someone who would make them happy. She turned to her aunt. "Have you and Hap had a fight?"

"Oh no sweetheart. Me and Hap are fine."

Lacy nodded she knew that Dee wasn't being completely honest with her, but she didn't argue. She just wanted them to be okay.

She chewed on her thumbnail. She had wanted to tell Dee that she was worried about her mom, but now she wasn't so sure. Her aunt looked so sad and she didn't want to make her feel worse.

Dee frowned. "You got something on your mind, sweetheart?"

Lacy sighed. Dee was almost as good as Happy at winkling out information from her. "Mom's drinking all the time."

"Shit Lacy, how long has this been going on?"

"I dunno, a while, I guess."

"Why didn't you say anything?"

Lacy shrugged. "You've been busy. I don't think Nana Von's feeling so good and Hap was away. I didn't want to say anything to anyone else in case they take Jack away."

"Nana Von isn't feeling well? What's wrong with her?"

"I don't know, she says she's okay, but I don't think she is."

"Does Happy know?"

"Don't think so."

"Shit." Dee stood and pulled out her cell. "Hap? You need to get back here."

Happy didn't ask why. Whatever was going on between him and Dee could wait. He knew by the tone of her voice there was a problem and it probably involved Lacy or the baby. "I'll be there in ten."

He gunned the engine and headed straight back to her condo.

Dee let him in and led him into her small lounge. "Lacy says Mona's drinking again."

"Shit sugar. Why didn't you say anything?"

Lacy shrugged and looked at her hands. Happy sat next to her and pulled her into his arms. "What did I say about keeping things to yourself?"

"I'm sorry, Hap. You mad at me?"

"When am I ever mad at you? But you should have told someone."

Dee leaned on the doorframe. "It isn't just that, Hap. Lacy seems to think your mom isn't well."

Happy nodded, he could see how his ma's health had declined over the last few months. "I guessed as much. She insists she's okay, but it's pretty obvious that's bullshit."

"What we gonna do, Hap?"

"D'ya know what Dee? I don't fucking know." He ran his hand over his head. "There's no way I'm gonna ask ma to look after Jack."

Lacy sighed. "I can take care of Jack, I do it most of the time anyway."

"You have school, sugar." He kissed the top of her head. "I need to talk to ma. Try an' get her to be straight with me."

Dee frowned. This was going to fall on her. Again. "I'll talk to Mona."

* * *

Yvonne sat at her kitchen table as he son paced up and down. "Jesus ma, why didn't you tell me how much you've been struggling?"

"I didn't want you to worry."

"Well I'm worrying now." Happy sat opposite her and took her hand in his. "There must be something I can do."

"I'm fine."

"Ma!"

"Okay, okay. I could do with help with the cost of the meds. I'm supposed to take them every day, but I cant afford to."

"You got it. Anything else?"

She shook her head. "No, Lacy helps me round the house. She's a good girl."

"Yeah she is. Thing is, she's also taking care of the baby. Mona's drinking again."

"Oh no. Poor kid. She never said a word."

Happy took a deep breath. "Okay here's the plan. I will pay for your meds and for someone to come round a couple of times a week to help round the house. That will take the pressure off Lacy a bit and stop you from over doing it."

"And how are you going to be able to afford that?"

"Not your problem. You will just take the money and do as you're told."

"Okay. What about Mona?"

"I dunno, ma. I don't want to get sucked back into her life, but at the same time I don't wanna let Lacy down."

"And the baby?"

Happy shrugged. Although he didn't want anything bad to happen to him, Lacy's baby brother meant nothing to him. He hadn't bonded with him like he had with her. "I'm not taking on another of her kids, ma."

"So it falls on Dee again."

"I guess. Shit, ma. Don't look at me like that, I aint the villain here." He sighed "Fine I'll go an' talk to Mona. Not that it'll make any difference."

Yvonne smiled and patted her son's hand. "You know, deep down, you are a good man."

"No I aint, ma."

* * *

"Happy!" Mona threw her arms around his neck, frowning as she felt him stiffen.

"This aint a social call, M." He pushed her gently, but firmly away from him. "Lacy's worried. Says you're drinking."

"Jesus, it's just the odd glass of wine."

"You wont have a problem stopping then."

"Why would I stop?"

"Because, M, you have an addictive personality. You don't do anything in moderation."

"Oh here we go again. How dare you judge me? You have no idea how hard it is bringing up two kids on my own."

"Other people manage it." He scowled. "You didn't have to live here, away from those people who'd help you out. It was you that wanted to live in the fancy neighbourhood. Do you know what, M? You make me sick. You are financially secure, have nice home, two beautiful kids and it's still not enough. You wanna wallow in self pity, fine. But don't drag your kids down with you."

"Well maybe if you had been a proper old man in the first place, I wouldn't fuck up all the time."

"Oh so this is my fault, now?"

"I think you should take your share of the blame. You were never there for me. Not really." Her lip curled up into a sneer. Suddenly she didn't look so beautiful. "Oh you loved riding in to the rescue. Happy the hero. But the truth is, you were never committed to me. How many women have you fucked, Hap? All those years, you swore you loved me, you were screwing around."

"They never meant anything. And it wasn't as if you were sitting at home knitting." He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He wasn't here to rake over the past. "I think you should get on a programme, before this gets out of control."

"And if I say no?"

"I will call child services."

"You're bluffing."

"Try me. I don't wanna see your kids in the system. But if you aint prepared to help yourself, it may be the best place for them. I'm sick of watching everybody bail you out, over and over again. It's about time you took responsibility for your own actions." He turned to leave. "For once in your life M, do the right thing."


	27. Chapter 27

I don't own sons of anarchy

TWENTY SEVEN

"Hello my name is Mona Miller and I'm an alcoholic."

"Welcome, Mona. By coming here, you have taken the first steps towards your recovery. Why don't you share with us what led you to decide to turn your life around?"

"If I don't sober up. I'm going to lose my kids."

She knew Happy hadn't been bluffing. Something had shifted in their relationship. In the past, she had always been able to get around him, no matter how determined he was, she could always get him to cave. Now though, things were different. There was a wall around him. His eyes no longer softened when he looked at her. Happy had fallen out of love with her.

Mona knew she wasn't a good person. That there was something inside her that meant she didn't cope with what life threw at her like other people did. She didn't know if it was genetic, or some sort of chemical imbalance, but something drove her to drink or drugs as a way of getting through her life. Maybe it was just out and out selfishness. Whatever it was, it had to stop. For all her faults, Mona did love her kids, and she didn't want to lose them. She had destroyed Happy's love for her and driven a wedge between her and her sister. If she was honest, she was amazed they had put up with her for this long. But every one has their limit. You can only throw a person's love back in their face for so long. Sooner or later they will walk away. She'd always known that, deep down. But losing Happy had hurt her more than she could ever have envisioned.

* * *

Happy hadn't expected to feel the way he did when he saw Mona. Despite the distance between them, he had expected that rush that he always got when he laid eyes on her. What he hadn't expected to feel was…. Nothing. He had known for a long time that he didn't want to love her. It gave her power over him, it made him weak. Happy hated feeling weak. Now though, things were different. It was like he could see for the first time in his life. He'd been played over and over again, unable to resist her wiles. He'd always known, intellectually, that it was happening. But the other part of him, the weak part, told himself that she was just a victim, that she couldn't help it. He guessed that, subconsciously, he was afraid that if he didn't love her he would hate her. And he was afraid of how destructive that hate would be. But as he stood there watching her try to justify her actions, he realised, he didn't care. All he cared about was Lacy and, to a lesser extent, her brother. They were what was important here. He wasn't going to waste another ounce of energy on Mona. He had nothing left to give.

After leaving her house he'd rode for hours, trying to wrap his head around the day's events. It felt like something had died inside him. Maybe it had died a long time ago, but he hadn't noticed. Happy had no idea. All he was aware of was an all pervading sense of loss. He wanted to be angry, he knew how to deal with that. But this…this emptiness. No it wasn't even that. There was an emotion there, one he barely recognised. He must have felt it before, but he couldn't remember a time when he did. Happy felt… Sad.

It was dark when he let himself into his ma's house. She was still awake, waiting for him. "Did you see Mona?"

"Yeah." He slumped onto the sofa and put his head in his hands. "I'm done with her ma."

Yvonne had heard this before, but for some reason, this time she believed him. She reached out and took his hand. "I'm sorry son."

"Don't be. It was a long time coming, but it was bound to happen."

"Doesn't mean it hurts any the less, though." She smiled. "You loved her for a long time. Give yourself a little time, allow yourself space to grieve. You will love again."

"I doubt it ma."

She said nothing. She hoped that he would fall in love again. She knew what it was like to go through life alone. She had never allowed herself to fall in love after Happy's father had walked out. She had thought she was protecting herself, but now she knew she was wrong. She had just condemned herself to a life of loneliness. Not something she would wish on anyone.

He had left for Tacoma, early the next morning. He needed to get away. Needed long runs, meaningless sex and to just be able to drink himself into oblivion without anyone questioning him. When he arrived fourteen hours later, he was exhausted, with a thumping headache. Kozic and Quinn were leaning on the bar drinking their beers and putting the world to rights when he walked in. It was clear by his expression that he wasn't happy. Kozic would have just left him alone. He knew he'd been to Bakersfield which meant that the reason for his current mood was probably Mona and there was no way he was talking about her.

Quinn however had no such compunction. If Happy wanted to be left alone he would let him know. But they'd had each other's backs for a lot of years and it looked to him like his brother was hurting. And that meant that gash had got under his skin yet again. He followed his brother out back towards the dorms. "You okay, brother?"

Happy laid back on the bed and closed his eyes. "Nothing a good night's sleep wont fix."

"Okay, see you in the morning."

Happy opened his eyes. "Hey Quinn. Thanks."

"No problem. You know where to find me, if you need an ear." The big nomad closed the door and headed back into the bar.

Kozic looked up from his beer. "Hap okay?"

"He says he is. I'm guessing that bitch has got him all bent outta shape again." Quinn shook his head. "I love Hap, and I trust him more than anyone. But I will never understand how he can be brought down like that."

Kozic smiled. "You've never met her, have you?"

"I take it by that, you have?"

"Yeah a few years back. She's a real stunner, man. Knock any of the bitches here into the shade. Got a way about her, I dunno how to explain it. I mean she was fucked up when I met her. Real bad habit. But she has this…I dunno, charm I guess. Trust me, man. If you met her you'd understand why Hap gets so twisted up over her."

"Sounds like she weaved her magic over you too."

Kozic shrugged but said nothing. Oh he'd fallen for her charms. Hook, line and sinker.

* * *

Dee sat on the sofa with Jack on her lap. Mona had another AA meeting and she wanted to support her as much as she could. It was hard juggling work, her course and baby sitting but what choice did she have. Despite everything, she loved her sister and adored her niece and nephew. It would be nice, though, to have some help, but she couldn't put it on Yvonne and Happy had disappeared from their lives again so the burden had fallen on her. She resisted the urge to call him, just to hear his voice. She was trying to move on, she really was. She just missed him so very much.

* * *

Rob Hunter screwed the bank statement up and threw it across the room. That junkie whore was bleeding him dry and there was nothing he could do about it. As it was, the padre at the local church was asking awkward questions. Why couldn't that silly little bitch have kept her mouth shut and where did that biker scum get off, telling him what to do?

He'd had his eye on a divorcee down the road, or more specifically, her fourteen year old daughter. But he was broke and he needed money if he was going to win them over. He was beginning to regret ever getting involved with Mona and that little bitch of a daughter of hers. There had to be a way to get rid of them.


	28. Chapter 28

I don't own sons of anarchy

TWENTY EIGHT

Mona flinched as the door slammed and Lacy stormed out. She really didn't know how much longer she could put up with this. For the last two and a half years she had managed to stay, more or less, sober and she was proud of the way she was coping. Now Jack had started school, she had found herself a part time job and was actually acting like a grown up for the first time in her life. Not that she had much choice. The child support checks from Rob were pretty sporadic these days. It was only when she threatened him that any money was forthcoming. Sometimes she thought that she should have gone to the authorities. She worried that he could have another little girl in his sights. The only thing that was stopping her was the thought of Lacy having to give evidence. She knew a decent defence lawyer would tear her to shreds. So in the end she had decided to let it go. She had to put her daughter first. Something she should have done a long time ago.

Karma was a bitch and as soon as Lacy hit her teens she had started to turn into her mother. This year alone she'd had three temporary suspensions from school and was almost constantly on report. That's when she bothered to turn up of course. Mona rubbed her hand across her forehead. Nothing anybody said got through to her. All she wanted to do was hang out with that bunch of lowlifes she thought were her friends, getting up to god knows what. She had tried everything, but it seemed like history was going to repeat itself.

* * *

Lacy stormed down the street. Why couldn't her mom get off her back. She was such a hypocritical bitch and as far as she was concerned, had no right to tell her what to do.

If it wasn't her mom bitching at her, it was Dee giving her a hard time. Not that she saw much of her these days. Her aunt had moved to LA nearly two years ago and was now a pa to a top lawyer. It wasn't like she gave a shit about her niece anyway. All she cared about her precious career.

She contemplated going to see Nana Von. She hadn't been to see her for months and felt a little guilty for neglecting her. She knew she was in pain all the time, and struggled to get about. But spending time with her was so boring. She'd rather hang out with her friends. They were the only ones that understood her, unlike the adults in her life. Even Happy spent most of his time bitching at her. She didn't call him anymore and managed to avoid him when he was in town. He wasn't her dad, she didn't have to listen to him. It wasn't like he was perfect anyway. He was a son for fuck's sake, and everyone knew what they were like.

She turned as a mustang pulled up next to her. "Hey Lacy. Wanna take a ride?" She grinned and climbed into the car. She guessed it was stolen, but didn't care. All she wanted to do was have some fun and forget how shitty her life was.

She sat back and watched the scenery flash past. It had been so much easier when she was a kid. Before she'd realised just how dysfunctional her family really was. They were all so wrapped up in their own shit, that they didn't care about her. Not really.

It wasn't Nana Von's fault that she got old, but she didn't have to be so irritable and snippy all the time. It wasn't her fault Happy moved away or that she had a life now.

When Dee wasn't mooning around over Happy, she was climbing the career ladder. As soon as Lacy starting falling behind in school and skipping lessons she lost interest in her. She only cared about her when she was a perfect little girl. All her she bothered about now was her little brother.

Her mom. Shit, she hardly stand to be in the same room as her. Maybe if she hadn't been such a selfish bitch, Happy would have stuck around and they could have been like a normal family. But no, she had to drive him away. It wasn't like she knew who her real dad was, despite asking and asking. Her mom probably drove him away as well. All she'd ever wanted was to be loved, but the older she got, the more she felt like her mom thought she was an inconvenience, the cause of all her troubles.

Then there was Happy. If anything, he pissed her off more than the rest. She had loved him so much, trusted him. She had thought that, when they moved back to Bakersfield, she'd see more of him, that he'd be around more. But he moved away and she'd hardly seen him. On the rare occasions their paths did cross, he'd yell at her. According to him, she was letting herself down. What a fucking joke! He was always in and out of jail, nothing he did was legal. What would he know. It wasn't her fault that she couldn't keep up with her school work, she couldn't help being dumb. Why should she bother turning up when all that was going to happen was that she'd get yelled at by the teachers and picked on by the top bitches in the school.

She took a long drag on the joint her friend passed her and urged him to go faster. She knew his driving was on the ragged edge and there was a good chance they'd end up in a wreck, but she didn't care. Her life wasn't worth shit anyway. No one would really miss her.

* * *

Dee parked her Lexus outside her office and headed inside. She enjoyed her job and loved her apartment but she still couldn't shake that feeling of displacement and despite her best efforts, her feelings for Happy were as strong as ever. She knew she would never stop loving him. She had dated numerous men from all walks of life and none of them measured up in her eyes. She had contemplated moving back to Bakersfield. She knew Mona was struggling to keep Lacy on the straight and narrow and Yvonne wasn't getting any younger. Dee's career was important to her, but her family was always going to come first.

* * *

Happy rode past the 'Welcome to Charming' sign and gave a sigh of relief. He had been on the road for twelve straight hours, only stopping for gas or to piss. He loved to ride but even for him there was a limit to how long he could be on his bike before his muscles seized up and he lost all feeling in his ass. He would be in Charming for the best part of a month. They had several protection runs planned plus a large shipment of guns to be assembled and distributed and they were stretched pretty thin. Happy didn't mind helping out. He had missed the California sunshine and it would be nice to get the chance to spend some time in Bakersfield. He knew his ma wasn't well and he wanted to catch up with Lacy, from what he'd heard she was heading the same way as her mother. He wasn't sure he could fix that, but he sure as shit, could try.

* * *

Rob sat in the small, stinking cell with his head in his hands. Stupid, stupid, stupid. It hadn't occurred to him when he took his laptop in to be repaired that the guy there would look at what was on his hard drive. All those pictures. Shit, there was no way he was going to convince the court that he believed they were eighteen. And now his lawyer was saying the prosecution wanted to contact Mona and talk to Lacy. Shit. Why had he left those photos on there? The one glimmer of hope was that it looked like he would get bail. He was going to have to go to Bakersfield and shut those bitches up. Pictures on your hard drive was bad enough. But grooming. Shit. He'd do hard time for that.

* * *

Lacy leaned on her front door and watched as Happy dismounted. In the past she would've ran into his arms, but now all she wanted to do was run in the opposite direction. She couldn't believe her mom had called him and ratted on her. So she got arrested? So what? She hadn't been charged with anything. It hadn't been her who stole the car. She looked up and her eyes met his as he marched up the garden path. Shit, he was furious. She swallowed. "Hap?"

He scowled. "You got all your shit?"

She nodded. This was bad. Her mom had been so pissed, she'd asked Happy to come and take her to Charming for a few days till she'd calmed down and, amazingly, he'd agreed. At first she'd thought it was a good idea, so keen was she to stay out of her mom's crosshairs. But now, looking at the expression on his face, she realized that her mom would be a picnic compared to a pissed off Happy. Shit. This was very bad indeed. "Hap. You mad?" Stupid question, she knew.

"Just get on the bike, Lacy. I aint getting into it, here."

"Hap?"

"Just get on the Goddamned bike." Lacy took a step back. It wasn't the first time he'd yelled at her. In fact, these days it was pretty commonplace. But it was the first time she'd been scared of him. Happy shook his head and reached out to her. "I aint gonna hurt you sugar. But please. Do as you're fucking told."

The instant he touched her, everything was alright. The belligerent fourteen year old disappeared and in her place stood the little girl who loved him more than anything. Yes she had fucked up and, yes, he was mad. But he loved her and she loved him. She allowed him to pull her into his arms. "I'm sorry Hap."

He kissed the top of her head. "What am I gonna do with you? C'mon let's get you to Charming."


	29. Chapter 29

I don't own sons of anarchy

TWENTY NINE

The sons had a reputation for being a lot of things. They were violent criminals, womanisers. Hell they were killers. What people were less aware of, was that they gossiped more than a bunch of old washer women, and right now their latest subject was climbing off the back of Happy's bike and following him across the TM lot, towards the clubhouse.

Chibs craned his neck to get a better view. "Shit, I know Hap likes 'em young. But there's no way that's legal."

"Nah there's no way he's hitting that, she's just a kid. Hap likes his women to know what they're doing. Sweet little virgins aint his scene." Bobby lit a cigarette. "Think he likes his women to have tits as well."

Tig rolled his eyes and pushed himself away from the picnic table. "You better not let him hear you talk about her like that. That's his kid."

"Hap has a kid?" Juice's jaw dropped open. "Nah I'd have known."

Bobby chuckled. "That can't be Hap's kid. She's a pretty girl."

"She don't share his DNA, but if you ask, that's what he'll tell you." Tig followed Happy and Lacy towards the clubhouse.

Chibs shook his head. "She reminds me of someone, but for the life of me I can't think of who it is." He stood and followed Tig, trying to figure out just who it was she reminded him of.

Lacy couldn't remember the last time she felt so uncomfortable. It was clear from the moment she climbed off the back of Hap's bike that she was going to be the center of attention. "Am I going to be staying here?"

"No sugar. We're gonna stay at Tig's place, I just need to get the key from him."

"Okay." She looked up as Tig walked in, closely followed by another son with deep scars across his cheeks. Lacy wrapped her arms around herself and shrunk closer to Happy. She'd never really thought about it before, but these guys were pretty intimidating and as much as she wasn't looking forward to being alone with Happy- she was pretty sure he wasn't going to let her off lightly- she didn't want to stay here a moment longer than she needed to.

Happy gently laid his hand on her shoulder as they approached. "You remember Tig, don't you? And the ugly fucker with him is Chibs" He grinned. "Don't worry if you can't understand him, he Scottish, we can't understand him either."

Tig grinned and handed Happy his key. "I sent the prospect round to clean the place up. It's all yours for as long as you need it."

Lacy frowned. "Aren't you staying there?"

"Nah, doll. It's only got two bedrooms and I aint sharing with that ugly fuck. I can sleep here." Tig laughed. "An' I reckon he'll want somewhere private for when he rips you a new one."

Lacy paled and Happy scowled at his brother. "Way to go Tigger." Taking her hand he led her back outside. He had planned on leaving her here while he was in chapel, he could see now, that was a mistake. She may have been mouthy round him at times, but here in the clubhouse he was reminded that she was still a kid and was nowhere as tough as she thought she was.

He had nearly made it back to his bike when Gemma stepped out of her office. Shit, he had kind of hoped he'd be able to slip under her radar. He could tell by her expression that she wasn't happy about him bringing such a young girl to the club.

"Happy. Are you going to introduce me to your little friend?"

"Gemma, this is Lacy. She'll be staying with me at Tig's for a while. She and her mom have got some shit going on. They need a bit of space from each other."

Gemma gave a tight little smile. "Hi Lacy. I'm Gemma. Welcome to Charming."

Lacy smiled and opened her mouth to speak, only to be dragged away by Happy. The last thing he wanted was Gemma getting into his shit. She may have been the queen in Charming, but as far as he was concerned she was just an old lady and old ladies should know their place. "Hap. That was pretty rude."

"Don't give a fuck, sugar. C'mon let's get you to Tig's."

* * *

The prospect had done a half decent job and Tig's place was tidy and smelled fresher than the last time he had visited. Happy dropped her bag on the lounge floor. "You can have Tig's room. It's at the top of the stairs on the right. Don't worry, the sheets are clean."

"Okay." She frowned as he stared to leave. "Where you going?"

"Back to TM. Got church. Don't worry sugar I wont be long. I'll pick up a pizza on my way back."

"Okay. Hap?"

"Yes sugar."

"I'm sorry I'm such a fuck up."

"You aint a fuck up, Lacy. You're a teenager. We'll figure this out."

Lacy was curled up, fast asleep on the sofa, when he got back. Happy smiled. She'd always slept like that, curled up in a tight little ball. He put the pizza on the coffee table and sat on the other end of the sofa. She stirred and sat up stretching like a cat. "Oh, I fell asleep."

Grinning, he slipped his arm around her shoulder and pulled her closer. "You always were a lazy bitch."

"Hap! I was not."

They ate their pizza and watched some crappy cop show. Neither wanting to talk about the reason she was there. Happy couldn't shake the feeling that he was somehow responsible for her behaviour. Mona was doing her best, but she couldn't rein her daughter in. And with Dee not around and his ma too frail to take care of her, it fell to him to keep Lacy in line.

Lacy stared at the TV screen and chewed on her thumb nail. She knew they had to talk about the stuff she'd been doing. She had thought she was angry with him but as soon as they were together, all her resentment disappeared. Unlike her mom who just went on and on at her, Happy would blow up at her when he was pissed but as soon as he'd said his piece he would drop it. He never saw any point going over old ground. She took a deep breath. Suddenly all she wanted was to get this over with. "Hap?"

"Yes sugar?"

"Are you pissed with me?"

"I aint exactly thrilled with you, Lacy. I mean, getting in a stolen car with that douche. Your mom said the cops reckoned it was a miracle he didn't wreck it, the way he was driving." He shook his head. "Fuck, sugar. I thought you were smarter than that."

"That's the point, though. I'm not smart. I'm stupid."

"No you aint."

"Tell that to my teachers. They seem to think I am." She sighed. "Why do you think I skip school all the while? It's just so hard. The other kids don't seem to find it a problem, but I can't keep up. Every time I try to read, it's like the words are dancing around on the page, and when I try to write my spelling is so bad, and I get the letters all muddled up."

"Have you tried to talk to anyone about this?"

"Oh sure I'm gonna tell someone that I'm fourteen years old and so dumb, I can't read."

"I don't think you're dumb. I think you may be dyslexic. Although, what I don't understand, is how it could've been missed."

Lacy shrugged. "I think I got good at hiding it. When I was in Junior school, I'd copy from my friends, and at high school, if I couldn't do that, I'd just not hand work in. If there are classes where I have to read out loud, I don't bother turning up. Or if I am there, I'll kick off, so they send me out." She laughed. "I'd rather they think I'm disruptive and a trouble maker, than stupid."

"You aint stupid. I told you. But we are gonna get to the bottom of this."

"Okay. Hap?"

"Yes sugar?"

"How come you thought of this when no one else did?"

"Got a buddy in Tacoma who's dyslexic. What you described is almost word for word how he explained it." He grabbed the last slice of pizza. "It doesn't excuse your behaviour though."

"I know. It's just… I get so angry sometimes. I wish I could explain it. I just want to lash out, hurt someone, hurt myself."

Happy nodded. "Isn't there someone you can talk to about this?"

"You."

"Yeah, but I aint always around. Can't you talk to your mom?"

"No. she's just so stressed all the time. It's like every day is so hard for her and I'm just making it worse."

"What about Dee?"

"I haven't spoken to her for months. I think she's disappointed in me." She rested her head on his shoulder. "There's only you, Hap."

Happy gave her a squeeze. He was going to have to talk to Mona. As far as he could see there was only one solution but he didn't think her mom would like it.

* * *

Tig sat on the picnic table and took a long drag on his joint. He turned as Chibs sat next to him and snatched the joint away. "You okay brother?"

"Yeah, just waiting for Tacoma to turn up."

"You gonna be alright with Koz being here?"

"Don't look like I got much choice. With Hap playing happy families. We need him to make up the numbers. As long as he stays outta my way, we'll be fine."

They looked up as the roar of Harleys split the air, and their Tacoma brothers pulled onto the lot. They watched as they killed their engines and headed towards the clubhouse. Suddenly Chibs sat up straighter. "That's who she reminded me of."

Tig looked over to where Kozic was standing, running his hands through his hair. "Whatever you think you know, brother, keep it to yourself."

"You mean Hap doesn't know? The resemblance is uncanny."

Tig shrugged. "If he does, he aint saying."

Chibs nodded. "Maybe he's in denial."

"Maybe. What I do know though, is that it aint our business. As much as I'd like to see that blonde douche get a beat down, right now club business comes first. We got a lotta shit needs doing and we don't need personal shit getting in the way."


	30. Chapter 30

I don't own sons of anarchy

THIRTY

Happy couldn't deny the feelings of guilt. He should've been on the protection run to Tucson, instead, here he was baby sitting. It wasn't Lacy's fault. If he's been there for her in the first place, they wouldn't be in this situation. There was no doubt that without intervention, she was going to end up going the same way as Mona. He took a deep breath. "Lacy, sugar. I've been thinking, maybe when I go back to Tacoma, you should come with me."

"But I don't know anyone in Tacoma. All my friends are in Bakersfield."

"That's exactly why you should be moving away."

"Yes but…."

"But nothing. If you keep on hanging with those assholes, you're gonna get deeper and deeper in the shit. Lacy, you're a bright girl. I aint prepared to sit back and watch you throw your life away."

"There's no way Mom will agree."

"Actually, I spoke to your mom earlier. She thinks it's a good idea. To be honest, sugar, I think she's reached the end of her rope."

"Ha. Should've known she'd want to get rid of me."

"No you're wrong. She's scared that history is going to repeat itself."

"I am not my mom!"

"Driving around in stolen cars, drinking, smoking weed. No you're nothing like your mom." He pointed a finger at her. "Don't try an' fight me over this."

"So you're going to bully me into doing what you want?"

"If that's what it takes, sugar."

Lacy scowled and hugged her knees. She knew there was no point in fighting with him. He'd made up his mind. And when happy made up his mind, there was no changing it. Happy sat next to her and put his arm round her shoulders. "I know this isn't what you want. But it is for the best."

"And what about when you're on a run? You just gonna leave me on my own?"

"There are people that will look out for you. We'll figure it out."

"I really hate you sometimes."

"No you don't." He kissed her on the cheek. "I'm gonna go out for a little while. There's someone I need to talk to. Will you be okay here, or do you want to wait at TM?"

"I'll wait here. I can watch TV or something." There was no way she was going back to the clubhouse. Those guys were scary.

* * *

The bluebird warehouse was situated just outside of Charming. Happy passed the sacks of birdseed to where Bobby, Kozic and a couple of Mexican girls were assembling the AK's ready for sale. "Koz, man. You got a minute?"

"Sure." Kozic followed his brother out side and joined him on a stack of pallets. "Problem?"

Happy looked out over the trees, not sure how he was going to broach the subject. Finally he decided that the direct approach was the best way. "I'm gonna bring Mona's kid back to Tacoma with me when I go. Kid's got some issues, needs to get away from Bakersfield."

"Okay." Kozic wasn't sure he was happy with the way this conversation was heading.

"Yeah. So I was thinking. It's about time she got to know who her father is."

"Oh. I'm guessing, that you think it's me."

"No. I know it's you."

"Mona say something?"

"No."

"So how….."

"I might look stupid. But I got eyes. I know how you were sniffing round her when I was locked up. I always had my suspicions. Obviously I didn't want to believe that my best friend would be fucking my woman. But as the years went on, I couldn't kid myself anymore."

"I'm sorry. I don't know what else to say."

Happy shrugged. "Aint much you can say. If I had my way you'd never get to lay eyes on her. In fact you should be grateful that you're still breathing."

"So what's changed?"

"Lacy has been asking about her real dad." He gave a short, humourless laugh. "Guess that means I can't kill you."

"Why didn't you? I betrayed you."

"Yes you did. Don't think I didn't want to. Part of me still does." He shrugged. "I know technically Mona has never been my old lady, you're my brother and I love you, but I will never forgive you for what you did."

"Yet you backed me when Clay wanted to strip me of my patch."

"I aint a vindictive man."

"So what happens now?"

"If she wants to meet you. You agree. But you will play no part in her life. You may have knocked her mom up, but she aint your kid. She's mine."

"Okay."

Happy stood. "One more thing. You hurt her in any way. I will kill you."

Kozic watched his brother and best friend as he walked away. He had always known that this moment would come. But he hadn't expected to be let off so lightly. He gave a rueful grin, it did explain, though, some of the beat downs in the ring Hap had given him in the past. He guessed that as far as Happy was concerned, keeping him away from Lacy was punishment in itself. He knew his brother adored that kid and would never be able to fathom how anyone wouldn't want to be part of her life. He also knew he would never be able to forgive himself for betraying his best friend. The only justification he could offer was that he wasn't in his right mind at the time and Mona had insisted her and Hap were done. He believed that Happy was a better man than him, he was sure if he was in the same position he wouldn't be so forgiving.

* * *

Dee drove through the streets of Charming searching for the sons' clubhouse. Since Mona had returned to Cali, her sister had made a point of keeping tabs on Rob. Sometimes working for a law firm had it's advantages and she had used her contacts on the east coast to keep her in the loop. His arrest had not really come as a surprise, he was bound to slip up sooner or later. Hearing that the DA wanted to talk to Lacy regarding a further charge of grooming and possible sexual assault and that he had made bail was worrying. Dee decided that she needed to talk to Happy. It was time for someone to put a stop to that asshole once and for all, in the way that only he could do.

If only her heart would stop pounding and her mouth wasn't so dry. Giving herself a mental kick up the ass, she was there to talk to happy about how to deal with Rob. Nothing else.

* * *

Happy strutted across the TM lot with Lacy dragging her heels behind him. He felt bad for bringing her with him, but he couldn't keep leaving her at home and he was determined that she was going to do as she was told. Starting now.

Juice looked up. "Hey Hap. There's a real hot chick looking for you."

Happy frowned. "What chick?"

"Latina, tight little body nice rack. Tig took her into the clubhouse."

"Dee, Shit." The last thing she needed was Tig pushing up on her. He stormed into the clubhouse. "Trager! Leave her alone."

Tig spun round, his face a picture of innocence. "I'll have you know, Lowman. I have been a complete gentleman. Aint that right doll?"

"Absolutely." Dee giggled and Happy felt something stir inside him. He wasn't jealous, but he really wasn't comfortable with the idea of Tig hitting on her. Dee was a classy lady, not the usual skanky whores that he went after.

Dee hugged her niece. "Hi baby girl. It's so good to see you."

Lacy returned the hug, surprised by this obvious show of affection. "What are you doing here?"

"I wanted to see you." Dee kissed her cheek. "Can you give me and Hap a few minutes? I promise as soon as I've spoken to him, we'll have a proper catch up."

With a sigh Lacy watched as her aunt and Happy wandered off into a quiet corner. Tig gave her shoulder a squeeze. "C'mon doll. Let's go and raid the kitchen, there's bound to be some of Bobby's banana bread and Gemma's meatloaf in there." He led her into the kitchen, giving Hap and Dee some privacy. The kid didn't need to hear what they were going to discuss.

"Why you here Dee?"

"Rob's been arrested. Prosecution want to talk to Lacy."

"Okay. And how does that involve me?"

"He made bail. I've just got a bad feeling, Hap."

He nodded. "I should have put a stop to that fucker a long time ago." He gave a tight smile. "Oh well. Better late than never. Looks like I've got a road trip out east coming up."

"Wouldn't it be better to fly. I can pay for a ticket."

"No. I don't want anything to put me in the area. I'll use a car, share the driving with someone. We can do it in a couple of days, three at the most."

"Okay. Hap, this is the right thing to do isn't it?"

"Oh yes it is."


	31. Chapter 31

I don't own sons of anarchy

THIRTY ONE

Kozic couldn't help wondering whether if this was a good idea. But as he threw his bag into the back of the van, he knew his wasn't in a position to refuse. He was Lacy's father- biologically at least- and as such, had an obligation to accompany Happy across country to put an end to the asshole that had hurt his kid. However the thought of being trapped with the man that had professed his desire to see him dead for at least the next five days wasn't a prospect he relished. The only consolation was that Quinn had agreed to travel with them. Hopefully the big nomad being there would stop the atmosphere from getting too uncomfortable.

The plan was to share the driving between them, and with a following wind, they should be in Miami in forty eight hours. It wasn't going to be pleasant in fact it was Kozic's idea of hell, but despite no obvious link between him and his target, Happy was keen to fly under the radar. Kozic couldn't argue with that. One of the reasons Happy was so good at what he did, was that he never took unnecessary risks. He never wanted his actions to blow back on him or his loved ones.

Quinn leaned on the van, smoking a cigarette. He too wasn't keen on the idea of spending the best part of a week stuck in a van with two of his brothers. He was a loner by nature, most nomads were. It wasn't that he didn't love his brothers, he did. But he loved the solitude of, just him, his Harley and the open road for days on end. It was testament of his affection for Happy that he had agreed to this. His brother had saved his life on more than one occasion and, fuck, he owed him.

Juice handed Happy a printout of all the information he could find on the asshole. Happy still wasn't completely clear on how he was going to do this, but he figured that by the time he arrived in Miami he'd know what he was going to do. His first priority was to ensure that no matter what he did, it wouldn't blow back on Lacy or Mona.

It had gone against his every instinct to leave that fucker alive when he'd first realized what he was doing. But it had been Dee who had persuaded him that it would be better for Lacy and Jack if he was alive and paying child support. He felt his jaw clench. He should have known better than to let a chick sway him. Even one as smart as Dee.

He climbed into the driver's seat and waited for Kozic and Quinn to join him. "Okay brothers. Let's roll."

* * *

Dee glanced at her niece sitting in the passenger chewing on her thumbnail. She knew Lacy wasn't thrilled with the prospect of living with Happy in Tacoma. She didn't want to be away from her friends and she knew he wouldn't take any shit from her. "You do realize that Hap is insisting you move in with him because he thinks it's what best for you, right?"

"Happy don't know shit."

"He knows that if you carry on behaving the way you have been. You're going to end up getting arrested, of worse. I'm sure he'd rather not be saddled with a hormonal teenager with a bad attitude. But he loves you Lacy and he will always do what he thinks is best for you."

"Sure he does. That's why after less than a week he's disappearing and leaving me with you."

"He has shit that needs taking care of, and you need to get your stuff together ready for your move. He'll be back in about a week and will pick you up from Bakersfield."

"I'm not going. He can't make me."

"You keep telling yourself that, sweetheart."

* * *

Happy tried as best he could to wash himself with the tepid water that dribbled from the faucet in the, frankly disgusting restroom at the back of the run down gas station. They were only ten miles outside of Miami and, like his brothers and the inside of the van, he smelt bad. They had made good progress, only making the occasional stop for gas, to pee or to grab a coffee and some food. The mattress in the back had proven useful and all three of them had managed to grab a few hours sleep. He had felt bad asking this of his brothers, particularly Quinn, who absolutely hated not being on his bike. But he needed them and it was certainly right that Kozic was there. It wouldn't kill him to man up and take responsibility for once.

* * *

Rob couldn't believe how quickly his life had turned to shit. He may have made bail, but he'd had to remortgage his house to do it and now the company he worked for had suspended him until after his trial. Whatever happened to 'innocent until proven guilty?' He paced up and down his lounge. His lawyer had argued successfully that he wasn't a flight risk, but he was beginning to think he would have to prove him wrong. He knew what happened to sex offenders in prison and he had no intention of that happening to him. A sudden noise stopped him in his tracks and he spun round. "You!"

"Yep. How you doing, asshole? Not so good, I'm guessing." Happy grinned and pressed his Glock against Rob's temple. "Well, lucky for you I'm giving you a way out."

"I…I…Are you going to kill me?"

"No, I'm gonna take you out for dinner and then maybe a movie. Of course I'm gonna Kill you, fuckwit. However because I am a compassionate man, I'm gonna make it quick and clean, and not slow and painful like I really want to." He reached into his inside pocket and pulled out a bottle of vodka. "Here, drink."

"And if I refuse?"

"It will be all the more painful for you, and I get a bottle of vodka." Happy shrugged. "It's all the same to me. Either way you're going to die."

"I could run."

"Go right ahead. I suggest you use the back door. The guy guarding the front is Lacy's father, he aint much of a dad but I'm sure he'll get huge pleasure from seeing you suffer. Of course, the guy guarding the back is a real psycho, big fucker too. Probably kill you with his bare hands. Nope, all in all, I think I'm your best option."

Rob took a deep breath and grabbed the bottle. "I never touched her."

"And for that reason alone, you have survived as long as you have. Now drink."

He drank, gagging at the bitter taste. "What?"

Happy smiled. "Barbiturates. Now let's take a walk to the bathroom."

Staggering slightly, Rob complied. He rarely drank and wasn't sure whether it was the drugs or the alcohol, but he was already having trouble, even thinking straight.

Once in the bathroom, Happy started to fill the bath. "Now strip."

For a moment it looked like he wasn't going to do it, but the feel of the gun at his temple was enough for him to do as he was told. Rob knew it was stupid, this biker scum was going to kill him either way. Why make it easy for him. But as he looked into those cold black eyes, he knew the answer. Happy really would enjoy making him suffer.

Once naked, Happy looked him up and down and smirked. "I can see why Mona still wanted to fuck me. Now get in the bath."

"I.."

"Do you enjoy pain, shithead? Cos I sure as fuck enjoy inflicting it. Now get in the fucking bath."

Rob's head was swimming as he sat in the tub and he hardly struggled as, using a rolled up towel to minimize bruising, Happy pushed him under the water.

Happy put the bottle containing the remaining pills into the medicine cabinet and dropped the vodka bottle into the bath water. On his way out he threw the towel into the washing machine, then hopped over the back fence to where his brothers were waiting- he had lied about them standing guard.- Quinn started the engine as Happy climbed into the passenger seat. "Done?"

Happy grinned. "Looks like the pressure got to him. Vodka, Barbs and a hot bath is a lethal combination."

* * *

It was three days before Rob's body was found. As far as the police were concerned, there were no suspicious circumstances. He was under suspicion for child abuse and it looked he'd taken the easy way out. There was no sign of forced entry and no one remembered the anonymous black van parked out the back. By the time Rob's corpse was being wheeled out of his house. Quinn was back on his beloved bike, Kozic was headed for Tacoma and Happy was loading Lacy's stuff onto the back of a van, telling himself that it wasn't cruel to the prospect to expect him to spend the day trapped with her and her attitude.

Dee couldn't stop the grin from spreading across her face and Happy scowled. "You're loving this aint you?"

"It was your idea." She laughed. "I just can't wait to see badass, Happy Lowman brought to his knees by a mere slip of a girl."

"I aint scared."

She kissed him on the cheek. "Course you're not."

He gently pushed her hair away from her face. "Maybe you should come up to Tacoma and help me out."

"Maybe I will."

As he rode along the freeway, checking his mirrors for the van containing a very harassed looking prospect and an incredibly moody, Lacy, Happy's mind drifted towards Dee and her soft lips against his cheek. He had known her since she was a baby and had never looked at her as anything other than his kid sister, but recently he had started to see her differently. He still believed she was too good for the likes of him, but he found himself wanting her. She was clever, compassionate and, he was starting to realize, hot. Shit. He was such an idiot. All those years he spent, bewitched by Mona's charm, when the real beauty was right under his nose all along.


	32. Chapter 32

I don't own sons of anarchy

THIRTY TWO

"Fuck my life." Lacy collapsed on the bed with a sigh. She hated it here. Unlike Bakersfield, Tacoma was cold and boring, and the sprawling school they had visited was huge and intimidating. Then there was Happy's apartment. She doubted she'd ever seen anywhere less homely. The shelves were devoid of any ornaments and no pictures decorated his walls He had what he needed, nothing else.

Why the fuck couldn't he butt out of her life. All she wanted was to hang out with her friends and to be left alone but, no, for the first time in her life he decided to take a proactive role in her upbringing.

She had been there for less than a month and all they'd done was fight. No, fight was the wrong word. No matter how much she yelled, or slammed doors, or threw stuff, he remained implacable. She would go to school every day, would do her homework, she wasn't going out on a school night unless she was with him and she wasn't getting her cell phone back until he decided she'd been punished enough for stealing his cigarettes. He didn't nag like her mom. If she didn't pick up after herself, he would just gather the stuff off the floor and throw it in the trash. Shit, at this rate she'd soon be running around naked. She closed her eyes. If she was going to win this battle of wills, she was going to have to try a different approach. She had two days before she was due to start at her new school and she was determined that wasn't going to happen. Ha! By the time she'd finished with him he would be desperate to get her back to Bakersfield.

* * *

Happy Lowman was tough, everybody knew that. He was the guy you wanted to have your back when you went to war. Whether it was, a fist fight or an out and out gun battle, he never shied away. He was forty three years old and had been shot, stabbed and beaten. He wasn't afraid of pain, wasn't afraid to die. So why was he sitting on his bike outside his apartment block, freezing his balls off, too scared to go inside and face a skinny teenager who probably didn't have the strength to fight her way out of a paper bag.

It should be easy, she was just a kid for fuck's sake. He told her what to do and she did it. He shook his head, he was developing a whole lot of respect for parents everywhere. How the fuck did they do it?

Lacy was due to start her new school in two days time and he knew that was going to be tricky, to say the least. He'd searched long and hard for the most suitable school and had a long chat with the principle explaining how she'd had a tough time growing up and that he suspected that she was dyslexic, and as a result Lacy was to be assessed and would be put in smaller classes where she could get the help she needed. Of course she didn't appreciate all the trouble he'd gone to. Oh no, she'd kicked off, big time. There was no way she was going into a class full of retards. Shit that girl could cuss. Even his brothers didn't use language like that. Her aim was pretty good too. He ran his hand over the bruise on his temple. He only hoped she never got her hands on one of his guns. He couldn't quite figure how he'd managed to go from hero to villain in such a short time, but when he tried to talk about it to his mom or to his brothers with teenage kids they'd just laughed and told him he'd figure it out. Well he'd better do it soon, before one of them wound up dead. Gritting his teeth, he dismounted, dreading what he was coming home to.

* * *

Kozic leaned on the bar in the clubhouse and chewed on his thumbnail. It was Friday night, but as soon as church was over, Happy had headed off home. It was clear that taking care of Lacy wasn't exactly turning out to be a walk in the park and Kozic wondered if he should offer to help in some way. He knew Happy had made it clear that he should take no part in her upbringing but it was also blindingly obvious that his brother was floundering, and, well at the end of the day, she was his kid. Whether Happy liked it or not.

He looked up as Lorca joined him at the bar. "Hap gone home?"

"Yeah." Kozic grinned. "Kid duty."

"Poor fucker. Reckon he's bitten off more than he could chew."

Kozic nodded, he knew how much his brother loved that kid and he only wanted what was best for her. But it was clear she was running rings round him and in less than a month, he swore he'd aged ten years.

* * *

"Lacy, where you at?" Happy stalked through the apartment. "Lacy?"

"In here." She sighed and dragged her self from the bedroom.

He frowned. "You been crying?"

"Maybe." She sniffed and looked at him through her lashes. Happy hated it when she cried.

"Why?"

"Cos I hate it here. I miss my friends, I miss mom and Jack."

"Then I suggest you up your game sugar, cos unless I think you're prepared to turn your life around, you're staying right here."

"I fucking hate you!"

"No you don't sugar. Oh, and tears aint gonna wash with me. I spent years dealing with your mom and trust me, you got a long way to go before get as good as her."

"I do. I really, really fucking hate you."

"If you say so, sugar." He grinned and ducked as her glass whizzed past his ear. "And if that had my bourbon in it, you're grounded for another week."

"It was soda, asshole."

"You need to watch your mouth. Lacy. I'm getting sick of you disrespecting me."

"An' if I don't?"

"You're gonna see a side of me that I'd rather you didn't."

"You don't scare me."

"Well I should."

"So that's it is it, Hap? You gonna intimidate me?"

"Depends on how much you wanna push me, sugar. Cos, trust me, you're getting dangerously close to finding out just how intimidating I can be."

Lacy swallowed and took a step back. She knew, deep down, that he would never hurt her. She also knew she was pushing him to his limit. He may have loved her, but as she looked into his eyes, right now, she couldn't see it. Suddenly, she was scared. Not of what she thought he could do. But of losing his love.

The tears that rolled down her cheek were no longer fake. "Don't hate me, Hap."

"Oh sweetheart, I could never hate you." He pulled her into his arms. "But you gotta stop fighting me on everything."

"I don't want to but I'm scared Hap. What if I don't fit in at this new school?"

"We'll find you a different one."

"I still miss my friends."

"You'll make new friends. Tacoma's a friendly town."

"You're gonna have an answer for everything aint you?"

"Yup, you know it girl."

Lacy pressed her face into his chest and closed her eyes. "I hate you, Hap."

"You keep telling yourself that, sugar."

* * *

Dee shivered as the cold Seattle wind whipped around her. Shit, hap. Why couldn't you live somewhere warm. As soon as she got into her hire car, she turned the heater up full and drove off in the direction of Tacoma. She had told herself that the reason she was going, was because Lacy was proving to be a handful and Happy needed a helping hand. The truth, though, was that she wanted to see him. She wanted to see Lacy as well, she loved her niece. But it was Happy who was tugging at her heart.

Something had happened the last time they saw each other. She couldn't quite put her finger on, just something about the way he looked at her. She was almost afraid to believe that he could feel the same way about her as she did him. She often berated herself for being so pathetic, but she had tried to stop loving him. Hell she'd even got married. Of course the man she'd married turned out to be a complete asshole and used her as punch bag. Maybe it was because she'd had no father when she was growing up that, when it came to men, her compass her off. But nothing could persuade her that she was wrong about Happy.

Lacy paced up and down Happy's lounge. Dee was coming to stay for a few days and she couldn't wait to see her. She had been at her new school for two weeks and had managed, more or less, to stay out of trouble and she and Happy had even managed to go a few days without fighting. Maybe things were starting to look up. Nah. Who was she kidding. Sooner or later, she'd fuck up and he'd start yelling again.

Happy really wasn't sure how he felt about Dee coming to stay. He did want to see her. So much so, that it freaked him out. Despite this, he was worried. Given his history with her sister and his complete inability to commit, he couldn't see how they could get together without him hurting her. Somehow though, he knew that wouldn't stop him. Not when she wanted it as much as him.


	33. Chapter 33

I don't own sons of anarchy

THIRTY THREE

Dee wrapped her arms around her niece and planted a sloppy kiss on her cheek. "Hey baby girl. It's so good to see you." She frowned as she looked around. "Hap not here?"

Lacy shrugged. "He wont be long. He just went to get some food." She took her aunt's hand. "Come in. We can catch up before he gets in and starts bitching."

"Why would Hap bitch?"

"Cos nothing I do is good enough. You gotta talk to him Dee, he's a nightmare." She rolled her eyes and gave her best Happy impersonation. "Do your fucking homework. No you aint going out. I don't give shit, sugar, you will clean up after yourself. Bla, bla, bla."

"Oh poor you. I guess you'll just have to do what he says and he'll get off your back."

"Huh mighta known you'd take his side."

"I'm not taking sides, Lacy. But I do know that Happy loves you more than anything. He wouldn't bitch if he had no reason. Maybe you should cut him some slack. He's doing this because he wants what's best for you."

"He's doing it because he's a control freak and he has to be right."

"That too." Dee grinned. "All the more reason to do as he says."

Lacy grinned and slumped onto the sofa. "Just dump your bag there. It'll really piss him off but he wont be able to say anything to you."

"Oh Lacy. He's really been pissing you off hasn't he?"

"You have no idea. Please Dee, talk to him."

"Okay, okay. But I can't promise it'll make any difference."

They both looked up as the subject of their conversation walked through the door. He grinned and pulled Dee into a bear hug, enjoying the feeling of her body close to his. "Hey darling. Sorry I was out when you got here. I take it Lacy's been feeding you a load of bullshit about how tough I've been on her."

Lacy scowled. "It aint bullshit."

"So you tell her about stealing my smokes, skipping lessons. How you think it's okay to use every plate in the place and never wash up? You want me to go on? No I thought not."

Dee smiled and laid her hand flat against his chest. "I did try to warn you."

"Yeah you did. Maybe next time I'll listen."

"You're both gonna gang up on me aint ya?" Lacy stood and flounced to her room. "I can't believe I was looking forward to you coming, Dee."

They both winced as the door slammed and Happy chuckled. "I'm not gonna have any doors left if she keeps this up."

Dee followed him into his small, pristine kitchen and leaned on the counter as he put the shopping away. "Not easy looking after a teenager, huh?"

"I'd rather take on a whole chapter of Mayans. I just don't get why she has to fight me on everything."

"She's a teenager, Hap. Shit, you must remember what it was like."

"I was never like that."

"Sure you weren't. How old were you when you did your first stint in juvie?"

"That was different."

"Sure it was. Just try to remember how tough it is for her sometimes. Her body is changing, she's got hormones raging through her body. She's desperately trying to fit in, to find her place in the world." Dee touched his hand. "She hasn't had the best start in life. And if you're right about the dyslexia, that's yet another hurdle for her to overcome."

"You think I'm being too tough on her?"

"No I don't. But it's a fine line you're walking. If you give her an inch, she'll take a mile, at the same time you have to keep reminding her that you love her. That's the most important thing, Hap." She smiled. "What you're doing is amazing and one day she will see that. You just got to stick with it Hap."

"What if I'm doing it wrong, Dee? I got no experience here."

"That's the thing with kids, Hap. They don't come with instructions."

Lacy leaned on the door frame and listened to their exchange. It had never occurred to her that her behaviour was hurting Happy and she felt like a complete shit. She straightened up and walked into the kitchen. "Hap?"

"Yes sugar?"

She chewed on her thumbnail. "Nothing."

As she turned to walk away, Dee nudged him. "Go talk to her."

Happy nodded and followed her back into her bedroom. "Lacy, sugar. How about you tell me what's going on in that head of yours?"

"Am I being a complete bitch?"

"Sometimes."

"So why don't you send me back to Bakersfield?"

"Because I think that this is the best place for you right now."

"Why do you care? I aint your kid."

"As far as I'm concerned you are."

"But you aint my dad Hap. I wish you was, but you aint."

"Does that bother you?"

"It bothers me that my real dad doesn't want to know me."

"Would you like to meet him?"

"I don't know. Maybe. Do you know who he is?"

"Yeah, I do."

"Have you always known? Did mom tell you?"

"I kinda figured it out sugar."

"Does he know about me?"

"Yeah."

"So why didn't he want anything to do with me?"

"Because he didn't want me to find out it was him."

"Why? Shit. Is he a son?"

"Yeah. I guess he thought I'd kill him."

"Did you want to?"

"Truthfully, sugar. I don't know. I didn't know it was him at first and by the time the penny dropped, I'd stopped being angry. Your mom slept with him when I was in jail, and that hurt. But you were the result and I loved you from the first time I saw you. It was hard to stay mad after that."

"How long have you known?"

"I had my suspicions for a while." He sat back with his back against the headboard and grinned. "The older you got, the more obvious it became. You look like him."

"You should have said something."

"Maybe. But I'm selfish. You're my kid and I don't want to share you."

Lacy shifted until she was pressed close to him and he wrapped his arms around her. "I love you Hap."

"I love you too, sugar."

They fell silent for a while, Lacy shifted and positioned herself so she could look him in the eye. "Would you mind?"

"Mind?"

"If I said I wanted to meet him."

"He's your dad. You have a right to know him."

"Hap! That's not what I said." She frowned. "Would you mind?"

"No sugar. I wouldn't mind." It was a lie. Of course he minded. He hated the thought that Lacy might love her real dad more than him. But this wasn't about him and his ego. This was about what was best for Lacy.

She resumed her position, snuggled into his chest. "Hap?"

"Yes sugar?"

"You and Dee. Is there something going on."

"No. Why would you think that?"

"I dunno. The way you look at each other. The fact that you never stop touching."

"You, Lacy Miller, have an over active imagination."

"Whatever." She grinned and slid off the bed. "So, you wont want me to have an early night tonight then?"

Happy chuckled and shook his head. "Smart ass."

Dee was in the kitchen, cooking spaghetti bolognaise. "I hope you don't mind me starting dinner."

"No it's fine." Happy kissed her softly, ignoring Lacy's smirk. "It'll be good to eat something edible for a change."

They ate their dinner in relative silence. Happy's table was small and every so often Dee's thigh would brush against his. In the past he would probably not have noticed. But now he was acutely aware of how close she was, the smell of her perfume, that warm feeling he got when her eyes met his. As soon as they'd finished eating, Lacy gave an exaggerated yawn. "I'm tired, I think I'll go and watch a DVD in my room. Leave you two alone to, I dunno, talk about me or something."

Happy kissed her on the cheek. "Real subtle, Lacy."

"I thought so. Night."

Suddenly finding themselves alone. Happy and Dee felt… awkward. He led her to the sofa and pulled her down next to him. "Lacy thinks we got something going on."

Dee leaned into his shoulder. "And do we?"

"Maybe. I aint sure. It aint that I don't want to. It's just I don't see how it could work between us."

"Because of Mona? Do you still have feelings for her?"

"Me and M were finished a long time ago. It doesn't mean she'd be okay with us getting together though. You know as well as I do, that she can be a vicous bitch when she wants to be. I don't want her using Lacy to hurt me."

"We could just not tell her."

"Sneak around, acting like we're doing something wrong? I dunno, Dee." He kissed her, his hand resting on her cheek. "It was easier when I just saw you as my kid sister."

"Not for me, it wasn't." She returned the kiss, deeper this time. Her body pressed against his as his teeth grazed her lips and his tongue darted into her mouth.

He groaned and pulled away. "How about we take this somewhere more private. Wouldn't want Lacy walking in on us. I'd never hear the last of it."

He led her into his bedroom and closed the door softly behind him then, cupping her face in his hands, kissed he again. Slowly his hands moved downward, tracing the column of her throat, brushing softly against her breasts until they came to rest on her hips. "Dee." He growled, so low she could hardly make out his words. "I need to see you naked."

Smiling, she started to strip, her eyes never leaving his. It wasn't a practiced striptease like he'd seen a thousand times before, nor was she ripping her clothes off in a frenzy to get naked. She just slowly and deliberately dispensed with her clothes until she stood before him completely naked. Happy thought it was the hottest thing he'd ever seen. "Shit girl, you are fucking beautiful." He pulled her close, running his hands across her body, his mouth crashing down on hers, taking her breath away with it's intensity.

"Hap." She gasped. You got too many clothes on.

He was stripped in double quick time and she licked her lips in anticipation as her hands ran up his chiselled torso, giving a squeal of delight as he picked her up and dumped her unceremoniously onto the bed.

He must have had sex with hundreds of women, but never like this. Slowly they explored each other, delighting in every discovery. Biting, touching, tasting until finally he could resist no longer and he plunged inside her marvelling at how she seemed to be made just for him.

She was coming! He could feel it build inside her as she writhed underneath him, her short nails dragging down his back and as her body arched and convulsed he thrust harder and harder feeling his own climax building until, unable to hold back, he let go, his roar joining her cries before they collapsed in an exhausted, satisfied heap.

Lacy turned up the volume on her I pod. As much as she wanted Dee and Happy to get together, she really didn't need to hear it. After all they were old and at their age. Well it was just disgusting.


	34. Chapter 34

I don't own sons of anarchy

THIRTY FOUR

Lacy padded into the kitchen unable to keep the smirk from her face as Happy and Dee jumped apart as if they'd been stung. "I am glad that you two have managed to pull your heads out of your asses and get together. But I really don't need to see that shit. And I really, really don't need to hear whatever it was you were doing last night, so in future if you could just keep the noise down, I would appreciate it."

Dee blushed and Happy chuckled. "S'up sugar. Never had you down as a prude."

"I'm not. But you're old, Hap." She wrinkled up her nose. "I mean, like ew."

Dee shook her head. "Hap isn't old."

"Oh, he so is. His hair's all grey and shit and have you seen his cd collection?" She shuddered. "He's like forty or something."

Grinning he put a plate of scrambled eggs and bacon in front of her. "Aint too old to kick your ass sugar. Now eat your breakfast or you'll be late for school."

"Aw c'mon, Hap. Can't I have a day off? I wanna spend some time with Dee."

"And you will. In the evenings and at the weekend."

"But…"

"No buts, sugar. You will go to school."

"I hate you."

"Yeah, you said. Now eat your breakfast."

"Not hungry."

She stood abruptly, her chair toppling backwards, crashing on to the floor as she stormed into her room, Happy close on her heels. "Sit down and eat your breakfast. I really don't need any shit from you today."

"You can't tell me what to do, you aint my dad." As soon as the words were out of her mouth she regretted it. "Hap…"

Happy turned his back on her and calmly picked up her plate and scraped the contents into the bin. Dee touched his arm. "She doesn't mean it."

"Yes she does. Who am I kidding? I can't do this, Dee. Every day it's the same. One minute she's fine, the next she's spitting venom. I'm scared I'm gonna lose it with her, that I'll hurt her."

"You wont hurt her. Oh you might get mad. But you've got more self control than you give yourself credit for. Did you ever hit Mona?"

"Of course not. I loved her."

"Even though she must've pushed you to the limit?"

"Yeah she did. But Lacy is her mother's daughter. She knows just which buttons to push."

"Yes she does. And you just have to rise above it."

"That's easier said than done."

"Oh I never said it was easy." She reached up and kissed him. "You're doing just fine, Hap. Do you want me to talk to her?"

He returned the kiss. "Nah this is me." Taking a deep breath he walked towards Lacy's room. "I wish I had your faith, Dee."

Lacy looked up as Happy walked into her room. "I didn't mean it, Hap."

"It don't make it any less true, sugar." He sat on the bed. "I aint your dad, as much as I wish I was."

"I shouldn't have said it though. I was just pissed and it just came out."

"No you shouldn't. But it's done now, so let's move on."

"Aren't you pissed at me?"

"Yeah, I'm pissed. Hurt too. But it's early an' you got school. And to be honest, sugar I just don't have the energy to keep yelling." He sighed. "D'ya know what? Just do what the fuck you want. Go to school, don't go to school. You wanna throw your life away, go right ahead. Cos right now I can't bring myself to care."

He stood and made to leave, Lacy grabbed his arm. "I'm sorry Hap. I'll go to school. Just please don't be mad at me."

He sighed again, and pulled her into his arms. "One of these days, sugar, you are gonna push me too far."

She pulled away and giving him a shaky smile, picked up her school bag. "Will you give me a ride?"

"Sure."

Lacy loved riding with Happy, and always felt a mile high when he dropped her off at the school gate. She had told her school friends he was her dad. She didn't think he'd mind and it was easier than trying to explain the dynamics of their relationship. And she wished he was. So very much. The kudos of being the daughter of a son, didn't do her street cred any harm either. The sons were cool and it certainly beat being the white trash, fatherless daughter of a junkie whore that she'd been in Bakersfield.

As soon as he'd dropped Lacy off he headed for Tacoma auto, where he'd been working pretty much full time since Lacy had moved in. Although he wasn't a bad mechanic, this wasn't the way he would choose to earn. Normally he'd do a couple of days a week to keep the taxman off his back, but mostly his money came from protection runs and the more 'specialist' jobs he was known for. Now though, long runs were out of the question, there was no way he could leave Lacy for days on end. He missed them though, both riding alone, or with his brothers. The open road was what he lived for and giving it up was proving to be a wrench.

* * *

Finding herself at a loose end, Dee decided to hit the supermarket and get some decent food in. it was clear that Happy was no cook and they were living, pretty much, on ready meals and take outs. As his apartment was immaculate and needed no cleaning, she planned on spending her spare time cooking them some more wholesome meals and freezing them. Maybe she'd even bake a cake or two. Her time spend with Yvonne as a kid had been well spent and she was a half decent cook when she had the time.

It would have been nice to be able to spend some time with Happy, but she understood that he was having to earn straight now and money was tight. She shook her head, Lacy had no idea how much he was sacrificing for her. Maybe someone should let her know.

* * *

No matter how hard he tried, Happy couldn't concentrate. Cursing as his hand slipped and he tore the skin off his thumb on a jagged piece of metal, he threw the wrench across the shop and went outside for a smoke and to try to quell the noise in his head. Lacy wanted to meet her father. Shit, he'd known she had been asking questions and that it was natural that she want to know him. But, fuck, it stung. She was his kid. Kozic was just a sperm donor. He had no right to have any sort of relationship with her. Maybe he should just kill him, fucker deserved to die for betraying him in the first place. No, it would be tricky explaining that to Lacy, and when all was said and done, Koz was his brother and his best friend. He could do it if he had to, but killing someone you loved tended to come back and bite you.

Then there was Dee. Shit. What a fucking mess. Last night was the best sex he'd ever had in his entire life. He had no idea what it was that set it apart. But no one, not even Mona, had fitted so well. It was like they were made for each other. That was the only way he could explain it. It sounded corny but there really was no other explanation. He closed his eyes and searched for the word he was looking for. It was like…synchronicity.

Despite this, he knew them being together would stir up a shit storm. There was no way Mona would accept them being together without a fight. And when Mona fought, she fought dirty. Then of course there was the logistics to sort out. Were they going to have a long distance relationship? Could they be just fuck buddies? Would she be prepared give up her life in LA and move to Tacoma?

Shit. He was thinking too much. He pushed himself away from the wall and, walking back into the shop, grabbed his cut.

"Hey Dan." He shouted over to his boss, who was also trying to grab a sneaky smoke. "I'm gonna take a ride. Got shit I need to sort out."

Dan nodded, assuming it was club shit he was talking about. The shop wasn't owned by the club but it did have strong ties, and it wasn't unusual for Happy to take off with no notice. He didn't particularly like it, but he knew better than to complain. Being a friend of the club had it's advantages and nobody ever pissed off the killer.

As he headed out of town, Happy realized just how much he had needed this. The route he'd chosen was a little used stretch of highway that snaked through the foothills towards Mount Rainier. As he twisted the throttle and pushed his bike harder and harder, he could feel all the stress leaving his body. All he was aware of was the wind whipping past his face, the roar of the engine and the feel of his Harley as it hugged the road.

The further Tacoma fell behind him, the calmer he became. So what if Lacy wanted to meet her dad. It wouldn't alter what she had with him. And why was he getting all bent out of shape over Dee? He'd just had the most mind blowing sex ever and he was pretty sure it was as good for her as it was for him. Not to mention the fact that she was a really great girl. They'd figure it out.

By the time his bladder told him it was time to stop. He was ready to take on the world again, and had decided that if he hurried, he could get home in time for a quickie with Dee before Lacy got back.

Dee was rolling pastry as Happy walked in and placing his hands on her hips, kissed her neck. She smiled. "Hey. You're home early."

"Wanted to have some quality time with my favourite girl." He turned her around and pushed her up against the wall, growling as her body pressed against his. "Shit Dee. I need you so bad."

Unlike the night before which had been a voyage of discovery, slow and deliberate. This was lust, pure and simple. Fast, furious and completely lacking in finesse. But as he slammed into her up against the wall, causing her to cry out in both and pleasure and pain, Happy again, felt completely in sync with her. Unlike the skanks that hung around the clubhouses who had a 'one size fits all' approach to sex, when Dee cried out or moaned, it was through genuine pleasure not because she thought it was what he wanted to hear. Mona was probably more skilled, but she was also calculating, using those skills to get what she wanted. Dee, however was completely without guile, she gave without wanting anything in return, and took from him hungrily. She was completely open in her desire for him, and that was probably the biggest turn on of all.

As they climaxed, collapsing to the floor, gasping for breath, he knew he wasn't going to give her up. Yes, they had shit to work out, and would probably hit obstacles along the way. He reckoned, though it would be worth it. It had taken him a lifetime, but Happy was learning what real love was supposed to feel like.


	35. Chapter 35

I don't own sons of anarchy

THIRTY FIVE

Happy didn't think he'd ever seen Lacy look so nervous. He reached out and grabbed her arm as she stood to check her reflection for the, what seemed the hundredth time. "Relax sugar, everything's going to be fine."

"But what if he hates me?" She chewed nervously on her thumbnail. "He might want his kid to be smart and pretty."

"You are smart and pretty." He glanced at the clock. "C'mon, sugar it's time to go." Taking her hand, he led her outside to his bike. They were meeting Kozic at a local diner. Happy thought it would be better for everyone if they met for the first time on neutral territory. And he would be less likely to kill him in a public place.

Dee looked up from her magazine and gave Lacy an encouraging smile as she headed for the door. She really wasn't sure whether this was a good idea, but for now, would keep her opinions to herself.

It had come as a shock to discover that Happy had known for some considerable time, who Lacy's father was, and an even bigger surprise when he agreed to him meeting his daughter. She knew that, as far as Happy was concerned, she was his kid and she didn't imagine he was keen on the idea of sharing her. There was something else. Something he had refused to discuss… Mona. She may have been flaky and unreliable, but she was Lacy's mom and she should have at least been informed of his decision. Happy, however felt differently, Mona had been more than happy to hand over the responsibility of taking care of her daughter to him, so as far as he was concerned she got no say in what he decided to do. Lacy was nearly fifteen years old and wanted to know her biological father, so that's what she was going to do. And if there was any fallout as a result, he would deal with it.

Kozic sat in the diner chewing nervously on a thumbnail. Why the fuck had he agreed to this? Although, really, what choice did he have. It wasn't that he didn't care. But Mona had made it clear that it was best for everyone if he just said nothing and had no part in the kids life, and he was happy to agree. It wasn't just that he was worried about what Hap would do if he found out. He didn't want a kid, particularly with a bitch like Mona.

If he lived to a hundred, he would never understand the hold she had over his brother. Sure, she was a looker and yes, she knew how to turn on the charm. But there was something else. She was calculating, manipulative. Even in the depths of her addiction, she had played Happy, over and over again. And he'd just let her. Kozic understood the mindset of an addict, he'd been one himself. He knew how selfish they were, how nothing was more important that the next fix. But Mona, shit she'd taken it to a whole different level. If he'd have stuck around she'd have destroyed him.

The sound of a Harley brought him back to the present and he glanced out of the window as Happy and Lacy dismounted. He sucked in a breath as she removed her helmet and shook out her long blonde hair. If there had been any lingering doubts about whether the kid was his, they were immediately dispelled. She looked just like him.

As Lacy headed for the diner, she slipped her hand into Happy's, something she hadn't done for years. She may have been nearly fifteen and spent most of her time insisting she wasn't a kid and didn't need to be treated like one. But, right now, the reassuring squeeze of his big hand on her small one felt as good now as it had when she was five. Holding tightly to his hand she followed him inside and found herself face to face with her father.

Kozic smiled. "Hi Lacy, pleased to meet you. My name's Herman Kozic, and I'm your dad. Why don't we sit down. I'm sure there's stuff you'd like to ask me."

Without relinquishing her grip on Happy's hand, she slid into a booth, her eyes downcast. Happy squeezed her hand again. "You want something to eat, sugar?"

Lacy shrugged but remained silent as Happy ordered burgers and sodas for all of them. There a million questions whirling around in her head, but she couldn't bring herself to speak. She didn't even look up when the waitress brought their burgers. Kozic opened his mouth to speak but Happy caught his eye and gave a tiny shake of his head and he closed it again. They ate their food in silence. At least Happy and Kozic did. Lacy just stared at her burger with unseeing eyes. Happy frowned and tucked a stray hair behind her ear. "Lacy, sugar. There must be something you want to say."

Taking a deep breath, she looked up and when her eyes met Kozic's they were cold and emotionless. "Yeah I do have one question."

Kozic smiled. "Fire away, sweetheart."

"Why didn't you want to see me? Were you just too spineless to face up to Hap, or are you just a heartless son of a bitch?"

"I…. Shit Lacy I don't know what to tell you."

"How about you tell me the truth. Why didn't you want anything to do with me?"

"It's complicated. When your mom found out she was pregnant, she thought it would be better if no one knew I was the dad."

"When you say no one, you mean Happy."

"Yeah, I guess."

"Okay, so now I know. You are spineless." She stood and turned to Happy. "Can you take me home? Goodbye Mr Kozic."

Happy stood and touched her shoulder. "Give him a chance, sugar."

"Why should I?"

"Shit. I can't believe I'm saying this. Koz is a good guy, maybe he should've manned up and fought for you. But I for one aint sorry that he didn't. You are my kid, Lacy, always will be. But there's no reason you can't make room for Koz."

Kozic grinned. "Thanks man."

"I aint doing this for you." Happy frowned then turned back to his girl. "You know I love you, right?"

"Yeah."

"And you trust me?"

"Of course."

"Okay. I want you to get to know Kozic. He's your family and he will look out for you if I can't be around."

"You planning on running out on me Hap?"

"Only every fucking day, sugar. The only reason I stick around is I figure you won't be a snotty teenager forever."

"Funny, Hap." She sighed and sat back down. "I aint calling you dad."

"Okay, sweetheart."

"And I aint your sweetheart."

Happy chuckled. "Probably should've warned you about her attitude."

Giving Happy the finger, she turned back to Kozic. "Will you look out for me, like Hap says?"

"Of course."

"I'll never love you like I love him."

"I don't expect you to. You will always be Hap's kid. That will never change." He smiled. "I'd like to get to know you better, Lacy. But we'll do this at your speed."

"Okay." She gave a tiny smile as Happy sat back down next to her and took her hand. "I look like you don't I?"

"Yeah, sorry about that." He grinned as she chewed on her thumbnail. "I do that too." Kozic watched as she leaned into Happy. Practically everyone he knew was intimidated by the man opposite him. This skinny kid though, showed no fear. She knew that no matter how far she pushed him, he'd never hurt her. He knew from what Happy had told him that she'd been having a rough time and was struggling at school. He decided, however, not to broach the subject. Maybe when they got to know each other better they could talk about it. The kid was prickly to say the least and it wouldn't be difficult to rub her up the wrong way.

As she pressed her cheek into Happy's hoodie on her way home, Lacy reflected on her meeting with Kozic. She had meant it when she said she would never call him dad. That honour would always belong to Happy. And later as she snuggled on the sofa with him and Dee in front of the TV, she knew that this was her family. Always had been and always would be.


	36. Chapter 36

I don't own sons of anarchy

THIRTY SIX

Dee closed her eyes and nestled against Happy's chest. She would be leaving today and they really needed to talk about their future. "Are we going to talk about what's going on here?"

"We've just had mind blowing sex, and as soon as I get my breath back we're going to do it again."

She sighed. Talking wasn't Happy's strong point. But this was important. She needed to know where she stood. "Hap, please."

He grinned. "Demanding bitch." Pulling himself up into a sitting position, he lit a cigarette. "How about you tell me what it is you want."

"I want to be with you."

There it was again. He asked her what she wanted and she told him. She was the most straight forward bitch he had ever known. "Okay."

"Okay? Just like that?"

"You want to be with me. I want to be with you. Aint much else to discuss." He made it sound simple, but of course they both knew it wasn't. He had spent the last few days weighing up all the arguments whether or not they had a future together, and he had no doubt that the noise in her head was just as loud as it was in his. He ran his fingers through her hair. "I know we got shit to figure out. But that's just details."

She nodded and swung her legs over the edge of the bed. "I'm hungry, pancakes okay?"

"Sure." He watched as she padded, naked across the bedroom. She had a classic hour glass figure that, unlike her sister, she worked hard to achieve. He knew that she visited the gym and swam regularly and had to admit, the results were spectacular. It was indicative of the way she was. If she wanted something, she worked hard to achieve it. In all the years he'd known her, he'd never known her ask for anything.

He couldn't help but worry that it was unreasonable to ask her give up her life in LA to be with him. Climbing out of the bed, he stalked after her and roughly pulled her into his arms, burying his face into her hair. "I can't believe you want to be with someone like me."

"Why wouldn't I?"

"Because you're smart, beautiful. Shit, girl. You could have anyone you wanted. You should be with some fancy lawyer or something."

She laughed and standing on tip toes kissed him gently on the lips. "Oh I've dated more than my fair share of lawyers, and they don't have half the integrity that you do. I know you, Happy. Who you are, what you do. I'm not stupid and I don't think life with you will always be easy. But you are the only person I can truly be myself with. Yes I have a good job and a nice lifestyle, but what's really important to me is what's important to you. Family."

Happy returned the kiss then, reluctantly, pulled away. He knew he'd never shake the feeling that she could do better, despite her reassurances. The life he led could be brutal and took it's toll on old ladies. He had already decided that she wouldn't wear his ink and he would do his best to keep her away from the club. The greater the distance, the safer she and Lacy would be.

* * *

Lacy sat at the kitchen table watching as Dee made pancakes. "I wish you could stay."

"Me too Lacy. But I'll be back as soon as I can."

"For good?"

Dee grinned and Lacy leapt to her feet and pulled her aunt into a bear hug. "I always knew you and Hap would get together eventually."

"Oh did you now?"

"Yeah, ever since I was little. Nana Von knew it too. She's gonna be made up."

"I'm not sure telling her is a good idea. Me and Hap want to keeps things under wraps for now."

"Why? Oh I get it. This is about mom aint it?" She frowned. "You think she's gonna cause trouble?"

"Truthfully, I don't know. But Hap's worried she might try to keep you from him if she finds out."

"She can't do that. Can she?"

"Yes she can, Lacy."

"You can't keep it a secret for ever."

"I know, and we don't want to. We just need a bit of breathing space. Does that make sense?"

"I guess." Lacy sat back down. For over two months all she'd tried to do was get Happy to agree to her going back to Bakersfield, but suddenly nothing was more important to her than being allowed to stay. She might never admit it, but she actually quite enjoyed going to school now and was starting to make friends. Her relationship with Happy was slowly starting to improve. He still drove her nuts, but the thought of being kept away from him terrified her. It wasn't that she didn't love her mom, but she loved him just as much. And she trusted him more.

* * *

Once showered, Happy made his way to the kitchen, hesitating as he overheard his name mentioned. He didn't mean to eavesdrop but hearing that Lacy was genuinely pleased for them and finding out that, despite her protestations, wanted to stay with him, was reassuring. He was still afraid that he'd be put in a position where he'd have to choose between her and Dee. More than anything, he wanted to keep his little family together. "Hey, sugar." He kissed Lacy on the top of her head and sat next to her.

"Hey, Hap." She grinned. "Dee's made pancakes. Just think, when she moves in, we'll get proper food every day."

"When she moves in, she will not be cooking for you every day."

"I'm right here, you guys." They both looked up with stupid grins on their faces. Rolling her eyes she chuckled as she gazed on her family. She didn't expect things to be plain sailing. How could they be when you threw a hormonal teenager, a crazy ex and an outlaw MC into the mix? But life would never be boring. Her eyes met those of the man she'd waited her entire life for and her grin got even broader. Happy Lowman loved her and she loved him. No amount of drama would ever change that.

Lacy sighed contentedly. She fully expected there to be more fights and there would definitely be days when she would hate Happy and probably Dee too. But it wouldn't last and she knew that no matter what, they would always love her and she would always love them. There had never been a time that Dee hadn't been there for her. And when she looked at the mean faced, tattooed man sitting next to her, she knew no matter what happened, and nothing that anyone said, would change the fact that, as far as she was concerned, he was the best person in the whole wide world.

THE END

I'd like to take the opportunity to thank everyone who has reviewed and followed this story. I've loved writing it and loved the fact it's been enjoyed.

I'm thinking of a follow up story. Please let me know what you think.

Much love xxxxxx


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